!....It is a word that in some cases shoul be a twenty-four letter word.  Because it is given up freely in so many cases.  However in others it takes some to the highest highs of hurt, debauchery and unpleasent memories.  What you may be asking some to do is lay their lives upon the line.  To give you all that they have!  Like faith, either you have it.  Or you dont!  Mesticate on that....  

I was sooooooo mad!!! Words cannot and probably ever express the angst, the anger and pure livid feelings I am experiencing right now!!! I sit here in this cold feeling room, white walls, white floors and seemingly non-caring staff. The air conditioner was on extreme low. Instead of me being cold I was hot! I was perspiring under my boobs, arms and my scalp was damp! My right leg was bobbing up and down, I was trembling all over. My head was throbbing big time and I had a severe headache!! I wanted to curse everyone out. I indeed had my habits on and wanted to take it out on any and everyone who looked my way and those who spoke. I felt at this moment that everyone here was at fault at the my recent demise. I had silently curse the world, my family, my friends and strangers! I gave a damn about no one! If postal was what I was feeling, I could at this very moment go postal on everyone on this room. However I didn't have a pistol, knife or machete! If I did ooohhhhh everyone would be dead and I would make the 6:00 news!!!!


I knew alllll about Donald and his torrid past and present. Just like many people who knew him. Donald spread himself around like jam on toast. However he didn't do it lightly! He spread it on reeeeaaal thick and heavy!! Donald was a serial womanizer and man hoar and could care less who knew and didn't know. He was cautioned by his family and friends continuously, “Donald you are going to catch something you will not be able to get rid of!” We all felt that way. Though I was not close to Donald, nor wanted to get close to him because of the wild life he had led. Donald was one of those people who seemed to be adventurous and free. He partied, drank, did drugs, traveled, worked hard, played hard and participated in unadulterated sexual escapades! It was no secret! That is until it all came falling down and crashing down around him! Donald had gotten into a bad car collision and it almost took his life!! Donald was in the hospital for a month and a half. The whole community, neighborhood, family, friends and alll of his ex lovers, present and way from the past came together and prayed for Donald. Came to see him in the hospital. The first two weeks he was in a coma. The doctors said it was a 60% chance that Donald may not ever walk again. We were all devastated by this news. Just because Donald was a womanizer and known for many things. He was a giving, loyal friend. A great son that loved and spoiled his parents to no ends. He was very well liked! Donald was charming and had an outgoing persona, it was hard to dislike him. However he had a lot that were envious of him, hated him for his many successes in his life. Donald was simply Donald, no other way to put it. I just had rather stay my distance from him. I didn't want to get caught up with Donald! He was known to sale snake oil to a snake, many of them!

Donald got out of the hospital shocking all of his doctors. He immediately went into physical therapy and pushed himself! Donald superseded so many expectations. Once he got better, Donald had done a complete 180!! This shocked some, and some were not so shocked. “If you almost died and was told you may not walk. Survived all of that! Hell you would turn your life around too!” I had to agree! Donald calmed his extra curricular activities down significantly! He partied, but very little. He enjoyed giving gatherings at his home. It was his way of giving back to all of those he felt were there and helped him through his health scare. No drugs were there, alcohol yes. Drugs no! Luncheons, brunches, dinners, outdoor pool parties and bar-b-ques. He had gotten a great reputation around that he threw the best parties! He did! This is when I came around, this is when I relented and got to know Donald. He had changed so much! You rarely seen women come around, in or out of his house. Donald spent of course more time with his family. When Donald felt up to par, he had taken his family on a weeks vacation to Cancun. Donald had told me he needed to see sunsets, water and feel close to nature. He came back with a glow.

For five years I worked for a event planning company. It was my passion, I actually gotten the job on a fluke. However it was the best job I had in my life! I loved coming to work! I loved working overtime! Of course I loved the pay. I had worked myself in good graces with the owner and the VP of of the company. I was referred by many of the clients I had worked with. So of course the company loved that about me. I planned and hosted some fabulous events. I have also planned events for people that lived out of state! These people had to let me know six weeks in advance. Of course pay my airfare, hotel, rental car and I had a small per Diem. I am telling you I was and still am that good at what I do!

Being pushed to start my own company and branch off. That is exactly what I did! With the backing and huge assistance from my parents taking a second out on their home. They believed in me and knew I could do it! They were right! I took a lot my old jobs clients. Not out of malice, but they all had my personal cell number of course. My business did good the first six months of being open! I superseded my expectations by two months that I had given myself at least six months to a year to build my clientele.

So it was this reason Donald and I had come together. I had went to two of his gatherings. One was a lunch and the other was a pool party. My brother Lewis was good friends with Donald. So this is how I knew the type of person Donald was. But then his life was far from secret and he had a reputation!

Donald wanted to plan a masquerade eyes wide shut type of party. The theme was from the movie with Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise. Donald wanted it sexy, classy and erotic event at the same time. He wanted to blow people out of the water. He wanted me to rent a huge tent for his massive backyard and heating lamps, transform his backyard, living room and family room into this themed party. He hired me! It would not take me long to work on this party due in part I had a company, and I had a few people working for me. So my staff would do most of the research for me. The grunt and ground work. Well the party was a hit and a huge success and was more than what Donald had expected. I even had the bartenders, waiting staff all dressed in costumes and they wore elaborate mask! The DJ, the catering, everything was magnificent! Donald had now asked me to do all of his parties and small gatherings he had. Of course he paid me!! Let me be clear. Now Donald didn't do parties every week! No! Sometimes two a month. But his pool parties in the summer I handled, and his dinner parties. Donald hosted parties that had no less than fifty people plus some of his guest of course made more bodies by bringing someone with them.

Donald had gotten a grant and had turned the park into a circus and carnival for unfortunate kids on the east side of town. Everything was free!! This of course put Donald in the news and made him a semi hero. He had garnered a fond and deep respect from many. Donald had also sent clients to my company, and this formed, or should I say the beginning of us......


Donald and I had started dating. I still had my reservations of him. So I went very slow with Donald. He not once pushed me to do anything I didn't want to do. He was very patient. I must say that Donald knew how to wine and dine a woman. He was very much a charming gentlemen with me. The first time we kissed I melted from the heat of his kiss! My legs got weak and I couldn't catch my breath. Our first kiss had me dizzy! I had never experienced this with any man I had ever been with. I now knew what weak in the knees meant, and it was literally real!

Donald attended all sorts of charity events and social events together. I must admit we made each other look great! Donald was a sharp dresser and I of course was red carpet ready when we went to these gatherings. I was happy with Donald and my feelings had grown significantly for him. As his had grown for me. There was no one that I knew that spoke ill of our relationship. My parents, family and our friends thought we were the perfect power couple. That his handsome and my beauty were that of “Ken and Barbie” some said. I glowed when I was with and around Donald. I would like to say he glowed as well. We were very happy with one another. As Donald went on his crusade to give to people. I was right beside him assisting him as much as I could!

Donald was eager for me to come move in with him. Something I was not very eager to do. I had bad experiences living with a boyfriend before. Something I was dead set against. I was old school one could say. I believed that a man should have his own and a woman should have her own. Living together from what I saw and not being married seemingly brought the worst out of people. That is exactly what it had done for me before. You never know a person they say until you live with them. My ex was sloppy, loved to argue, critical of everything I did. The way I cooked, wore my hair, dressed, my friends and was extremely jealous! Things he had never showed me before. Imagine that! We had been together for two years before he begged me to move in with him. It took me six months to find another place and move the hell out! Of course I broke up with him! Who needed that BS? Certainly not me! To be honest with you, I really didn't spend that many nights over Donald's house and neither did he stay many nights at mine. I know this may sound crazy. However I was just super silly superstitious and felt if we stayed too many nights at each others house it would be the fall of our relationship. This made Donald a bit peeved at times. Especially after a night of passion and when he would fall asleep, I would shower and gather my things up and go home.

I Had managed to put Donald on hold for a few months about the whole moving in with one another. I had to deeply explain, and when I did. Donald said he knew I was the one! The one? What one I retorted. The one he should spend the rest of his life with! Wow! Marriage! Was I ready for that? Not really, I still had some things that I wanted to do. So I pushed it back and told Donald let us accomplish a few more things and then we could discuss it. He was happy with that. I was damn relieved! I had a lot of goals I had wanted to achieve. I had not done those things, and besides as crazy as it sounds. I loved Donald! But I was not deeply in love with him as of yet. Not at this time. I owned my own condo, which I was not going to sale if I got married to Donald. People can teach you two things, what to do , and what not to do. I have seen so many things of what to do and what not to do. So I wanted to make sure that I was financially fixed within myself. Besides, Donald and I had not been together that long to be jumping the broom, let alone talking of marriage in my opinion. It didn't matter that I had knew Donald for years. I was now getting to know more and more of this “new Donald” And I really wanted to know how sincere and true he was.

You see I was working on my real estate license and I wanted to buy abandoned homes and fix them up and sale them. I also wanted to buy rental property. I had a few things set up. I did not want to let a man or anyone come in between what I needed and wanted to do. Besides, I felt at times our relationship was to good to be true. Maybe a lot of women in my shoes would have jumped at the opportunity to marry a man like Donald. Smart, great looking, financially stable, business owner. Plus the man had done a 180 with his life. However in my opinion my life was just getting started! I also wanted to make sure that Donald truly was the man for me. A year of being together was not enough in my opinion, being scared was one of my issues. So many of my brothers friends as well as some of mine had jumped at love allll willy nilly and had got hurt, let down, disappointed and paid big prices for their mistakes. Not I ! I was going to be smart! Truth be told it seemingly played out that I have not and did not make the best decisions when it came to men. Friends? Yes! Hang out buddies? Yes! Lovers? Mates? Boyfriends? Eh....I seemed to get the representative of the wonderful....and shortly the real person came out and treated me like shyt! Like it was their soul purpose to hurt me, lie to me, do me in, cheat on me and more! So though I was happier than a nymphomaniac with a purse full of dildos! I was still keeping my eyes wide shut and open at the same damn time! Because this was truly a world wind romance if that is what you would call it! Donald said and did all the right things! I mean come on, why would he not? He is a, or was a bit of a at one time womanizer!

If Donald did anything wrong, he had to be extremely discreet and very secretive. I paid close attention to a lot of what he did and said. Even when he may have not thought I was not paying attention or listening I was. Now please understand that I not ever showed an ounce of insecurity or a jealous heart. Women threw themselves at Donald all the time! It was as if they did it to taunt me! Though men flirted and asked me out as well. It seems in my eyes that Donald got more play than me. Then again it could have been all in my head. It was hard not to snoop in his computer, files, notes and so forth. Donald was a very busy man that was always on the go. As I, so this of course made me push and push myself into my work and towards my goals so that I wouldn't be all in Donald's concerns and what he was doing. Or maybe who he was doing. My mother told me, “Charity, there is nothing you can say or do that will stop a man from doing what he wants to do. Just as no one can stop you from doing what you want to do. Don't you ever feel the need to babysit a man or look over his shoulder. The minute you do this. The minute you lose faith in yourself.” My mother was right! I had been here and done this too many times in my life! Worried about the next person and not focusing on me. Because at the beginning and the end of the day you cannot control what anyone does. Lord knows that I have tried to do that and that does not work at all!!

So I did what I was suppose to do, I worked on me, moving myself to the next level. I had a great staff that I had hired. Trust me that is hard to get and find. It took a year before I got the right crew working for me. People who loved working for me, with me, and coming to work and enjoying what they do. Not just a paycheck, which I made sure that I was able to pay my staff well along with commission. I like to think of my company as a fun place to work and not some slave job.

I had managed to go to a few seminars, Donald supported me and went along with me. These seminars were based on real estate. How to buy, flip and sale. Also rental property. Well the market was getting better, however there still wasn't a full recovery as being reported. Yes people were buying houses, not like they were ten years ago though. So I was interested in both, flipping to sale and renovating for rental property. It took me about three months before I felt comfortable in doing this. I researched many areas. I wanted to be the person that could buy a house for a dollar and flip it with the help of some government program giving me so much money to help me restore it. I was a smart cookie! I wanted to make money and not spend a lot of money. I also wanted to sale and rent nice property. However I didn't want to put all these fabulous upgrades in a house and found myself on the losing end. It is all a gamble at the end of the day. However it is possible to keep as much of your shirt on in the deal than losing it. I wanted to keep my shirt on!

I learned so much!! Buying appliances, flooring, where to buy it. Paint, light fixtures and so on. Once I really got the hang of it, because in the beginning it was overwhelming. What I learned though was the same lighting, paint, flooring and appliances in all of my rentals and homes. Of course some better upgrades and appliances were placed in the more palatial homes. A little more was done. At the end of the day, what was in one home, was in the next! Down to the counter tops and cabinetry! Basic, nice, and reasonable on my pocket!

Donald was excited seeing my progress and my knowledge in the real estate market. He asked me to find his sister and her family a home. I did, and later we moved his parents in a smaller three bedroom fixer upper which they were very pleased with. I had learned how to flip and get these homes down in 6 to 8 weeks. Of course there were a few issues here and there. However I couldn't deal with all that stressful stuff. So I hired my brother who knew construction and was a foreman at one time to deal with all of that. I still had a company to run. I loved more of what I did than real estate, that was a side hustle and a cushion for me later in life. It was a lot of work and yes I had to spend so much time in my day to keep up on expenses and more. It was overwhelming, but it kept me busy. Which is what I wanted it to do. Donald was beginning to place a little pressure on me. A year had passed......


It was now two years Donald and I had been together. I must say we had been doing good. However I feel that we were doing good with each other because we didn't put all of our time into one another. I know that sounds crazy, however it is so true. Donald had things to do and a business to run along with many social events he attended. I attended them with him as well. There were meetings, long days and so much on our plates that we had dealt with and had to deal with. We made time for each other. That was something we had promised we would do, and though it was a bit challenging at times. We kept to it. There were luncheons, breakfasts, dinners and of course Donald or me staying a night a piece at each others house. No we still had not moved into each others home. I had now relented in staying the full night and not leaving after a night of passion we had shared. I had to let that one go. It was something that bothered Donald a lot and had caused some tension in our relationship. Though later on Donald managed to stay at my place more than I stayed at his. I still had to maintain some alone time and distance. I felt that this was what made our relationship successful. We longed for each other, missed each other, our time together was always welcoming.

Donald and I had felt we were neglecting our loved ones. To a certain extent we were and we weren't. However Donald wanted to have this elaborate dinner at his house. It would be simple of course for me to get it it done. I just told my staff what I wanted and they would get it done. It would be nice to have my family and Donald's family all in one place and having a good time. Now we are talking close cousins, nieces, nephews, in laws and so on. So this would at least be about sixty to seventy people. Of course Donald had the room for it at his home. I could never host something so huge at my loft, though it was pretty big! However I also used the first floor of my three story loft for my business. Why not? The second and third floor was where the living area was anyways. So it cut down on a lot of overhead for me. This place was a steal for me. I planned on never ever giving it up! I told Donald this as well in causal conversation. I just so happened to get in on this and buy it when it was really cheap and it was still very industrial in the area. Which fast forward two years and it now has shopping strips, condos and apartment homes have sprung up. Which all work for me. I love shopping in my neighborhood and having that convenience.

My family was excited about the dinner. My brother, his wife and two children would be there along with mother and fathers sisters and brothers that still lived here and their children my cousins, along with their children. I was overwhelmed thinking about the children. However not all of them were small. But I made sure that we had games and activities that everyone could participate in and not tear up Donald's house in the process. Young children tend to get bored quick. While teenagers are so trying to be grown and don't need as much entertaining as younger children. However, there were still some semi grown things for them to do. I am telling you my team was awesome!

Donald wanted everything white! Tablecloths, cloth napkins, chair covers, candles and white lilies in vases. There were small white lights, or what some would call Christmas lights intertwined in the trees, poles, plants and so on. In the vases along with the candles were knock off pearls inside and also on the table. White china plates and white name cards that were embossed in silver. I wanted the guest to mix and mingle with both sides of the families. So no one was sitting with their wives, sisters, brother or cousins. This would make everyone get to know each other better as well as interact with one another.

There was light jazz lounge music playing in the background. Music calms the savage beast and I didn't want the younger children to get all amped and active. We all were suppose to wear white as well. Not necessarily a white party. However as the guest arrived and the waiters past out champagne to our guest and sparkling apple cider to those under twenty-one. The mood was happy and light.

We all talked and greeted each other with smiles, hugs and kisses. Ate appetizers and prepared ourselves for the feast before us. I know I was starving. Regardless of how I tried to make my day light, it was busy and hectic. I ate light all throughout the day so that I could keep a little room for dinner.

Donald and I sat next to each other. There were round tables throughout the backyard that sat eight to a table. Donald stood up, tapping the side of his champagne glass with his fork. Everyone stopped eating and talking. I was confused as to why he was stopping everyone from eating and why it couldn't wait. But Donald was still a show off and loved being the center of attention as much as he could. “You all know that I love this beautiful talented lady to my left. She is responsible for this beautiful setting and dinner we are all enjoying. Everyone clapped. I smiled and nodded my head. As you all know Charity runs one of the most sought after and successful event planning companies in the world! I shook my head. Choice of Charity Event Planning. It is her four year anniversary. One of the reasons why we are all here tonight. I am sure she has totally forgotten, but I have not. Then there was applause. I did forget! Four years! Wow! He remembered! Donald bent down and kissed the side of my cheek. I was so flattered and very surprised!! Alllll of this was done for me!! heart was melting. However we are just not here to celebrate the anniversary of my soul mate, but ...and then Donald got down on one knee pulled out a small black velvet box. Charity Fox will you marry me?” My mouth dropped open and my eyes welled up with tears. I was really taken back and surprised. I really didn't know what to say. Yes I loved Donald and was now truly in love with him. Yes he had won my heart over completely! “Yes” I nodded and everyone stood up and applauded us! Cheered and hooted. My father came over along with my mom and stood by Donald. My dad spoke, “I knew about this two weeks ago. I gave my blessings. I ask that you all toast to my baby girl and her fiance! Blessings and favor on their engagement.”

I really didn't look at my ring, and when I really took a look at it. It was the same ring I had picked out almost a year ago! Donald and I were in a jewelry store and he was buying his dad a gold watch with diamonds in it and his mom a matching watch for their anniversary. He asked me what rings I liked. Of course I liked the ring that had the huge diamond. The sales lady said it was ten kt. It was over the top and gaudy! But I loved it! It also had small two kt diamonds around the center diamond. This was that ring, the ring! My heart melted and I cried even more. I was the happiest woman on earth!

Life was moving fast! My staff wanted to plan my wedding, and I gave them full reign! I trusted them. I wanted a black and white wedding. Simple bridesmaids will wear black along with the groomsmen and I wanted it elegant and sophisticated over the top. I didn't have time, they would come and share details and how things were going and get my approval for things. It was all great so far. I was staying on top of things with my flipping houses and buying rental properties up. My brother Chad was now working for me and with me. He had quit his job and we had started an LLC. We were now a team, so I guess I couldn't say working for me. We started Charity and Chad Properties. After a hard year of ups and downs, but in the end the downs were all learning experiences and had helped us to be stronger and make better business decisions. It was a lot of hard work. Chad had studied and gotten his real estate and brokers license. It took me almost a year and a half to get mine because I was so busy with my event planning company. Business was booming and I had to stay on top of things. With that being said Donald wanted to buy a new house and put his up for sale. He had put so much into his house and actually had offers to buy the house before he had put it on the market. People were impressed with the lot and the home that much. I of course didn't want to live in a house that he had his many raucous affairs and sexual escapades in. I was glad that Donald understood that. So of course we, Chad and I were on the look out for a new house for Donald and I. I was in no real rush, and I was in no real rush to walk down the aisle either. Donald was though!

As time went on, I was getting cold feet and my senses were telling me to back off a bit and extend the wedding date. I did, made a few excuses. Legitimate of course. I wanted us to have the house of our dreams, make sure it was fully furnished. I also wanted to take a much needed vacation! I hadn't had one in five years! Weekend excursions didn't count as far as I was concerned. Neither did leaving out of town to plan parties and events count either!

I did find the house of my dreams! Donald loved it too! It was a steal! However it was a rehab and needed some work done. I told Chad that we were in no rush to fix it up. Once one project was done then we would work on the next project of the house. I didn't want it to be how it is with the houses we bought and fixed up done in six to eight weeks. Besides, this was a huge home! 4,500 sq ft! Floors, roof, painting, exterior, interior all of that had to be done. Not including all new appliances and a few walls knocked out and walk in closets installed. I wanted it to be perfect! So did Donald! I knew he indeed wanted a show place of a house. So this gave and bought me much needed time. Time for me to figure out why I was having these thoughts and feelings of being with Donald. My mother said it was nerves, and it was expected. But I was thinking this should be a happy moment for me.


It took six month two weeks and three days to get the house the way we wanted. This also included furnishing it. Donald had put his house up for sale the fifth month of our house being refurbished. His house sold in two weeks! One of his colleagues had purchased his home from him. Of course there was the thirty day escrow. Donald was going to stay at his parents until we got married. I was happy that he had made that decision on his own. Besides, I worked out of the loft and sometime we were all here overtime and I am sure that Donald didn't want to deal with that either. Then maybe again he wouldn't have minded. But he knew how I felt about living together. I still had that issue, living or shacking up with a man and not married. I just didn't want to ruin it. However by now Donald and I knew what got on each others nerves and our biggest pet peeves and idiosyncrasies. We had a long talk about it, and how we would both try our hardest not to get on each others nerves and respect those lines. Though nothing is perfect in any relationship the quickest way to make a your man or woman despise you the most was to continue to do things that they didn't like over and over. That will drive a wedge between the both of you for sure.

Look I know that it seems I only see the negative in this. However I am just on guard with my life. It seems as if I can't pick nor choose the right men in my life. Everything goes well in the beginning, after the representative has left the building the true person comes out. I have been as honestly flawed as I can possibly be in my relationships! I don't like clingy insecure men. I like being alone, I love my own space, I am and can be selfish. I pull a silent temper tantrum here and there. I am adventurous and at times like to do things my way on my own time and don't want anyone to ask me any questions about it. I am blunt at times. I am really working on that one. I can also come across mean and moody. Now if that isn't putting some of my perfected flaws down I don't know what is! I have not seen one man in my life be faithful! Though I love my father who wholeheartedly! I have caught him sneaking out on my mother. I have covered for my brother when he cheated on his girlfriends and his wife twice! If you are that unhappy with sex, your wife, girl, lover or woman get the hell out of their and move the hell on! It is simple to me! You hurt a person more with your lies of indiscretion than simply saying, no matter how emotionally charged it will be. “Listen, I have been tempted more than once to sleep around. Something has to be wrong with us. Maybe we should break up because I don't want you to find out and hurt you in the end.” Too simple I guess. I also cannot say that I have been faithful in my relationships. I have always had a man or men on the side lines. Always a back up, unfortunate and fortunate I haven't done that this time with Donald. Only because I have been so busy getting my life and what I want out of it in line. It has been a struggle. Money wasn't right, contacts and contracts wasn't right. People lying and placing me in precarious situations. It hasn't been easy! I have lost a lot of money and my shirt on many deals. Mismanaged some money, got behind on some bills. However I have maintained my lifestyle. Some don't know the many of nights I have cried and had puffy eyes. The many meals I have missed, and how at times I couldn't even rub two pennies together and was literally broke still running a business!

Now let me be perfectly clear in my flaws. Me having a man on the side doesn't always mean sex for me like it does for others. I go out and date, hang out. Though most of these men are interested in me. I indeed don't make myself to available and I don't send mixed signals. So I am the way that I am for a reason! Though I may not have told Donald all of my angst about men. Which to some may be truly unfair. At the end of the day I just don't want him to feel I think so little of him and our rapport and relationship. I trust myself to be me, I trust myself to tell a lie here and there if I have to. To be human, to be perfected and work towards it, I trust myself to be me. Which is the least that I can say about some people. It was a time I use to feel shamed to let people know I smoked herb to calm me down and put me to sleep. I found it to help me out a lot. I was finishing up work and couldn't stop my mind from reeling and dealing. It was hard to go to sleep and I was taking all these meds to fall asleep. I am not a drinker only sociable. So me smoking a joint, cooking a light meal, reading a book, maybe watching some silly crap on TV and taking a long hot bath put me to sleep. Put me to a sound great restful sleep. I am me, and I can't help but be me. It's too late in the game to change me. Unless, unless that change is indeed for my betterment. Or the betterment of someone else or a situation. Which yes I have done that. However I am quick to get up and just walk away! Which drives as lot of people in my life simply mad! I will cut you off! I may feel a little something at the end of the day for a little while. But once I am done, this woman is done! All bets are off! Could this possibly be a flaw? Maybe, but it works for me! I don't want to be nor live around anything or anyone that causes me angst, pisstivity and worry!

Chad and my father were like two peas in a pod. It seems that Chad had gotten most of our fathers heathen ways than his righteous ways. I on the other hand took after my dad in the sense of being business savvy and a hustler by heart. Even as a child I made money my way. I sold lemonade, had a small block club with the kids in our neighborhood. We sold cookies, paid dues, gave plays and had our parents and other kids pay to come. I was really off the chain! My father was shocked when I decided to deliver newspapers for two years. I wanted to make money by all means necessary! I had even learned how to sew and would make doll clothes for my friends, of course they had to pay for them. We all had some of the sharpest dressing dolls one could imagine. I grew tired of some of the things I did. However it took me awhile with many jobs and side hustles to get my niche in life. I was much older when it happened. But I am so glad that I did.

Anyways, my brother Chad was a low key player of sorts. He really paid attention to how sneaky our father was with his extra marital affairs. My father wasn't and didn't get over on me with this. However my mother placed a blind eye on what my father did and who he did it with. Due in part my mother was a very well kept and taken care of wife. My mother earned three degrees and two certifications in their marriage, and oh yes they are still married! My mother earned an AS, BS and her Masters. As well as she had learned how to do make-up and be certified in that. Two years in school she earned her certification in the IT world. She also started a small bakery business which she still has and maintains to this day. My father gave my mother the world it seemed. When I look back on it, she played him against himself. When she felt there was another woman in his life, that is when she would have the most needs. Her main device was shopping! Or she wanted to redecorate the house! One room at a time! Our home was a show palace! However I didn't respect my mother for never leaving. I couldn't say that she was scared of being alone, nor can I say that she was frightened in making it on her own. But she stayed! The last affair my father had came to light in a major way! The woman said she was pregnant and came over to our house to tell my mother. She stated that my father was leaving my mom to be with her. That my father had purchased her a new car, and was soon to purchase her a new condo. These of course in my opinion were shut the hell up offers and don't tell. While this woman sat and ran everything down to my mother with me ease dropping. My mother was a lady and remained calmed. I saw her excuse herself. Come into the bedroom and call my father and told him he needed to come home immediately there was an emergency that needed to be dealt with and that she was not going to tell him over the phone. My father was there it seems in minutes! When he walked in the door and saw his mistress sitting there, the look on his face was priceless! Yes I did see it. My mother began to run down all of what was told to her. Right then and there she asked my father was it true and what were his plans. She remained so calm that it scared my father! He of course said that he would take care of the baby and that he would be there for the child and broke it off with his mistress. She stormed out of the house never to be heard from again. In the end there was no baby. My mother told my father that if he had another affair she would leave him and get the best lawyer and take him to the bank. My father has not had an extra marital affair sense. They both went to marriage counseling and have been deeper in love ever since. Though at times I feel my father still steps in the cess pool of unfaithful waters. If my mother is happy, well, that is all that matters.

Now getting back to my brother Chad. Chad was not a bad person at all. He worked, always kept a job. Never went to college because he hated school. Unlike me, I loved learning and at one time my parents called me a career student because I was always in school taking up some course. Something that would get me a promotion at my many jobs that I have had in life. Or something that I was just interested in doing or knowing at that time. Chad was trustworthy in certain aspects, he just liked women as my father did. His relationships with women didn't last long because when they found out he was cheating they left. That is until he met his wife. This woman was what I called awesome! Way out of my brothers league! She didn't take no mess and she must of put something fierce and hard on him because my brothers nose was wide open for her. He was faithful to her. After dating for two years he asked her to marry him. She did of course, and it seemed after a year of marriage my brother had decided to cheat on her. Making phone calls to me saying, “I was with you tonight. We hung out, ate, movies, theater, jazz club or whatever.” He was my brother, and blood was thicker than water. I hated lying to my sister in law because I actually felt she was more of a sister to me than a in law. Darla truly was wise and very sharp and talented. My brother had married a overall wonderful woman. However, one night he said he was over my house and didn't tell me. Darla had her suspicions and came over to my loft. Of course Chad was not there. She called Chad from the loft and asked him was he still over at my place. Darla had him on speaker, he replied yes. My mouth dropped, and the surprise that was on my face. My brother was caught! At this point, there was no more lies and games. Darla was hip to everything and Chad was caught red handed. Darla told my brother that when he came home she would not be there. To not call her, and that she would call him when and if she was ready to communicate with him. She further stated that what was good for the goose was indeed good for the gander. With that, she hugged me thanked me and left my home.

I had called my brother soon after and explained what had happened. It was then, again that I realized I really had no real role models to look up to when it came to men being honorable and faithful. I figured that a man was only faithful to his so-called true love when he was really no longer able to be with any other woman. I have seen it time and time again. Men who I thought were faithful and looked up to that were friends of my parents had shown their true colors to me as well. I had a few of my parents friends hit on me and offer me money and assistance with a wink of an eye. How do you flirt and want to date a now young lady or woman that you seen or watched grow up? To where you want to have sex with her? …....

My angst ….. well my angst is my experience...what I have seen and heard and I have not liked. Sometimes I feel that men were not created to be with just one woman. That they were created to have many wives and procreate! This may go over well with men that enjoy doing this. However, I semi somewhat agree with this ideology. Yeah there are some men out there that love and know how to love, give love and be faithful. But I don't want a man that if he feels that I am falling short in some way needs to talk to another woman about me unless it is his mom or sister and they have an open mind. Not some woman that he may be attracted to and she may be attracted to him. This is how cheating gets started. I don't want any other man in my life that is a friend that is attracted to me to give me advice. This is how you get a side piece in your life. This is how women and men get with others unintentionally at first and it starts crucial conflict. If I cheat, I might as well leave! Because as far as I am concerned, we, us are over!

Well, after my sister in law left my brother in agony and pain for three months not calling. He had no idea of where she was staying who she was with and what she was doing! He wasn't allowed to call her job or nothing. When he sent her flowers or any gifts to her job she sent them back! My brother was so depressed and heartbroken! He realized in the three months that Darla was gone that sleeping around and sneaking around with other women was not worth his marriage nor losing Darla. I knew for a fact that Darla was living the single life! I said not a word. In all actuality I had her back! I couldn't help but to, I not once told on Chad. Darla dated, went out with her girls including me and we had a ball together. I had went with her on two weekend get aways and had a blast. I watched as men threw themselves at Darla! Darla could have any man she wanted! Yet she chose my brother. I personally believe a confident, intelligent and successful woman can have any man she wants. Confidence and smarts go along way. Even for a woman that is not that glam type but still takes care of herself, has pride and walks with her head up. I have met many women that were along the lines of just average looking, or not over the top beautiful. You can have a lot of men in your life. However it is getting or finding the quality men to keep! That is the million dollar answer here. I have never in my life had an issue attracting a man. From fat and frumpy, too old and disable to beautiful and model esque type. I have met men that were cocky and all about money, sex, a plethora of women, had high expectations of a woman, complainers, bytch made. Excuse my French! Sorry, cheaters, no job, hood and so on. None of the things I like in a man. Some could say you are what you attract. In some cases this is true. However, I have not ever dated a low life and even though they wink , speak and step to me does not qualify me as a low life! Just like a man wants a woman he can build with, there are many women that want the same! If I want a bed buddy, that is not hard to get in the world. If I want quality that is something that you have to weed out and get the good ones.

After three months went by, Darla finally called my brother. She sat down and had a conversation with him. Asked him for a divorce! I couldn't believe it! She wanted a divorce! However my brother asked for another chance, pleaded and begged as he should have. Of course they are together and have a beautiful family. My brother looks, flirts a little because that is his nature. He and Darla made a pack, that if either felt they were close to cheating. No matter how hard it would be to let go. They would come clean. Well, so far so good! I think.....

At this point in my life, I felt that I needed some counseling. That I had too many issues and too many bad or negative thoughts. I didn't want to bring that out nor let that be an issue in my pending marriage. So I sought counseling and told no one of what I was doing. This was a really big move for me. I was never one to go seek therapy, not that there was anything wrong with that. I just wanted to talk to someone and get wisdom and advice from a person who was not a relative or knew me. This person could be bold and blatantly honest with me. This was a new beginning for Charity!


The house was complete. I have looked over all the small and large details of the wedding. In fact my staff called for a meeting with Donald and I to go over every single detail. They were so good they missed nothing! I am talking about down to the food, caterers, open bar, photographers, venues and the pastor that would preside over our nuptials. Flowers, I mean my staff was wonderful! As they talked and went over details I had noticed that the young lady I had just hired about a month ago was smiling too hard, and giving Donald eyes. At first I thought I was being a bit sensitive and taking it a bit far. But as the presentation had continued it was if this girl had no shame nor did she have any respect! So after all was said and done and we all were having champagne at the end and some hor derves my staff had gotten. I had decided to pull the young lady to the side.

“You do know that Donald is my fiance right? You were being very disrespectful in there? Can you please tell my why?” She looked surprised like I was in the wrong and imagining the wrong thing. Though I will say Donald didn't pay her any attention. Nor did he acknowledge her flirting with him. I could only assume she was too young. For one thing I truly knew about Donald was he liked women, not young little girls. She was in her early twenties.

“Oh no not me Charity, I could and would never do anything like that!” Oh she was playing Miss Innocent!

“Donald! I yelled out so that he could come into my office. As soon as he entered I didn't wait.

Was this young lady flirting with you?”

“Yes she was.”

“Were you flirting back?” Donald gave me a smirk.

“You know little girls don't do anything for me. I was wondering why she was flirting with me. Of course I ignored her. Also figuring she was trying to entrap me. He laughed. I'm just kidding. But yes I could feel her energy that she was flirting.”

“Thanks, could you tell my staff to come in please?” He nodded his head.

“Sure.” Donald walked away shaking his head. He already knew that this girl was a wash and I was going to hand her hat to her along with my staff.

“Hey did you all feel vibes in this meeting that were not professional?” They all looked at each other.

My number one from day one spoke up, August.

“We didn't like her once she was hired. She has been lacking and we figured you would see it eventually. She just started. Why would you flirt and give all this body language to Donald and you know that this is your boss' fiance? Not cool!”

“August would you like to do the honors?”

“Sure, bye and be sure not to use this job as a reference.”
“Could you all please watch her as she gets her things together? We will celebrate your great work after she is gone.” We did just that once her desk was cleared and she left the building. I wasn't one that was too keen on hiring new people. Not that I didn't want to give anyone a chance. However business was picking up and we needed a receptionist and someone to the small admin work in the office. Small task that would help me and my staff out. My staff had been with me since day one! They were paid well, had great incentives and nice commissions from the jobs that came in and they assisted me on. So no way was I about to let anyone come in and cause any disruptions here. So I decided that August would hire the next receptionist and if he liked the new receptionist the second interview would include all of the staff sitting at the round table so to speak and ask he or she questions and get a good feel. Just to see if this person would be a good fit.

On to the next, and the next was speaking with my brother about some things he had fallen short on. The new contractors he had personally hired screwed up a job really bad that set us back a month! Not only that, my brother was slipping on a lot of things lately. I was mentally and emotionally worn out. The wedding date was approaching. I was looking at the last details of my dress, Donald had to deal with his groomsmen and wedding rehearsals and the rehearsal dinner was coming up. I was doing a little something special for the guest that were flying in out of town to the wedding. So I was hitting up some of my connects to make sure that there were small gift baskets of fruit, lotions, body wash, a bottle of wine. For those who didn't drink they would have a bottle of sparkling grape juice. Top of the line chocolates, nice spa robe and slippers. I wanted to do this along with Donald giving his blessing as well. One due in part that no one expected Donald to ever get married. That was a joke within his family. Two, it wasn't that many people coming from both sides of our families to the wedding. It just felt right that they all should be welcomed and feel loved that they were in our midst. Though I found everyone a great deal through my connects on their tickets. Still and all the economy was what it was. Some were less fortunate than others. I wish I had it where I could have flown everyone in that didn't have the money to come. But I had to be smart, I couldn't go into my savings. Besides I was still being a smart girl. Though therapy had been going well for me and I had let go slowly but surely some of my angst in regards to marrying Donald. I for one did not want to be caught off guard. It was for me better to be wise than sorry. Too much in my life had happened for me not to be smart. Love was love and business was business at the end of the day.

I had just finished up with a new client I had snatched up. It was hard to get AMF Corporation to give me the heads up. I had been going back and forth with them for the past six months outbidding and quoting to be the company they would solely use my company for all promotional events they planned, company parties, and all other venues. AMF Corporation was always giving a party, promo event and more. They were always huge and over the top. This meant a lot for me to be able to have them sign a year exclusive contract with me. I was super uber excited about the deal I had just closed. My staff and myself had a small celebration, I ordered a mid day super lunch for us you could say. I gave them the rest of the day off because they were deserving of it. Now I was waiting for my brother Chad to come meet me at the loft. I had managed to take a nice long hot bath first to relax. I wanted to lie in my Cal king bed until he got here. Watch my new 60 inch flat screen that was mounted on the wall. I rarely laid in bed and watched TV. I was always on the run or the move. Donald was suppose to be coming by once I called him after I had spoke to Chad. He needed a break from being over to his parents house. Donald and I were spending time together of course. The funny thing was we weren't making love as much because we were both so tired when we got to see each other. Most times we would lay in my bed in the nude in each others arms and cuddle. Both of us snoring our butts off. We had a lot on our plates. It didn't bother me and it didn't bother Donald. We were handling our business. Making sure things were right and tight before the wedding. We had planned to take a two week honeymoon. I knew that my staff could handle everything while I was away. They were taught and trained well. August was my right hand! He knew me oh too well! He knew what I was thinking when I was thinking it. So he was in charge while I was gone. Anything that needed my attention that he could not handle was to wait until I got back home. However, it was Chad that I was worried about, could he handle Charity and Chad Properties while I was away effectively? Something was up. Chad was not one to keep things to himself when he was going through it. But something had changed, something was going on and maybe he didn't want to talk about it because he didn't want to dampen my mood before my impending nuptials. I don't know, at this point I was truly grabbing for straws! I was ready to get to what the problem was, see and spend this weekend with my fiance. Catch up, not talk about anything work related at all. Not even the wedding. Well maybe a little bit, and just relax. Order in take out, catch a movie, go dancing and simply just lay up and for me that means a lot! No dressing up and putting on any clown make-up. If I felt like lying around and walking around in just a T-shirt then that is what it is. Cooking for my fiance and whatever we felt like. This was a a full three day weekend and she was looking forward to that!

My brother had buzzed my intercom. I jumped up out from my bed. I looked at the time. He was over thirty minutes late. I hadn't realized I had drifted off to sleep. When I looked at my phone I saw that Donald had called me twice. I text him and told him I had feel off to sleep and that Chad had just got to the loft. When he left I would text him. I hit the intercom button, it was Chad, so I buzzed him in. I was feeling a bit disrespected because when I looked at my phone there was no text nor a phone call that he would be running late. Chad knew my living space was upstairs, so he knew to come upstairs through the office. I had walked into the kitchen to get me a glass of water, I was dehydrated. I heard Chad walking in through the living area.

“I'm in the kitchen. You want something to drink or eat?” Chad walked in and sat at the counter on one of the bar stools.

“Naw I'm good.”

“Well let's get to it. What seems to be the problem? Because clearly there is one. You have been slipping up big time and we are over budget and behind.” Chad leaned his head down and took both of his hands and took them from the base of the back of his head to the front of his face and down to his neck. Oh oh! This was going to be a big mess I could feel it!

“Darla and I are separated.” My mouth fell open and my eyes bugged out. A look of confusion was all over my face.

“What? Separated? I am so lost when did all of this happen? How did it happen? Why did it happen?” I sat my glass on the counter and looked right into my brothers eyes. I didn't see this one coming.

“I fukd up big time...and Darla is over it. I don't blame her either, if I was in her shoes I would have done the same thing. The kids are away at summer camp for a week. When they get back they will be going to spend a month with her parents and coming back home. When they get back they will spend some time with me and back off to Darla.” Was I hearing this correctly?

“How long have you two been separated?”
“For three months now.”

“Three months?! And you are just telling me all of this?”

“Well I thought it would.... I would work it all out. I didn't want to uproot the kids so I told Darla to stay in the house. I've been renting a one bedroom furnished apartment not far from the house. It's been hard, I mean us acting for the children. We have dinner together. I put them to bed, and then I leave to go home. Darla had put on a good face for the children but I know she hates the ground I walk on.”

“Dude! What in the hell did you do?”

“I gambled away our life savings. You remember the heavy rains we had a few months back? I nodded my head yes. Well it caused some serious damage to the house. I told Darla that I would send some contractors over to the house to look it over and get an estimate. In fact I told her I would send two over. The damage had caused some mildew issues. Darla was scared that the children would get sick so she went ahead and hired a contractor to start work immediately. I was okay with it. What I had totally forgotten was how we would pay it. It never dawned on me that she would go to the life savings and get the down payment. But she did, when she found out the account was closed she hit the roof! I told her what happened and it went downhill from there.”

“Gamble? What do you mean gamble?”

“That trip I took to Vegas about six months ago, well I was being a show off and rented a penthouse. I was showing off. I said to myself that I would replace the money. I meant it. Charity and Chad Properties has been doing good, above more than what I thought. I mean once we got totally acclimated with everything. The money got good. Too good in fact that I was spending it foolishly and not replacing the money back into the savings. You already know, I had upgraded the house. Darla didn't want to move she loved our house and so did I. So we expanded the master and bathroom on suite. The family room, opened up the kitchen and updated it. Why was my brother saying all of this about what he has done to the house? I know all of this info. He is stalling, there has to be more to it than what he is telling me. I can feel it. After doing all of the updates and refurbishing the house I simply got caught up and didn't replace the money.” I gave my brother a look.

“Chad how much money?” Chad looked to the left of him out towards the patio balcony. Like the answer was there.

“60,000 dollars.” He whispered.

“60,000 dollars!! Chad!! How in the hell do you go to Vegas and lose 60,000?!! No way! You are not even a gambler! What made you lose you and your wife's life savings like that? Darla and you have worked hard to build that money up! I know for a fact you have! Wasn't some of that money in the savings Darla had gotten from her inheritance when her Uncle died? Chad nodded his head yes. Damn Chad! I can't believe you! Her Uncle, her favorite Uncle left her 35,000 dollars. So most of it...”

“I know I know. I was drunk, I had a winning streak for an hour or so . Kept going. I was betting two thousand, three thousand and before you know it...the money was gone.”

“Why would you take the money out of the savings account anyways to go to Vegas?”

“You know Charles and Mike are movers and shakers. I don't have the money they have.” I didn't have no empathy nor sympathy for my brother.

“So, that doesn't mean that you try and live nor be like them. I can't believe you! I would have left your azz too Chad! Her Uncle was far from rich! That man worked for every penny he left her! That was his life savings Chad!”

You are not helping Charity.”

“If you expecting me to have sympathy for you then you are wrong. Wrong is wrong and right is right Chad. I took a deep breath. So what are you going to do?”

“Well over the past three months from the sales of the houses I have managed to give her back 10,000 dollars. I told her I would make sure I give her all of the money back.”

“What about the monies she has saved that weren't apart of the inheritance Chad?”

“I'm going to pay restitution on that too. I just been under so much pressure and strain. Depressed that I am not in the house. Now I am paying rent somewhere else and making it even harder on myself. I wake up early and go over to the house so I can see the kids in the morning. Acting like nothing is wrong. It just all has been weighing me down. Mom and dad don't know, Darla family don't know. So if you could just keep this to yourself I would appreciate that very much. I know I have slipped up and messed up. I promise to get better. I just gotta focus Charity.”

“I want to leave here for two weeks on my honeymoon knowing that you will make the right decisions and stay on top of things and not cost us unnecessary money.”

“I got it, I will have to. I need this money to be right and pay Darla back. I want my wife, I want my family back.”

“You want to take a break on things while I'm gone and just focus only on what it and what will be happening when I leave? You know in progress. That would be better. Just hold on anything new until I get back. I will keep this between you and I. But for some reason I feel it is more than that. So come on clean with it. Better now than later.” My brother looked away. Yeah, I was right. From the feeling of it. I knew what it was already. The alter boy had turned back and got himself in a mess. It was quiet for awhile.

“I didn't go to Vegas just with the guys. I took someone with me. He inhaled again. Let it out. Rubbed his forehead. She is four months pregnant. We have been seeing each other for the past six months. She is not getting an abortion. Honestly some of the money I took out of the savings I gave to her. I didn't gamble it all away. She threatened that she would tell Darla. So it was a bit of hush money. I gave her 10,000 dollars. Every time I get a hold of some money I am not only paying my rent and the mortgage. I am paying her rent, car note and insurance.” I was done! I was over it, pissed off and livid!

“Why the fuk can you not keep your damn penis in your fukn pants man?!! I am so messed up in the head now! Watching you and daddy!!! All these men who I thought were faithful and loyal cheating on their wives! Living a facade! I am in therapy now! My brother looked up at me! Yeah therapy Chad! Because I don't trust no man to be with just me! Like I am not enough! You know what my ex did. Some of the boyfriends I have had before him. Catching men in lies and all this deceitful treachery! If you don't want to be with just me say so! You promised!! You …...I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth. You said that you and Darla made a pack that if you ever felt you would cheat you would tell the other and leave! What happened to that?! My brother was about to answer but I kept on talking. Do you know it's me that has been pushing this wedding back? Let me do this, let me accomplish that, let me finish up this course. Stalling because I know the man I am marrying. Now here you go and get with some gold-digger fronting in front of your friends because you have a little money in your pocket! How could you not use protection?!! Now she is pregnant! You might as well go on and leave Darla now! It is a wrap! Fuk your family!! Because you already did!!! I was so disappointed and hurt by my brothers actions. I do everything in life not to use profane language! I simply detest it like a sickness. But the words just came out! …..I took a deep breath. What is done in the dark always comes to light sooner or later Chad. How long you thing this gold digging floozy is going to put up with you being with Darla? Huh? Not seeing you, not spending time with her, not spending time with her and the baby you made together? Huh? She is going to want more from you Chad. More time, more money, more of you. Better life and situation. She is always going to have some form of insecurity in regards to your already family. She already knows she was nothing but sex, or as they call it a side piece. This is what gets all these athletes and celebrities caught up! They have and make babies on the side that half of them don't even spend time with! Most of these women know that they will not have these men on their arm. That they were used so they entrap these men! I've seen it, you have seen it, we all have seen it! How could you sleep with some random without a condom and not think for a second what you could be bringing home to your wife?!!” I was shaking my head mumbling the words selfish. My brother was crying. His tears didn't move me one bit! He empties the savings account, lies to me, then tells a portion of the truth then tells the full truth! I was ashamed of my brothers actions and started feeling hurt and pain for Darla and my niece and nephew. I loved them dearly! Now he was breaking my family apart!

“I know....he whispered. You are right...I might as well get a divorce because after all of this comes to the light. Darla is not having me in hers.” My brother got up from the bar stool and walked out of the kitchen. Shortly I heard my front door close on the first floor. I was devastated. That is putting it lightly.

The weekend I had with Donald I masked my emotions and feelings. I made myself enjoy the time we were spending together. This was my brothers problems and issues. I had issues and problems of my own. I had a wedding, two business', a fiance, counseling and more on my plate. With the news I just heard from my brother it put me back in a dark place with men and it shouldn't have. So now here I was fighting that! Negative feelings. Past, thoughts and more. I was now completely over it. I was second guessing marrying Donald!

I felt like it was “rabbit season” like from the crazy Looney Tunes cartoons. But instead of rabbit season it was cheating season! Skeletons were coming out of the closet it seemed out of nowhere! A lot of these were skeletons I didn't expect either. One of them was from my sister-in law Darla!

Darla called me one day and asked me out to lunch. I agreed, I had missed seeing her anyway. We normally get together through the week here and there. You know do a girls night out date, dinner and a movie or lunch. When I wasn't too busy we would hook up at some mall or boutique we had been wanting to shop at. As I said before, Darla was the sister I never had and always wanted. Darla always had great wisdom, advice and she was great to talk with. She loved me and I loved her. We kept our relationship tight and though at times it was hard. She kept her business with my brother out of our relationship. There were a few times here and there she vented. I didn't mind, I just didn't want to be in a place where I was taking sides. After all this time I still don't think she knows that I was covering for Chad at times he was out cheating and using me as his “excuse”. I still feel and hold guilt in my heart. Then again maybe Darla does know. She is far from a dumb nor naive woman!

I had my Tablet with me and my wifi hotspot. I had got to the bistro before Darla did. I was just answering my emails. Sending emails out, PDF contracts and looking over some income properties. Charity & Chad Properties now had four rental houses, two apartment complexes. One of the apartment buildings had twenty apartments in all. The other was much larger and a much bigger headache. It housed two hundred apartments. However this is why we had property managers and assistant managers working at a small office we rented out that handled the rental properties. I was looking to add some duplexes. The next big step was commercial buildings. Nothing big, but a small commercial building in a nice high end area where we could lease out the offices. Put the clients on a six month lease or a year. I wanted to invest in my retirement. I didn't want to do 401k's the markets and banks were failing in those areas. I would be damned if if I went to cash one of my 401's in and I was told you can't have your money! I would be livid and seriously want to burn down the bank! Knowing they would put me under the prison because I am not a good criminal! I would be doing it right there and getting caught! I would now be living under the federal prison!

This is why I needed a vacation from it all. I didn't want to be all work and no play. There were times that I was keeping late hours and doing a lot of research and major paperwork, looking over documents and contracts. Making sure as many loose ends were taking care of. That things stayed on track as much as possible. The real estate was still an iffy game. For me investing in rental realty was important. People needed a place to live, and most could not afford to buy a house. Most if the houses we purchased were on foreclosure and some in pre-foreclosure in well to do areas. Some of these houses had even been abandoned. You would be surprised that some of the home owners actually took the chandeliers out the house, appliances, pulled up carpet and more. They were hurt that they were losing their home. Some even damaged the home. Which was quite okay with me because we got it at a cheap price from the bank. Some of the programs I had gotten the company involved in help pay us to fix up some of these properties. HUD housing. Of course there were some homes that we purchased that were in middle class living areas. If there were still areas in the world that even recognized middle class. It was like either you were rich, wealthy or poor. Unfortunately there were a lot of people living from check to check and some had two families living in one home just to make ends meet. I understood that. I can recall living from paycheck to paycheck. I recall when my business was doing well, and at times to pay my overhead and employees I came home with barely enough to pay mu own bills and eat. I was grateful that their were corporations. Record companies and the rich and wealthy that could afford my event planning services. One would be surprised at the money that was spent to rent out a club or venue, hall or hotel to throw an over the top party or event. The events that I loved giving were the ones that brought out thousands of people. Though I had to deal with a lot of different promoters and sponsors and that at times was a headache. At the end of the day that check was what I worked hard for!

I looked up and saw Darla walk in, she was all smiles and happy! I thought maybe she would walk in all somber, but she was actually smiling from ear to ear!

I stood up and we embraced each other tightly as we always do when we see each other and when we depart from each other. She pulled out a chair across from me. I started shutting down my windows and work I had open and then shut off my hotspot.

“You look amazing!” I stated.

“I feel amazing! I got a promotion at my job! I clapped my hands like a giddy school girl all smiles. A much deserved one. I had applied for a better paying job in another department. Once word got around that I had done so one of the VP's of my department which houses over a hundred people got wind of it. He pulled me in his office and gave me an offer I could not refuse!”

“I am so happy for you!”

“Lady if I would have left they would have been lost. The job I was applying for was in a whole other office. So I am happy about that. I just left the spa from getting a facial and massage and I feel like I weight has been lifted! About ten pounds I am so light on my feet. I have been so stressed out with so much that I have been dealing with. Oh oh here we go. So I wanted to talk to you and let you hear some things from my mouth and not get anything second party.”

“Okay, what's up? I am all ears.” Darla took a deep breath, the waiter came to our table and Darla put in an order for a lemonade and calamari appetizer. I got a refill on my lemonade.

“I am filing for a divorce. I love Chad, but I have not been in love with him for a long time now. I don't think Chad is in love with me either, that is not the way he once was. It's like we have grown apart.”

“How can you say that? I know for a fact Chad loves you Darla.” Darla gave me a smirk. Rolled her eyes. Just then the waiter came back with our lemonade and told us that he our calamari would be coming up soon.

“Charity, Chad has done some things that have pulled my wig back. He took the money that We had saved along with my inheritance money and said he blew it all in Vegas. Chad has been lying and doing a lot of sneaky stuff lately that has had my antenna up. The last time this happened I caught him cheating. I am far from a fool. I of course being me dug up a few things and know for a fact that Chad has another woman across town somewhere and I hear she is expecting.” Darla was so calm telling me all of this. Something was up.”

“Are you serious? I was acting surprised, mouth open, eyes bugged out and the whole nine. Like I didn't know about it.

“Chad has another woman pregnant?!” She nodded her head.
“You know Charles his so-called best friend spilled the tea. Charles deep down hates your brother. He plays like they are best friends. But any and every chance Charles gets he comes and tells me all the dirt on Chad. I was very surprised to hear that one! Charles and my brother grew up together! They were thick as thieves! I never would have thought for one moment that Charles disliked my brother! This was news to me! News that I was bothered to hear because Charles had us all fooled. Charles has wanted me for years. Any opportunity he has to throw Chad under the bus he will. Since Chad is his best friend, and he knows all his moves he comes and tells me.”

“Wow!!!... I am speechless.” I mean this is some real news to me.”
“He told me all about the trip to Vegas. I knew about the money that Chad had spent. Money at first that I thought was his. I knew about the other woman, or young girl I should say.”

“Really??” I gave a surprise look. Darla waved her hand in the air.

“Yes! Charles told me about the car, the condo, the money he gave her. 10,000 dollars of the money that we saved up. My money, his money.”

“How are you so calm? I mean, you are always calm when you come talk to me about Chad.” I was so confused and in a quandary.

“Before I met you and your brother....about three years before I was a serious piece of work! I was dating this guy, we had been together for three years. Three long years it seemed. We had the most hellish relationship you could imagine. Our love was crazy. I mean crazy! We hated each other, we loved each other. When we had sex or what we thought back then was making love. It was so passionate and so deep and good! This of course was after a fight an argument. He was jealous and insecure and so was I. He cheated, I cheated, we both lied to each other all the time. My mother and father hated him so much and had forbidden him to come to the house. I was in my last year of college, or going to the university. I had moved back home with my parents my last year of getting my Masters. I wanted to save up my money, work and get my own place along with furniture of course. When my mom and dad sat me down in our family room and said they no longer wanted Romeo to come over to our house because they didn't like how he treated me. I went off and immediately called him and moved in with him. It was the worse thing I could have ever done! We yelled, argued and had sex all the time. We got put out of his apartment because we were disturbing the peace! She took a deep breath. After I had finally got some sense and left him. I got my own place and realized no man was ever worth fighting over and acting a fool over ever again. If a man cheated, lied did me dirty all I had to do was simply just leave. I promised myself I would never let another man get the best of me.”

“So you don't ever get hurt or angry?”

“Of course I do! I find a place to drop the children off to. I cry, I yell, I act out. I throw a big huge pity party! When I am done I go stupid dumb shopping. I work out, I spoil myself all in the same damn day! Then I make plans to make some moves. Charles told me that Dana was at Vegas with Chad.” Dang, she knew her name and Chad had never told me!

“Wow! I don't think I could sit here and be so calm.”

“No man is worth it. I have my ways of getting back and have gotten back at Chad.”

“I wouldn't be mad at all.”

“I know you wouldn't.”

“I don't take up for Chad when he is in the wrong.”

“That is why I love you. I have done some wrong things to just to hurt him. He said he wouldn't cheat on me, we both said it. But look to where it came to. I am not blaming you of course. First and foremost having your brother join you as partner with the real estate business helped him lift his self esteem. He loved the money he started making and the business side of it. I never seen him so excited to get to work. However it brought out a monster. Chad making money and spending money like pouring water out of a cup. Him acting like he was in the same category as his friends. His friends were born into money, you and I both know that. Anything those boys wanted they got! The best education, cars, clothes whatever! They had seed money to start their business' and people in their lives to make sure that their business thrived and survived. One thing you and I both know about your brother is that he always hung around those who had more than he had so that he could look good. It is not to say that Chad isn't smart or anything like that. But Charity compared to you and his best friends, or so-called best friend in Charles. You three have the spark and drive.”

“So when are you going to tell Chad?”

“When he gives me the rest of my inheritance money. I put in 15,000 of my own money in that savings. So he at least owes me that. We can have joint custody of the children. I of course want to keep the house. Let him move in with his girlfriend Dana.”

“I don't get Chad! You are beautiful, witty, brainy, sexy, great mom, cook, you look after him. I don't get it...” Darla reached over and touched my hand.

“A man could and can have everything he wants in a woman Charity. Everything, sometimes there is no reason. Then there are times the reason or excuse can be a handful of small things or large things. But to me there all excuses. One doesn't need to stay where he is unhappy. I have seen men cheat on a woman who was their everything. It was simply just lust! That is all it is. Weakness, doesn't mean that Chad or any other man who loves their wife stops. How dare she though sleep around right? Men are territorial. But when a woman acts a damn fool over his cheating ways. He kicks it to the side as if it meant nothing and how dare she get loud and hurt!”

“I hope this doesn't change our relationship.”

“I love you Charity, you have never done anything to me....I was hurt, very hurt! I had to send the children away. I mean really away! Summer camp, then off to my parents. I think when they get back I will be with them for a week and leave them with Chad to deal with and take a vacation. I need it. I have some vacation time. I asked my boss already. Before I throw myself into this new job, promotion and all. Take two weeks off, go to Italy, the south of France. Maybe lay out on a beach somewhere. Maybe do both. Charles is going to go with me, in fact he is paying for it.” My eyes bugged out, mouth fell to the floor, heart raced. Yeap, I have been sleeping with Charles for the past two months and gassing him up for every single dime I can get from him. He is magnificent in bed, a great kisser the whole nine. After we go on this trip I am dumping him. He ain't shyt.....don't look at me like that! I am so mad at your brother it was the only thing I could do and think of to get back at him and hurt him worse than he has hurt me. When I leave here I will be meeting Charles at the Mercedes dealership. He is buying me a brand new hardtop convertible.”

“I can't believe what I am hearing....I am in shock in fact! brother...a baby on the way... Charles betraying my brother and you....I would never think you would stoop so low to sleep with his friend!” Darla looked me directly in my eyes.

“Hurt and anger will make you do some stupid things. Things you regret, and things you can do time over. If I was the person that I was over a decade ago before I met Chad. I would have killed your brother for what he has done to me. My money? He only had a little over 10,000 dollars in the bank. Not that much to buy this girl a car, give her 10,000 to keep her quiet. He has been paying her bills, bought a car! She is pregnant and being very well taken care of! Come on Charity! I am not saying what I am doing is right and by no means am I justifying myself or giving excuses. It was the first thing that came to mind. Charles has been on me for years. I never said anything to Chad because Chad worships the ground of these boys. He probably would have said that Charles was just playing!”

“You are probably right there. I can recall many of times that Chad has gotten in trouble for his boys. How he took the heat of a lot that they did just so he could stay in their good graces” I shook my head. Shaking my head at Chad, Charles and Darla. I was in complete disgust and awe. This was some reality scripted TV soap opera BS!

“You know I am. Look, I knew what Charles was doing. I know what Charles wanted. Charles thinks we will get married after I leave Chad, I am going to get the ring, the money, the shopping sprees, cars and anything else I can. I could never be with a man that would be disloyal to his friend over a woman. Nope, I am going to use him like he is using me. I will break it off for obvious reasons. Like, I can't do this, his family, my family, the children, my guilt, fake tears. Of course making sure everything is fully and wholly in my name. I am not giving the ring back either. I told him let's just call it a promise ring for now. I had him put that in writing, that if we broke up I could keep all gifts.”

“He did that?!”

“Of course he did! He is an idiot! Listen, I have met men like Charles before. It is so sad. Just like there are women out here that claim to be your best of best friend and will sleep with your husband or lover in a second if given the opportunity. It works on both sides. When I first met Charles, I knew he was a scoundrel in the worse way Charity. That his pure insolence and narcissism ram deep. Unlike Mike, Charles does not care who he walks over nor hurt to get what he wants, He is ruthless. And he uses his money to get any and every job done. At the end of the day, what real woman. Not any woman. But real woman would want a man like that? A man that would place not only him but her in precarious situations?” I nodded my head.

“The power of a woman.”

“The power of a woman and a greedy man.” I was still in awe and super blown back at what I had learned. I didn't want to judge, but this was absolutely crazy and I needed to stay clear and focus on me.

I sat there and listened to Darla tell me all the fowl things she was doing to Charles. All the things that my brother had done and was thinking he was getting away with. My brother missed out on telling me a lot. Maybe because I was so angry with him. I don't know. My brother had been cheating with strippers, throwing major money away trying to play keep up with the Jones'. I couldn't believe it! I knew right then and there that something had to give, Chad was losing his mind and he was not going to take Charity & Chad Properties in the hole with him! My brother was not going to use me, the company , my money or anything that had my name attached to it to so that he can look a certain way in front of his friends, girlfriend and whoever else. I was putting a stop to this immediately!

Just as I was disappointed with Chad I was very disappointed in Darla. At the beginning and end of the day I truly expected more of her and from her. Not for her as a woman, wife and mother or professional woman to lay on the ground this low and expose herself in a very whorish and negative light. Yes I am judging, but Darla is always and has been a class act from the moment I met her. I don't know if I was in here shoes would I do the same. Would I go and screw my husbands best friend after he stole my money? Cheated and got a young girl pregnant? I don't know. It is very hard to say. I was just looking at it from the outside and all of the drama that is going to ensue later down the line. I am sure that some way some how Chad would find out about Charles and Darla! I had now become the secret crypt keeper. Not a good place for me to be in. Here it was four weeks from me wedding date and I was trying to put everything in perspective not hear about others issues and place them in my perspective! However, coming from my perspective or any others persons perspective who knew both sides of what was going on. This was a catastrophe, mayhem and madness on a slippery sliding slope to hell!


One week before my wedding. I was getting more and more nervous. I was glad though that Darla hadn't asked for the divorce or told Chad what she was doing and who she was doing it with. Darla had gone on her trip with Charles to the south of France for a week. Then it was off to Cancun for another week. She was in my wedding so she would be back two days before my wedding day. Chad was so discombobulated lately he didn't know have anything to say. Nor did he notice that Charles was gone too. I knew that it all would be so awkward! Having Chad and Darla in my wedding knowing their truths and secrets. Charles at the wedding grinning like a damn Cheshire cat! Ugh....

I had a long talk with Chad. I was honest, I told him I didn't trust him over any money. I took his debit and credit cards that he had under the company name and attached to the bank accounts. We went to the bank together and took his name off of the accounts. Chad could only deposit money. He couldn't withdraw any money. I had also managed to stop production on a few jobs until I came back from my honeymoon. Chad was hurt by what I did, but I didn't care. If he took money from out of his savings, took his wife's money to give to some young girl. Then you didn't care nor love me either. They say blood is thicker than water. But how Chad had been acting, lying, ducking and dodging lately I don't think so! I asked him also to wait on telling mom and dad about this baby until he got a blood test. I found out that you can have a paternity test when the baby is still inside of the mothers womb. I told Chad this, he jumped on it right away. This would give him some ease and if he was the father of course do the right thing by his child. If he was not the father he could kick this girl out and take back everything he had gave her. Well the car and the condo anyway. He didn't know Darla knew nor did he know Darla was screwing his best friend. Or should I say he was screwing her! I was glad that I never dated any of my brothers friends. For one they were shady and manipulative liars. Donald was a friend of Chads but not close to Chad like Charles and Mike were. Charles, Chad and Mike were like the three musketeers. They also took the fall for each other back in the day when they were much younger. I began to wonder if Mike knew about all this shadiness that was going on between Darla and Charles. Charles wanted me so bad back in the day! Man every chance he got to talk to me alone he jumped on me! Chad told me to leave him alone and don't get involved with Charles, or Mike for that manner.. However, Mike turned out to be better than all of them in my opinion. Though Mike got married he not once cheated on his wife. Mike is a widow. He lost his wife in a car accident five years ago and has been playing the field dating here and there. Focusing on his money. He and his wife never had kids. So he could act and go do whatever he wanted. On the other hand, Charles had a son from his first marriage that ended in divorce. Charles liked women, and his wife caught him. It seemed he wanted to get caught. Charles did the stupidest stuff to set his own self up. I have no idea of why he acted nor did what he did. I don't know what his wife did for him to want to treat her in that manner. However he made her look like a complete idiot. Charles flirted with women right in front of her! My skin crawled for her. Darla never once seen these actions, I did more than enough. But when Darla told me that he flirted with her, I had no reason not to believe her. For Charles to go out of his way and do for her like he was. His nose was wide open for her. She knew it, and she knew what type of man he was. The behavior that Charles was projecting was really not new to me. Charles would dog his own mother out and put her on the line if he had to. He had no shame about anything it seemed. I saw it, I envisioned the huge catastrophe that would evolve from its shameless backstabbing drama. I was being selfish! I wanted one day and two weeks to myself! That was it and that was all!

Chad had called me and told me that Dana was offended that he had questioned rather that was his baby or not. She refused to take the paternity test. Said that she was going to go and tell Darla. He said he told her go ahead. That she would be cut off once she told Darla and that she was not going to get another dime from him until she did so. With that being said she let the test be we are forty-eight hours later and the you are the baby father! I was hoping that Dana was some whorish floozy! I will admit it! Will not tell a lie! I believe that Chad was thinking the same way. Again, I told him please wait with all this drama after I leave. I deserve my day and not for our parents to be all stressed out. Chad told me that Dana had the audacity to ask if she could come to the wedding! Why me Lord? Why me?......

My assistants, myself and Donald were all were around tying up loose ends. It seemed as if I was so caught up in other peoples mess, some that included me. I had taken my eye off the prize which was the man that soon would be my husband. I now was just focused on my wedding day which was tomorrow. Donald and I decided to hit the day spa up together to relax, relate and release. He was getting his facial, massage, mani and pedi and so was I! I was also getting waxed and bejeweled down there! Yessssss! I heard about it and wanted to try it! Why not? I was up early in the morning to get my hair done and make-up. Donald was also having his barber come in and groom himself and his groomsmen too. We were all going to be on serious point tomorrow! I guess you could say our glam squads were on point for tomorrow. After we finished up at the spa. We were off to have a early romantic celebratory dinner. Just us relaxing. We had the rehearsal dinner last night. I didn't want to break the tradition of having the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding. But I did, I wanted to be a bit different. All of the family and friends that were attending had gotten safely here. We asked that they get here on Thursday morning. That way they could all chill back from their flight. Our wedding party was huge! I mean there were ten groomsmen and bridesmaids. Of course not including the maid and matron of honor! Three flower girls, two ring bearers this was an over the top wedding. We also didn't want the wedding to take all day either so the flower girls, ring bearers and our bride and groom parties were to walk out back to back and from each other.

Though some say that it is bad luck to see the groom or bride before the wedding. We didn't feel that way at all. We needed a relaxing intimate moment with each other. Donald and I were looking forward to our future together. Moving into our new home and living the life that we had dreamed of. I was honestly a bit scared. I felt the reason again why we were so good with one another because we didn't spend that much time together. What would change now that we were actually living together. Yeah I knew and Donald knew some of my pet peeves. How hard we both worked and at times stayed gone and pushed ourselves. Would that really work now? I mean it would be so different now and that petrified me to an extent. Could I, would I be a good wife? I must say that my mother was a good wife. In retrospect of getting up early in the mornings and making breakfast for the family. There was not a day my mother didn't have breakfast cooked. Unless she wasn't feeling well. If she wasn't my father picked up and made us breakfast. Dinner was made in the evening. We had snacks, lunches in the summer. Our house was always spic and span. She did the shopping in all aspects of school home and groceries. Doctor appointments, wiped our tears, encouraged us and helped with homework. She was a nurturing person all around. She gave me and my brother a wonderful example and she still does. However I have been married to school, work and so much more. Relationships came and went in my life. I felt I gave my best. In some cases I could have done much better. But now this was a horse of a different color. I had to make time for Donald. I had to be sure to do my wifely duties and be about forward moving in my career.

My suite was buzzing with laughter and chatter. I was sitting in a chair getting my hair done and sipping on champagne. Not enough to have me drunk. Just enough to ease the nervousness inside of me. My mother and bridal party were all a glow looking fantastic. My assistants were making sure my dress, shoes and whatever else needed to be done was done. They were my wedding planners. Checking on this that and the third! I was so happy to have them doing what they did best. I had no worries in that area. If anything went wrong or haywire I told them I didn't want to know, just handle it. I had my phone on my lap and Donald and I were texting each other back and forth. He was excited and nervous as I was. We joked, made each other laughed. Talked about our life and how we met and dated and how we got here. Marriage, who would of thunk it?

As my make up was being finished up. My dress was waiting for me. The bridal party was now out of the suite and has headed down to the hall so they could walk down the aisle along with the flower girls and ring bearers. This was it. I looked at my make up and hair and was very pleased. I looked like a queen and princess glam goddess all in one. My photographer was in the room taking pictures the whole time I was getting dressed and all the behind the scenes. There was a photographer in Donald's suite too doing the same. Donald and I opted out on having a wild bachelor and bachelorette parties. We all partied and had fun together. This is what he wanted. I had my bridal shower a week ago. The turn out was more than what I had expected. I had a ball too. I was overwhelmed by all the love and many people that had shown up with all these extravagant and beautiful gifts. Some that were funny, too sexy and over the top expensive. My staff did an amazing job again. It was a beautiful luncheon outside under a big white tent at George Massive Park! The day could not have been prettier and the weather was wonderful! A nice sunny breezy day! Sunflowers, lilies, white and yellow daises. I was so touched I cried. My bridal party had on their cute matching bridal sundresses. I tear up now relishing in the moment.

I didn't want any of my behind the scene photos to be color, neither did Donald. Seemed like black and white had more depth, power and spoke volumes than color. Funny how we got bored and tired of black and white and when technicolor came out it was the new rave. Now we go back to it for nostalgia and glamor.

I stood at the closed doors with my arm wrapped inside of my fathers arm. Heart beating like mad crazy. My father looked over at me smiling. We said nothing. I smiled back. A tear fell from his eye. I quickly wiped it. When I saw it my eyes had began to burn. Holding back tears I didn't want to escape and ruin my make-up! Just in case I had a beautiful lace handkerchief in my bosom. I quickly reached down and got it and dabbed my eyes. I took a deep breath, well as deep as I could. I had on a corset wedding dressed that looked like I was wearing nothing but diamonds. I am talking most of the dress until you got to my hips was bejeweled and bedazzled. Once it hit my hips it was nothing but white shear lace. Layers of it that gave me a six foot long veil that was also bejeweled and bedazzled with the swarovski crystals! This dress was heavy and had to weigh a good ten to fifteen pounds! But I had to have it! I knew that Donald would simply love it! It hugged every curve I had and made extra curves! Donald always kissed my shoulders and shoulder blades telling me that I had the softest and prettiest shoulders. That he had never noticed that on a woman until he met me. So I accentuated that for him. My back was out slightly lower than normal in a corset dress. My shoes were to die for. I was so happy that when I had taken this dress off I had a beautiful over the top glamorous dress waiting for me at the reception. I was going to have our first dance in my dress and after sneak off and change. All of my jewelry was given to me, well not to keep. But just to use for my day. The shoes were gifted to me! Since I was shoe fiend! These shoes were going to be worn many more times! These four and a half inch heels could have walked down the aisle by themselves they were so hot! Silver Cinderella shoes encrusted with rhinestones! To die for!

I didn't know what the hall looked like, everything that my staff had prepared I would be seeing for the very first time! So when they swung the doors open....I was in awe!!!!!!! Oh my God! It was breathless! Black and white pure elegance!! Over the top classy! More white of course than black. The black was the accents of course! I walked over black silk rose pedals the flower girls left. My red carpet if you will was white silk. I didn't want to walk on it. It was all lit up by black and white candles all over the place. It also smelled heavenly, they out did themselves up in here! Everyone standing as my father and I walked down the aisle. I had to walk slowly because I was in high heels and had an extra fifteen pounds weighing on me. I saw our wedding party smiling and staring. I saw Donald smiling and tears falling from his eyes un-shamelessly. My heart fell in the pit of my stomach. The butterflies and nerves had gone away now. It was just butterflies of joy and excitement! There was joy and good tears. Happy tears! I thought of this time, this moment, I relished in and bathed in it! Nothing else mattered! I saw how incredibly beautiful, handsome and sexy my soon to be husband was. Which he was always handsome and sexy. He just had this overwhelmingly sex appeal right now! He looked good in that suit though! I laughed to myself. When I made it to the altar. I took my handkerchief out of my breast and dabbed his tears from his face and cheeks. That got an ohhhh from the crowd. He took it from me and softly dabbed my tears away. Preserving my make up. The photographers caught this moment!

After looking into each others eyes and mouthing the words I love you to one another, again trying to keep from balling. We recited our own vows that we had written for each other. We were pronounced man and wife. The kiss that Donald and I shared was not long but nice and electrifying and had touched my soul. I was now married! I was Mrs. Charity Paris Colton-Fairburn! White and black rose pedals along with glittered confetti were thrown at us as we walked down the aisle as Mr. and Mrs. Fairburn!

We all took pictures here and there. There and here. Over there, over here. Under this, over that! I was dizzy with all the photos we were taking with just us, our family, our wedding party. But I was loving every moment of it! I felt like some super model! When we were done and made it inside the reception area I was gone again. Chandeliers, there were no words for the look and feel. White and black china, white and black roses, lilies, silk tablecloths.....white and black silk rose pedals covered the floors. White and black candles on the tables. Opulence, pure opulence! The gifting table for all of our guest, the cupcake table, all of it so tastefully done! My staff had put together an elegant chocolate candy bar completed with clear wrapping paper and a black small to medium box with a white ribbon. There small black and white souvenirs with a pic of Donald and I along with faux wedding rings. It was so nice! So beautiful! The tables ,everything was set up were done elegant with white silk and satin tablecloths, candles, white and black pearls, white and black rose pedals! The scented candles and aromatherapy was dreamy! I could tell that Donald was more than pleased!

Our first dance was to an Anita Baker mix Angel, No One In the World and more. I loved Anita Baker and Donald loved Sade. So he did it up very well due in part that these two songstress' had eccentric beats and voices. After we danced, I snuck away and so did Donald and we changed into our reception clothing which was just as elegant if not more than what we said our vows in. It was now time to have a ball and party! And that is what we did. Because after all of this was over, we were on a flight to our honeymoon for two weeks! Lying out in the sun doing nothing but relaxing.

The company, the music, the food, the drinks the moment was a day I will always remember! I let all my inhibitions go today! I loved Donald, in love or else I would have not married him at all. I had issues and flaws we all do. I was just excited about the future, good and bad times ahead of us. Having children. Growing together and starting a new foundation. The ups and downs, the highs and the lows. I was going to indeed continue my counseling because I really needed it! There was no doubt about that at all! Donald and I had a pretty good communication base. Things we did and didn't want to talk about we did. When it got to heavy or too emotional we would take a break, talk about something else. Or just leave it for the moment. Then later come back to it and try to resolve with a compromise. We both were stubborn, control freaks, want it our way, go getter's and overly ambitious. In some cases we felt that we could never ever do any wrong. This caused some issues between us, and the hard part was learning how to cope and deal with it. There were many times I wanted to yell, scream and holler at Donald and throw a damn temper tantrum. But I would calm down, be quiet and remove myself from the situation. Donald knew what was up. So did I when he was flustered with me. At the end of the day we knew we were right for each other. We were destined it seemed!

Nassau Bahamas for one week and Hawaii the second week. We ate, got drunk, made love over and over again. Laid out in the sun, swam, worked out because we ate any and everything we wanted. I didn't want to go home with honeymoon weight and neither did Donald. Because we ate! I mean we grubbed it up. I laugh at this. So by afternoon or early mornings we were doing cardio, abs, weights a combination of sorts. Plus all the swimming we were doing in those beautiful waters. You wanted to swim and feel the warm clear water all over your body. I loved swimming so it was indeed the perfect work out for me! We even played tennis in Hawaii and the Bahamas! We slept in and long. We went to bed late. It was the most relaxing and fun time I had in a long while. We didn't do a lot of sight seeing, shopping yes. Eating a local places that boasted the best foods and deserts yes. We just loved watching the sunset and a couple of mornings were privileged in seeing the sunrise from making love. There was no such thing as internet or watching the news. We watched movies in bed, no phones, no texting no internet unless it was to find out where we wanted to go eat or dance. Pretty much the hotels told us how and where and how to get to it.

There were some days where we just laid in bad all day and all night and ordered room service. Since we had our own private beach house so to speak. We had the choice of having a personal chef. Or not far from us was a restaurant that delivered great food. We were like a queen and a king! Walking around nude, getting in the jacuzzi nude and even swimming nude late nights. Which I am sure was not highly uncommon here.Our last night I was getting sad, back to the real world. Plus I wasn't feeling too well.


We had made it home safely. I still was going to take a couple of days off just to recoup from the honeymoon. I wasn't going back to my loft/office. I was now in my new home with my new husband because we were now newlyweds. That sounded good and felt good. A new start a new life, oh so new to me!

It didn't take long for things to hit the fan. While I was gone Chad had told our parents about the bastard child he had made with some low life money hungry floozy. She could have all of Chad's money, but she wasn't going to get a penny of mines and I made sure of that! I had to call up a lawyer to make sure things would be secured on my end of the business we had ran together.

Mom and dad were furious, hurt and disappointed with Chad. They of course had no idea that Darla didn't know. They all thought just as Chad did Darla was clueless. But two weeks after I got home from my honeymoon the crap hit the fan! This was putting it mildly!

Chad had thought that Darla had bought the brand new car for herself because she was treating herself from the new promotion she had received. As well as he also thought that she had went away, where he didn't know. Because her nerves were shot about the money he had spent and the mayhem and madness he had caused. Of course that was not the truth either.

Chad wouldn't tell me, in fact after he was told the news he told me he was vexed, stressed and had to get away! That he would tell me everything that he had found out and had happened when he got back. Little did he know Darla had giving me the full 411 as follows. The children of course were still with her parents when she went on her trip. In fact they were there the whole summer! Meeting new cousins and getting reacquainted with some old faces. I knew for a fact that Darla's family were extremely close and very loving and loyal people. They were close nit. So the children I am sure were having a ball. Activities planned out for them all summer. Even if it was going to an aunt or an uncles house to go swimming and eat hot dogs and hamburgers off the grill. They all looked out for each other. So I know Darla was happy about that! Because she had intentions of bringing them back home. I assumed Chad was okay with it because he was dealing with a lot of demons as well.

Well, Darla had called Chad over saying that they needed to talk. That it was important and about them. They needed to work some things out. Chad of course being happy to hear this feeling as if this was Darla and he going to work it out and he would be moving back into the house. Of course my brother had gotten there in no time ready to talk and work it out. Darla said that she had cooked some of his favorite dishes. My brother loved a good steak and he loved seafood. Darla made him a juicy New York thick cut steak, bake potato, and a large lobster tail with fried clams and shrimp. She went out on this dish! She had wine also to go along with the meal. She made small talk as my brother ate all of his food. Chad being happy because he felt he had been forgiven. Now by this time Chad had made good on giving, or should I say replacing some of Darla's money he had stolen out of the bank. 5,000 dollars now just owing her a mere 6,000 dollars. However, being oh so happy that she had called him and had made this wonderful meal for him. Wearing a tight black skirt and a tight black top that was low cut in the front in heels I might add. He pulled out his check book out after he had eaten and wrote a check from his personal account for 3,000 dollars. I am sure he really needed that money too! Because his expensive booty call was not far from seven months pregnant! Dana was shopping like crazy for herself, the baby and the condo! Chad told me that she was buying clothes and she couldn't even wear. They were in the size she was when they met. Though he says she was still wearing heels everywhere she went. Now before I go on, let me state for the record that Dana was an only child and very spoiled. She had free use of daddy's credit cards and could have and get anything she wanted. You see daddy was well off! Though she really had no idea that Chad wasn't as well off as he was pretending to be. Which I am not sure if she found that out or not. However Chad did tell me that they met in some five star VIP gotta have money to play and get in dinner club. No one drove a car no less than 50,000 dollars. This again being a place that Charles and Mike could afford to be at, not Chad!

Well anyways, Chad saw Dana, Wooed her, well lied to her. She was impressed, Never dated an “older” man before that looked so good and was super great in bed. He not only put it in and hardcore down on her. She had a few tricks up her sleeve as well for a young girl. For the record, Dana is twenty-five years old. Chad is forty!

Well being that Chad was full and happy. Ready to negotiate their future, his and Darla's. He happily wrote that check. Darla took a picture of the check and it was quickly deposited in here account and would clear in a matter of twenty four hours. She had that type of checking account. So did I! I loved it! It saved me from driving to the bank a lot. Getting back to the story. Chad and Darla sat at the island in the middle of the kitchen sipping on wine. Then Darla told Chad she knew about Dana Marie Stansbury! Chad was sipping on his Chablis when Darla said this. She sipped on hers after she said Dana's name. Darla said as mad as she was, it was quite funny to her he had choked. It took everything of her not to laugh. This was serious! Darla said that Chad's eyes bugged out of his head and that she had to go over and pat him on the back he was choking so bad. I must admit I though it was a bit funny myself.

Darla went on to tell Chad she knew about the condo, the new Lexus he had bought her. It was last years model that he was leasing. The baby, the monies he had given her to keep her mouth shut and not come tell Darla about her and him. The baby she was now carrying. I could just imagine what my brother was thinking, though I felt some empathy for him. I didn't feel that much, the only thing I was truly peeved and perturbed by was Charles and Darla. To me that was low-down and just a scandal! To just think that who we all thought was a childhood best friend, a good friend would hit on his wife and throw Chad under the bus and then sleep with his wife. Take her out of town and buy her a brand new car off the showroom was all underhanded and cut throat! For Darla to open her legs for her husbands best friend was also a low. But it is what it is! At the end of the day, Darla would pay just as Chad was paying right now. Soon Charles would pay by having pie all over his face from getting played by Darla! The question was, what would Charles do to Darla? I hope that he would walk away learning a huge lesson. Because at this point in time I wasn't feeling safe with Darla still living nor staying in the same house or state. Sucked for my brother. As well as it sucked for myself and family. We loved those kids and Darla too. Every chance I got I was shopping, going to parks, amusement parks and whatever else I could do to amuse my niece and nephew. They were humble, sweet, loving and very obedient children. Again this was a Chad mess up, a silly sorry selfish move!

Darla also told Chad after he had finished coughing, eyes watery. That Charles had been telling him everything he was doing. When, where and how long he had been with Dana. Where they would go all of it. Chad was like a deer caught in headlights! When Darla told Chad that Charles bought the car, he almost fell out of his chair. She flashed the huge ring on her finger. She took it out of her bra and put it on her finger. A nice 10kt “promise ring” but she told Chad it was actually an engagement ring. That is when she and him got divorced from Charles. Charles was clearly speechless. Darla continued to tell Chad that the trip she went on was with Charles. That Charles had been trying to get with her for years. Darla said they had only been sleeping together the past five months are so. Charles was great in bed but, but she was kicking him to the curb. She wanted a divorce, she gave Chad the papers. Right then and there they could sign. She would keep the house, if she sold it all monies were hers. They would have joint custody of the kids. She was open to whatever arrangements they could make. Since she had a promotion she didn't want child support or alimony, but if she ever lost her job he would have to give her child support for the kids. He was to do exactly what he was doing now, Buy clothes, shoes, school supplies, activities, after school functionings whatever. Help with food in the house. So forth and so on. Or they could go to court. Chad chose to get a lawyer and go to court because he didn't sign those papers. He grabbed them off the table and ripped them apart and walked out of the house slamming the door. What did Darla truly expect? I mean yeah Chad started it, bit she just overwhelmed him with not only did she know about Dana. But had also told him Charles and her were screwing, and he had proposed! Yeah, oh yeah Chad was hurt and pissed off!!!!

Darla called Charles, fake crying she said, boo hooing a storm. Telling Charles she had told Chad all about him and her. How bad he was hurt, and that she needed some space. To not call her she would call him. That was her way of getting rid of Charles. This was something of course Charles couldn't deal with because he was crazy over Darla. I believed her! For him to do what he did for her , he indeed was! Now he had to deal with Chad! Tell Mike what he had been doing. They were the three musketeers! Loyalty, honesty and love was their motto. Charles also had to tell other friends and family what he had done . Why? Because he knew it would eventually get out! Slowly but surely it did! My family, Charles Family, Mikes Family and close friends of the family. Some that were not so close heard about what had went down. It was the gossip of the streets one could say. While Darla held her head up high and made a plea and asked for forgiveness. Further telling everyone the story she had told me and Chad. How many times she told it didn't matter because it caught in like wild fire. It seemed people had more sympathy and empathy for her than anything. I had some come and say to me I would have done the same thing! She states she was angry hurt and upset. She made herself be the victim and that she was stupid for doing what she did. She told of Chad's many exploits with strippers. The whole nine. She asked her family and friends she relayed the story to for their forgiveness. Letting them all know she left Charles alone. Then blamed herself, she threw herself under the bus saying she could have been a better wife and mother. Everyone knowing that she was a good mother and wife dismissed those claims and babied her, forgave her and sided with her.

Chad just stayed low key, I mean very low key. He eventually moved in with Dana. Putting in as much overtime as he possibly could with Charity & Chad. He was really miserable and had a lot of hate in his heart. Heartbroken and ashamed, I saw my brothers demeanor change overnight it seemed. He became withdrawn. However putting his energy into our company was the best thing for him.

Now, as time went on it seemed as if I had a bug that I couldn't get rid of. I was tired, lacking energy. I had the flu, or so I thought for the longest ever. Donald was sick as well. We sort of figured that this had come from us going on our honeymoon. You know eating foods that we had never eaten before and so-called being in a different country, though we weren't. I figured it was all the overtime I was putting in at work. So I made an appointment for the doctor. I suggested that Donald do the same. However he was stubborn and pushed himself right on through. Drinking protein and energy drinks. Taking vitamins and such. Which seemingly worked for him.

My first visit to the doctor nothing the doctor could find or really see what was wrong with me. He asked me some questions, asked me about my stress levels. In telling him all of the recent events in my life he told me it could very well be stress. The new marriage and so on. However, he wanted to take some test. You know take blood work and all. Taking my blood and doing test would give him and me some answers. He told me to just kick back a bit on work. Chill out, because when I tell you I was drained and tired. I was just that. The flu was going around so he gave me some antibiotics for it. He didn't have to tell me twice. For the next couple of days I slept in, and when I did go into the office I went in my bedroom in the loft and worked in bed. TV on and my laptop, cell phone right in bed with me. My staff brought me lunch and kept me juiced up.

Only forty-eight hours had gone by since I had seen the doctor and I had gotten a call saying that I needed to come back to the office and see the doctor immediately! This alarmed me! I dropped what I was doing, took a shower, and high tailed it to the doctors office. I was nervous the whole way there. Thinking maybe I had cancer or something close to it. Maybe eboli! Who knew?

When I got to the office it seemed it was packed. There were at least six patients sitting and waiting to be seen. As soon as I signed in two other patients walked in behind me. When the nurse saw my name, she looked up at me and told me to come on in. This further scared me letting me know that he was about to deliver some, “You have two months to live.” news. My heart was pounding out of my chest! Pounding so hard my chest was hurting and when I swallowed that hurt. It seemed as if I could feel my life slipping away, and I would die right in the doctors office!

The nurse got up from her station. Told me to wait there and she would be right back. When she came back she asked me to follow her. She took me to the doctors private office, opened the door and told me to have a seat. The doctor would be in soon to talk to me. This was it! I was dying!Fifteen minutes later which seemed like a lifetime to me my doctor walked in with a file in his hands. I assumed mine. He pulled out his chair and sat down.

“This must be bad.” He looked up and the look on his face said just that.

“Well I have some good and bad news for you..” I braced myself.

“Well let's hear the good news first.”

“You are three months pregnant.”

“Pregnant???” He chuckled lightly.

“Yes pregnant. This does happen when you have sex you know.” I nodded my head. This was not good news for me. I didn't and wasn't ready for a baby! Not yet!


“You don't look so happy.”

“I'm just shocked, I really hadn't paid attention that I had missed my cycles. I mean I have been under duress before and celibate and missed my period. So I didn't think nothing of it I guess. What is the bad news?” I quickly got to the point.

“Your test came are HIV positive.” Did he say HIV positive? Not me!! I had taken a test before I started having sex , or unprotected sex with Donald. He took a test too! He showed me that he was negative. His paperwork.

“I don't understand....I got tested before I started having unprotected sex with my husband. My test came back negative. I hadn't had sex with a man six to seven months before I got with him. I get tested all the time....he ...he....he showed me his test and it said he was can this be???” The doctor got up from his chair and walked over to me and sat in the empty chair next to me.

“Charity, you have been coming to me for years. I know who you are and we have established a pretty good relationship with one another. I believe you. I really do....but I have seen this too many times. Now let me say this. I don't want to cause any trouble, but..... I know of a few cases where men have gotten some test results and doctored them up and the test read they were negative. Now... now I am not saying that this is the case here. But it could very well be true. The paperwork he showed you could have been an old test. Or he has no idea that he has the virus. Some people can get the virus and pass it on and not have it themselves. It's just like when a mother is pregnant and she has the virus and her child may not get it. This is a funny disease.” Tears were running down my cheeks and landing in my lap.

“I know I don't want this baby. I can't have this baby! I want an abortion!!!” Then I started balling out of control!

“Think about what you are saying. This is a life. This life was made out of love.” I had to calm myself. I had to catch my breath. I was beginning to get dizzy. I was starting to hyperventilate

“This marriage is over.” I got up and walked out of the office. I was heated!!!!!!!!!!!


I don't know how I got home. I don't even remember getting home. I was glad that Donald wasn't home. I would have killed him if he was. I truly mean that. I cried and cried, threw up and made myself sick from all the crying I had done. Having this baby was a no go for me. I wanted out of this life! I sat on the floor in the dark waiting for Donald to get home.

Donald had gotten home calling my name. I weakly said I was in the bedroom. When he made it to the bedroom he had two dozen of red roses, long stemmed roses in his hand.

“Hey baby!...why are you sitting on the floor in the dark? He turned on the light and when he saw me he rushed over to me. What's wrong? You have been crying! What happened?” I looked up and moved away from him.

“Your test, when was the last time you took an HIV test? I need you to be honest and not give me any lies Donald. Not now.” Donald placed the flowers on the bed. He sat down slowly loosening his tie. He took a deep breath. For a long time it seemed nothing came out. The deafening noise was eerie and told me truths about him and who I had married. I was getting angrier by the minute. I was starting to shake. It took everything from me not to scream or jump on him!!

“I..... I knew when I got my physical seven months ago. I hadn't taken a test …. I hadn't taken a test since my accident. I …. I didn't want to lose are the best thing that ever happened to me... Charity I knew if I would have told you it would have been over and ...” I stood up, and started pacing the room back and forth. It was all that I could do not to try and hurt Donald. I had my stun gun on the dressing table and my 32 was in the drawer. I kept thinking about both of them. Should I kill him? Debating back and forth. Asking myself how would I get away with it. How could I get away with it. My head was throbbing, heart beating fast, palms sweating, gritting my teeth so hard my mouth had began to hurt! The tears that fell from my eyes were from anger and nothing else. I had no empathy nor sympathy in my heart. I kept looking at the drawer. I was breathing hard, inhaling and exhaling hard through my mouth!

“It's over... I don't want to see you be near you from this moment on. You can tell people whatever you like. But I'm done with your azz!!! You are a selfish manipulative person. If I had the fukn balls and was not so scared to lose my life, I would kill you!!!! I mean that from the bottom of my heart!! Not only do I have fukn HIV I am three months pregnant with a baby I am not keeping!!! I don't give a fuk about you! I don't give a fuk about this baby either!!! I want the house and you still make the damn payments on it. You ain't shyt Donald! I hope you find another HIV positive bytch so you can live happily ever after!!! Now get your shyt and get the fuk out before I change my mind in killing you!!!” Donald was crying, his tears meant nothing to me. He went in his closet and got some clothes, packed as I watched.

“Take these raggedy fukn roses with you!” I threw the roses on the floor.

That night I burned every picture of Donald and I. Wedding photos, I took photos off of the walls and mantle and burned those too. Every gift he had given me went in that fire. I flushed the rings and jewelry he had given me down the toilet!! I took all of his clothes and put them in garbage bags and put them in the garage. It took everything not to burn his clothes and shoes. I cleaned house! I wanted nothing of his in it!!! I had so much rage inside of me I was up all night!! I had text my staff and told them that I had some important things I had to do over the next few days and wouldn't be in. If they needed me to call me. I wanted to call my mom and dad and tell them what was going on. But I didn't want anyone to know as of yet. I was hurt, angry and ashamed.

The sun had rose, and I was still packing and pulling Donald's stuff into the garage! I text him and told him that all of his shyt was in the garage and to come and get it. Make one trip, so he needed to do whatever he needed so that he wouldn't be back and forth. All I could think of was why me? What had I done so bad in my life to deserve this?

My body was sore and aching. I ran a hot bath, sat in the tub crying and wondering what would I do now? I washed my hair, scrubbed my body until I was red! Thinking that would get the HIV infection out of my body! When I finally got out I called my doctor and made an appointment to have an abortion.

This is where I am at now, full of anger and spite! Sitting in the waiting room to be called so that I can abort my child. Mad at everyone that had nothing to do with my fate! Mad at life! Wanting to tell everyone off and let them know my pain, my hardships. How hard I had fought to build my brand, my business my life! I wanted to hurt others. No one had any idea of what I was going through at this moment. I just wanted them to call my name so this could be over.

As I sat there rocking back and forth in my chair, they called my name.

My life had so many promises I felt. Now I had a life full of despair in hindsight. Trust was a twenty-four letter word for me. One I did not know nor want to know the meaning of. I thought I was doing the right thing in my life. When I had finally got up the courage to tell my family everything that had been going on in my life. They were hurt and very angry with Donald. My brother literally wanted to go and jump his bones with a few of his rowdy friends that he knew. But at the end of the day what would that truly accomplish? Nothing at all. I was told that medicine had come along way. The research that had been done to assist those who had HIV could live very long and productive lives. I still felt that I was given a death sentence of sorts. That the doctor would tell me I had so many days, weeks and even months to live. When I looked in the mirror I didn't see a person that had HIV. So I wondered how many more people that I had done business with, past on the street and even seen in stores or in my travels were in the same place I was in.

At this point....anger, hate, mad, feeling sorry for myself. Throwing temper tantrums and huge pity parties for myself and by myself is where I was currently at. I was dealing with a private and personal hell that had embarrassed me so. They say bad things happen to good people. But I still ask myself, why me?

Just Toy

Written Expressions



Make a free website with Yola