Funny how in life we only see things from our perspective, and when you look at things from a DIFFERENT perspective..your perception maybe a little off  , and you will perceive it different as well!...
“Did you see that?!!! Girrrrrrl that is not attractive at all!!” Dena stated. She grabbed her glass of lemon ice tea from the glass table. She took a long sip. I peeped over my Dolce & Gabana sunglasses. I looked over at best friend Jesse who was sporting her Channel sunglasses. She grabbed her box of cigarettes took one out and then grabbed her lighter and lit her cigarette. She shook her head.

“Girl I don't know how you deal with such madness?”

“What do you mean?”

“Living around these..these wild acting people.” Dena looked over at Jesse. Dena knew she was a 10, a dime, top shelf woman. And she expected and loved having the best. But Jesses was different. Jesse looked down on everyone and always had something nasty or negative to say. She was a dime, a ten a hot woman herself. And she got what she wanted, but what you got from the inside made Jesses unattractive a lot of times.

“Jesse this type of thing is universal. You don't think that rich people or even other cultures don't have domestic disputes? Girl come on!”
“In the street Dena?! You know that was just tacky!” I gave Jesse a look.

“Umm You live in Studio City and you have had some wild arguments that have gotten out of hand love. So uh what are you talking about? I waved my hand at Jesse. That is your problem you judge others and don't judge or see yoursel.” Jesse looked at me and then rolled her eyes at me and waved her hand.

“I have been telling you for years you need to move away from here and get something new and contemporary.”
“I love my house. I love where I live. Hey my house is paid for. The renovations have been paid for. The house is big and beautiful. I love this vintage neighborhood. I have all types of cultures living around me. There is nothing wrong with that.”

“Look!! Ohhh loook! What is he doing? Isn't that Ira?” I looked across the street to where Jesse was looking. I zoomed in.

“Yes that is Ira! Oh damn!” We both looked at each other with our mouths open. Ira was a married man and so was the ladies house he had just came out of. They were holding hands walking to his car parked in the driveway. She leaned on his car and he leaned on top of her and they kissed each other for a long time. Jesse and I watched in astonishment.

“I told you Dena! I told your ass that woman was no good! And Ira? Is this coincidence or what that we see this cheating whore monger low down trash?!”

“I am so shocked. I thought Ira was one of the good guys? Wow I am shocked and blown back!” Jesse took a hard drag of her cigarette and blew out the smoke hard. She then took a few sips of her ice cold lemon tea.

“And he has no idea we see him. My heart goes out to Melanie.” Jesse nodded her head yes. The sting of being faithful to a man that is being unfaithful to you. That happened to us a lot. I mean if a man can get one pretty chick, fine, beautiful, sexy woman. Trust me he can get more of them. Jesse has had more disses and misses. So now she is a cold hearted bytch. It is all about her, it is a game to her. What she does for them. All of that wifey stuff is a game. Enjoying what they do and pretending to really like who they are. It is all a front! Plays sex kitten, Miss Submissive. Gives them what they want. Gets the money, the rent, the furs, clothes, trips, shopping sprees. And she has a harem of men.

“Well Melanie will not be getting any of this info from me. Listen I need my life to be as clear as it possibly can. I learned my lesson with that a lonnnng time ago. So what I see is what I see only if effects me.” I chuckled. That was a big mess we were both in. We were together at a resort Jesse and I. We had seen one of our inner circle girlfriends fiance there with another woman. There was no avoiding Richie as we seen him rubbing oil all over a topless woman while she laid on her stomach.

We were all at an event one evening, and I didn't want to get in the middle of the madness. I wanted no part of course Fiona was there with Richie. My heart ached for her, and then walks in the same woman that Richie was at the resort with. Jesse and I peeped the woman as she gave Richie the eye. And as Richie gave her winks here and there. Then all of a sudden they left. One before the other. It was Jesse that had went and found them and when she found them she called Fiona on her cell phone and told her that she had an emergency, something she needed to tell her. When Fiona found Jesse, Jesse told her that she needed to be very quiet as she took Fiona to where Richie and this woman were. Fiona saw her mans face and head between this woman's legs. Why would he do that here? Was my question. Never the less he was caught red handed! And not only did Fiona make a spectacle and production she cursed Jesse out as well along with me. Not that night, but later on. See Jesse, myself and Fiona all got together and had a talk. And in that talk Fiona said that it was wrong of Jesse to pull her away from the party and show her what Richie was doing. And the fact that we knew about it for awhile and never told her. When we explained why, we then told her why we never said anything because we feared it coming to this point. A huge plate of drama, hurt, pain, production, madness and much more. And though we never felt that Fiona would be mad at us. All of our other friends had said to her and us that she was more embarrassed than anything and that we were right for not saying anything we all knew how Fiona was over Richie. And that actually catching Richie in the act was better. Apparently not!! So for now on, I we, me and Jesse stay out of each others relationships. Though Jesse and I are the closest of the inner circle. We just felt it would be best.


“Its so sad to me how these men profess their love so loving and true and then get out and cheat. There is no other woman for them but the one they have. And that is why I love no one but me. These men don't give a fuk about us Dena! We are just eye candy! Red carpet, arm candy. Humph...thank God I don't sleep with all the bastards. And it is only a few that I have met that put it down in bed. That is beginning to be a rarity. A fine man who is great in bed.”

“Well Melanie is far from dumb. Trust me she will find out. Most men are sloppy. And this fool is being real sloppy!” We drank some more of tea and had small talk.

“Look at Darran over there.” Jesse looked over to my neighbor Darran. This is one of the reasons why we sat on my porch sometimes and watch the lives of others unfold before our eyes. We were like the gossiping biddies on a stoop in Brooklyn. We saw everything and reported it to one another. No further did our gossiping go. It was fun to say the least.

“He is soooo tired and over! We both started laughing. You know he was trying to get a Jazz a week ago.” I looked at Jesse with a look of disgust and horror.

“Are you serious? Come on! He already knows not to do that.” Jesse shrugged her shoulders.
“Hey can't knock the man for trying can you? Jazz is drop dead gorgeous! A beautiful girl! Hell if I was Darran I would pull up some courage and say something to her too.”

“Sooooo what did Jazz say?” Jesse started laughing and then laughing real hard. She laughed so hard she had begun to make me laugh. And then Jesse started crying. We were now in tears and in pain from laughing. And I had no idea of what I was laughing about. As we hooted and wiped our faces from the tears. We drank the rest of our ice cold lemon tea. I picked up the glass decanter pitcher from the table and went into the kitchen and I put fresh ice and more lemon tea in the decanter. I grabbed a glass plate and put lemon ball cookies on it. Took both outside and placed it on the table. Jesse looked over at the cookies. They were her favorite cookie. And of course knowing how we both are intimately with our relationship. We catered to one another. I always had all of Jesse's favorite drinks and snack foods amongst other amenities as so did Jesse. I loved Christmas and birthdays, because we did it up for each other. I loved that about us and the fact that we kept our secrets close and dear to one another.

“Aww the snacks are here! My fav! Lemon ball cookies and I know they are from my favorite bakery the one and only “Salvatore’s!”

“Yes of course..so umm dish it! All we did was laugh and I have no idea of why I was laughing.” Jesse stuffed her face with a lemon ball cookie. And then grabbed a napkin from the tray that was sitting on the table. She quickly wiped her face and hands. She poured herself some more tea and took a long swallow. Keeping me in tense mode and on the edge. I played her little game and patently waited.

“Well...word has it that Darran use to date Kam a couple of years back.” I had that confused look on my face.

“Darran and Kam? I mean Kam would never date a man like Darran!”

“Look Dena, Darran is not ugly. He is just, he is just an odd quirky nerd guy I guess.”
“And not only that, can he keep up with a high maintenance chick?” Jesse nodded her head yes.

“Apparently so because Kam was given a whole lot and word has it Darran is hot in bed!” I looked at Jesse like she was crazy.

“Darran!?” She nodded her head yes again.

“Yeap!” I looked over to where Darran's house was. As if he was still standing out front by his car. He had long gone before I had went into the house and poured more lemon tea.

“I cannot imagine that. And I don't think I want to. But hey! If you like it I love it!”

“And so Kam did! And Mia has always wanted him.”

“Well I can see Mia talking to him. I mean her circle of men have all been so different. No one man a like.”

“That is Mia for you.”

“So Mia is seeing Darran now.”

“Really?”

“Yes..”
“Okaaaay soooo what's so funny?”

“Well Mia said that Darran couldn't get it up. That he has to take Viagra and he is weak in bed.”

“But Kam was saying that he was the bomb in bed.”

“Of course she did. And she said that so that Mia would bite. You know there has always been a rivalry between those two. They act like they like they love each other sometimes. And then yet they are very jealous of each other. A thin line friendship if you ask me.”
“No you are right they do have the oddest relationship if ever I seen one.”

“Well Kam made it seem like Darran was the best at soooo much. Fact is Darran could only buy her gifts. And Kam performed tricks for Darran.”

“Tricks?” I gave Jesse confused look.

“Nothing crazy. She stripped for him. Touched herself the norm. Darran copped a feel here and there. Kam said he was an excellent kisser and he gave great head. But he was super dead and dry in the bedroom. Kam had been moved on from Darran long before she really moved on physically. She was dating an NFL player. The same guy she is with now. She only took Darran around Mia. Kam made Darran buy himself suits. Made him go to the barber. She cleaned him up.”
“Ohhh Kam did that. I was wondering what had happened to Darran getting this new swagger and appeal about himself. I must admit I felt he had stepped his wardrobe up.”
“Yes he did. See Kam was doing this to make Darran more appealing to Mia. Kam would have Mia come over and hang out and call Darran to just so happen stop by. Kam had trained Darran to bring her flowers every time he came to her house. Which wasn't often. Mostly when Mia was there.”

“How could you keep all of this from me?”

“Girl please some of it is not worth even telling. But since I seen Darran it brought the story to my mind. Anyways.. do you want me to finish?”
“Go ahead please.”

“So of course Darran is looking more and more appealing to Mia. Now during this time Kam is getting what she wanted from Darran and in turn telling him that Mia wants him. Blowing his mind up that he could have her. But for now she was his. This made Darran feel as if he could concur the world. When things got serious between Kam and the NFL player she decided that it was time to get Mia and Darran together. So she cut things off with Darran and told him that maybe he would have better luck with Mia. And that she would help him get her. Darran was all for it. So the courtship had begun. Darran would send her flowers asking for dinner dates. Learned her well as Kam told him to ask Mia about herself. She loved talking about herself. So he gathered info and sent her her favorite fragrances. Just romanced her. When the sex happened it didn't go off well of course. And so now Mia was feeling stupid. Because she was flaunting Darran around town. Throwing it up in Kams face that she had Darran lock and stock. Which Kam could care less. She was well into her relationship with the football player. She kept him out of sight from Mia. Because Mia talks so much and was bragging on Darran and he was the only guy she was seeing because she felt he was the one. All because Darran didn't push up on her with wanting to sex her like the others. She had her jewel! Her king!”

“Wow!”

“So seeing Darran today brought it up. And the fact that Mia is head over heels over this man! She has him on Viagra so she can get laid! So I am sure she is teaching him how to have sex with her.” I started giggling.

“That is what she gets always trying to compete and take Kams men form her all the time.” Jesse nodded her head in agreement.

“So I am sure Darran is being led by the nose. However all Mia is doing is grooming him for the next chick. Because Darran will be a pro when Mia is finished. And we will see a new and improved Darran. You watch it and mark my words. Kam knew exactly what she was doing. Karma is a bytch! And so time will tell with Darran and Mia.”

“Well maybe you are correct.” I pointed over to Darrans house. Darran had pulled up into his circular driveway and walked to the passenger door and opened the door and a beautiful woman stepped out of the car. Jesse and I looked over at each other and looked back across the street. Darran had kissed the mystery lady on the lips. And they walked to his front door.

“I told you! Well it is what it is.”

“Can't wait to see how this turns out.”

“And it will be a turn out I am sure!”



ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN


My doorbell had chimed. I quickly looked around my house. And I went to the front door. I was expecting my girl over. We were having lunch together. I looked through my peephole and there she was. Mia! I opened the door and we pecked each other on the cheek.. she gave me a bag which I already knew was some white wine. Mia sat her purse inside of the guest closet and we both walked instinctively to my patio. I had a nice set up. We had cucumber sandwiches, deli and cheese tray. A veggie tray with dips. For the most part we ate as healthy as we could.

“You look fierce!”
“And so do you mami.”

“So what is going down with you Ms. Fiona?”

“Nothing really. Same ole same ole.”

“I hear ya same here.”

“Oh my I forgot to call you and tell you the tee.”

“Oh I am always up for a good story. What is the tee.”

“You remember Lisa?” Mia nodded her head yes.

“Well she spotted Jesse out the other night.”

“Oh okay. How is she doing? I haven't talked to her in a long time or seen her for that matter.”

“Well honey you have been under that man of yours a lot.” Mia smiled.

“I know, girl Darran is something else.”

“I am sure! He has your nose open! And knowing how you are he must be a beast in bed!” I started fanning myself. Mia smiled and then looked away real quick. I was caught off by her reaction. So I just brushed it off. Maybe there was a bit of trouble in paradise. If Mia wanted to talk to me about it I am sure that she would. Mia quickly changed the subject. She got upbeat real quick.

“So tell me!” And she grabbed a small plate and grabbed some cheese and veggies with a cucumber sandwich.

“Well it looks like the besties will soon be non-besties.”

“Besties? Mia had a confused look on her face. Oh, oh! Dena and Jesse?”
“Yes doll! It appears Dena's man Chonce is also seeing Jesse!” Mia sat up from her chair, mouth open, eyes bulged!

“I wonder does Dena know? Or does Jesse know that Dena is seeing him?”

“Well I would think so. I mean they are so close with each other I am sure they bring the men they are around each other.”
“Well noooo that's not true. Because of what happened to Jesse back in the day. She doesn't take the men she sees seriously. And she doesn't bring the men that she is seeing around Dena like that.”

“Yeah but Dena does.” And I gave Mia a look. She knew what that look was. And her mouth flew back open.
“You are right! Dena does bring the men she is dating around Jesse.”

“Uhhh huh! So Jesse is fully aware that Dena is seeing Chonce. In fact Chonce and Dena have been an item for about a couple of months now. Haven't they?” I said in a low sneaky voice.

“Ohhhh my! Well what a tangle web we weave! If Dena finds this out there will … ohhh I just can't imagine what would happen. You know Dena trust Jesse with her life!”

“And I will be the one to do it!”

“Do what?” Mia asked me.

“The one to tell Dena.” Mia gave me a surprised look.

“Ahh come on Fiona that is so wrong to do. I mean when Jesse pulled you away and showed you Richie with that woman was not done maliciously. I mean you were the one to let everyone know that he was going down on that lady at the party. And besides you would have not believed Jesse if she would have told you. You would have confronted Richie about it and he would have denied it. And you would of took his side. You know you were in full love nothing can come between us love with that man.”

“Would you have told me?”

“I don't know if I would have told you that Richie was cheating. I mean Jesse and Dena told you why they didn't say anything. They explained it to you. Look Fiona..”

“Noooo! No! No! Mia! Look I was going to be the talk of the circle anyways. People would have eventually all found out eventually.”

“You don't know that Fiona. You could have let Richie know you caught him and left the party. If Dena and Jesse wanted to tell it they would have. They kept their mouths closed about seeing him at the resort. They could have started mess then.”

“Yeah but they knew he was my fiance and we all are in the same circle and hang out with each other from time to time.”

“I feel you on that one and fully understand. But understand they stayed out of it is my point. You know how messy the girls are. And you have seen how things like this go down. This has happened before. All the women in our circle are beautiful! There is not one that is an ugly duckling. The circles we all hang out in are small Fiona. Money hangs and travels in the same circle eventually we all will be aware of the men and woman soon.”

“Well this is no disrespect to you doll. But you snatched up Darran real quick after Kam broke up with him. So you should not talk? And we are all aware of the jealous rivalry you two have with one another. Or should I say the jealousy you hold in your heart for Kam. I looked over at Mia. Who was she to judge me? She was right but I was still hurting over what had went down between Richie and I. And even though I had moved on and was dating. Richie was still with that woman. And it was apparent that he had feelings for her. She was no side piece. That hurt even more. A year and a half had passed by. I was sure that Richie would soon ask her to marry him. I was hurt because I had given my all to Richie. Thinking that he was the man for me. He said and did all the right things. He made me trust him and made me fall hard for him. All the men I had dated or were in relationships had never gave me what Richie had given me. And now every man I meet I constantly compared them to Richie. And I move on quickly! Mia was hurt by what I said, but just as she told me the truth I wanted to tell her the truth. She was wrong by seeing Darran. And though I was speaking out of bitterness in wanting to tell Dena that Jesse was seeing Chonce. In the end though I was happy that Jesse had showed me what she showed me. I was actually about to make Richie executor of my estate and a million dollar life insurance policy. My father was also about to bring Richie in as a COO in his fortune 500 real estate business. I could not bring that shame and drama to my self and family. They all loved him so much and believed in him so much. But later I found out that Richie was playing me the whole time. So yeah, I was glad that Jesse had showed me what she did. I was nothing to Richie but more money and a ladder.

“You didn't have to go there Fiona. I thought we could be real open and honest with one another. You know you are talking from an angry place right now. Besides, I spoke to Kam and she told me he liked me and was interested in me. She also told me that she wasn't into him deep like that.” I knew this information. But I was still telling the truth. Mia was very jealous of Kam. And so Kam always played off of that when it came to Mia. I don't believe Kam was jealous of Mia. She just knew how to deal and play her. And she played with Mia like yarn to a kitten. Everyone could see it but Mia.

“I apologize Mia. I am just so damn pissed.”

“So you are going to leave it alone?”
“Nope. I want to see how the goody two shoe besties react!” Mia shook her head.

“Don't shake your head at me. Anyways, you see Kam in the blogs?” Mia bit into her sandwich. She shook her head no. She had a surprised look on her face. Mia always wanted to know what Kam was up to. She wanted to always outdo Kam. And it was always Kam that outdid Mia. So I knew that Mia's ears were itching really bad.

“No what's going on with her?”

“She is seeing Bobby McQueen. You know that NFL player. He just signed a thrity-five million deal to play with Philly for the next five years.” I then opened up the wine I had chilling in my ice bucket. Now was the time to have a drink. In the honor of my guest perfect jealous Mia. I drank half of the wine in my glass. I then politely grabbed the other wine glass and poured Mia a half of glass of wine. I knew she would want a drink after that news. Mia chewed the last bit of food in her mouth and then swallowed. She grabbed a napkin and wiped her mouth. She then grabbed the glass of wine and took a few sips. Uh huh just what I thought. I watched her antsi-ness.

“Ohhh yeah? Well how long has this been going on?” She said with discomfort.

“Awhile now. I believe for as long as you have been seeing Darran. Maybe longer. Maybe that is why she said it was cool to see Darran. I mean look at what she has compared to Darran. I mean the man is filthy rich! All those endorsements he has, his own shoe and athletic clothing line. He made MVP this year and three times before then. I mean the man is doing well in all of his business ventures. So I can see why she was okay with letting Darran go. He just bought her a condo in Malibu. It is fabulous! We all went over there for a dinner party a week a go.” I knew that would tear her up! A party she wasn't invited to or knew about. Mia then finished off her wine and then poured herself another glass.

“Well I am happy for her. Seems uh...serious. Dar..Darran and I have been together for almost a year and a half now.” I cut my eyes at Mia. The only reason why Mia had stayed so long with Darran was because she really wanted to throw it in Kams face that she was the better woman. But hell I had knew about Bobby a long time ago. A lot of us did. Some of us could care less. We all fried big fish in our skillets! CEO, COO, CFO, NFL, NBA or white collared crime wanna bees with mad money. We knew what men had it and who didn't. If Mia would get her mind right she could have and do more than what she was. Not to say that Darran is broke because he is not! Darran did what was needed and a little more to keep Mia. And I will say she does right by him. But compared to Bobby, Darran was a mere peon or piece of lint in the atmosphere. Bobby was spoiling Kam crazy with a brand new Range Rover and Mercedes convertible, condo, money and trips. Mia was getting her condo rent paid and extras. Me? I was personally happy for Kam. She had grabbed a good one. And for me I was playing the field and I knew I would be playing the field for a minute. And besides I had just gotten a car and huge shopping spree in Rome from the current guy I was with. And this beat out poor Darran. I was cool, and little did everyone know I was still sexing Richie here and there. And he was giving me what I call shut up money. I took that money and whatever else I asked for and received and stayed quiet.


“Well I am happy that you are happy for Kam. She deserves it. I am happy for her too.” I could tell by Mia being quiet she was feeling stupid, real stupid.


THE BIG PAYBACK! OR IS IT?


I was getting myself together... I was suppose to hang with some of the girls today. It had been awhile since we had all hung out. Jesse, Mia and Fiona. These were just a few of the girls in our circle. There are two more, Candy and Alexandria who we all called Alex for short. Candy was out of town and Alex had plans already. Oh and Kam of course! But she had been all over the place last year or so with her new guy Bobby McQueen. We were all meeting up at a new spot that had just opened up called the Executive Room. I had heard good reviews about the place. Chonce my current boyfriend had told me that he had a luncheon meeting there and the service and atmosphere was outstanding along with the food and drinks. So I was looking forward to it. After we would all be going to some gathering Fiona had been bragging about for the past week. She said that it would be good for all of us to go mingle and network. So we all were down.


When I pulled up in valet parking I was already impressed with the outside of the building. Once inside I knew that this would be a mainstay on my menu. I would not wear it out, but I was always looking for new places to take my friends, fam and clients. So this was great. Even though most times when Jesse and I went out to eat and hang out it was places in and outside of the city and a distance away from where mostly everyone hung out. There was a lot of money in this state and a lot of places where it hung out. Our circle liked to do the “popular” places downtown and inner city. We did those but they could get boring if you didn't spread your wings. Hence that once this place had really gotten out it would be boggled down by the many people we had already knew. And this is why Jesse and I traveled a lot! Not that the others didn't travel. But exotic places where more money more money would be. And that is how Jesse and I met so many men in so many business' that took us out and spoiled us immensely!


I had given the hostess Fiona's name and she led me to the table. All the girls were there except for Mia. She was in the restroom. It seemed as if everyone had just gotten there a minute or two apart. We were all on time.


We all caught up chatting and drinking the best white wine ever! As we sipped and ate appetizers men flowed to our our table giving us all attention here and there. Leaving their business cards and sending bottles to our table. Which was normal for us.


“So Jesse when were you going to tell Dena you were fucking Chonce?” And just as the words escaped Fiona's lips everyone at the table had a surprise look on their faces including me. There was quiet a deafening silence at our table. As if all the noise in the background of the restaurant had gotten quiet. Jesse my best friend sat there looking like a rat, a rat caught in a trap put on front street.

“Fiona!” Mia stated with firmness in her voice.

“Well Jesse?” I couldn't say anything. I was shocked by what I had just heard, Jesse said nothing.

“Jesse is this true?” I asked her.

“Yes it is Dena. I got word that Chonce and Jesse have been screwing around behind your back for a month now. Someone who I will leave anonymous saw them out kissing and all hugged up. Doesn't feel so good does it Jesse? Then Fiona looked over at me. Well I just thought you should know that your best friend in the world was screwing your man and wasn't telling you about it. Of course Chonce was not going to say anything to you. Maybe just maybe we have another Mia in our crew. You know? Maybe Jesse is jealous of you in some way. Has to have what you have, you know competing.” Fiona had an evil stare and gleam in her eyes. The smirk on her face was even more hurtful.

“Yes it is true Jesse stated. And I hope you fucking Richie and being the side chick now is cool too. Yeah Fiona we all know. When you were out and about with your new little boo in Rome Richie got drunk and told us how he played you and how stupid you were. He never loved you or cared about you. In fact he had been sleeping with Carmen for a long time. She was spending the money you gave Richie. Yeah we knew that you were giving him money. I thought you just took the money from the men. Not take care of them.” Jesse smirked and grabbed her wine glass and put it in the air. Mia covered her mouth with her hand and then looked over at Fiona who obviously felt stupid.

“I told you to leave well enough alone Fiona.” Mia stated. Fiona looked over at Mia and gave her a scowl and rolled her eyes. I was still reeling form the bomb that Fiona had told me about Jesse and Chonce. And then Jesse telling us all that Fiona was a pay master and having sex with Richie. Wow! I was hurt and shocked. I could no longer sit there amongst these evil women. I grabbed my purse off of the table and went in it and got a hundred dollar bill. I threw it on the table and got up and walked away. I didn't look back. And I didn't want to cause a scene which I felt was coming. I was so hurt! How could my best friend do this to me?! After all... tears fell from my face as I walked away. I gave valet my ticket and waited for my car. I tipped the valet and when I got in my car I text Chonce. “It is over you and Jesse can have fun. Have a great life.!” And I shut my phone off.


I wanted to leave, I had to leave! Get away and run for the border! Don't get me wrong, some of us were extra whores and some of us just went from man to man. But never long without one. This is what beauty gets you. Humph. I shook my head. I shook my head in disgust, pain, hurt and madness. This is what I had gotten myself into. Women who really had it in for me no matter what the cost!


I parked my car in my garage and set the timers in my bedroom, kitchen, and living room. I set the timers for my front and back porch. Hopefully no one was paying too much attention. I had called my car service and they sent out a sedan to pick me up and take me to the airport. Of course my sugar daddy paid my airfare. He told me that he would meet me at the casino. He was working that night anyways. He made sure that I had the penthouse suite and all the many and more amenities. I knew as soon as I landed I wanted a massage. And later I could figure the rest of my evening. Normally Chad, my sugar daddy left money for me to gamble, but I didn't feel like gambling. I wanted the whole pamper thing. So even though it was after nine at night. I knew that I could have a pedi and a mani. Plus get my hair done.

With all the pampering and the many dresses I had brought up to the penthouse along with shoes and jewelry to match. I felt like a queen, I loved the way Chad pampered and spoiled me. And I made sure that I spoiled Chad. I knew Chad loved cognac, cigars, cuff links. Exotic ones that is. And he loved women. So I would send him women, cigars from many places I found online directly sent to him. Chad loved seeing me in very expensive and exotic looking lingerie. So I bought some while I shopped and looked at dresses and shoes. I told the sales lady what I was looking for and she would send my size with all sorts of shoes! Can you imagine this life all of the time? But Chad was a super serious millionaire bachelor. Most sought after man in Vegas. But Chad was very picky. And though he could have any woman in the world. The most beautiful woman, he was very selective of who he let in his circle. I was let in and have been in for the past three years because I keep my mouth shut and I don't want the limelight as some of the ladies do. Chad has invited me to many events and affairs. I told him no because one I don't want anyone to know who I was and asking questions being nosy. I was comfortable in my lane and zone. And with that Chad wanted and cared for me even more. Adding the many many things I did for him and didn't nag or complain about anything, Neither was I groupie or a woman who doesn't have her own mind and her own money. I respected Chad and I didn't treat him as if I was a hoar vying for his attention. I stayed in touch with Chad, asked his advice when it came to my business. There were times I had even taken Chad out. Not any of his women did that. So you could say I was the queen of the pack!


Chad of course had a driver for me to take me wherever I wanted to go. I had decided that I would go see a show and then meet up with Chad for a late dinner or breakfast and drinks. We had all night. And Chad was a zealous man when it came to his casinos. He worked so hard and stayed on top of things. So me being here was a great thing but I knew my position. Chad would be winding down about 2:30 in the morning. And he was the only man that could call me at that time of the morning. I told anyone I was dealing with he was my favorite uncle. Though Chad was in his late forties looking as if he was in his early thirties. Chad respected my thing and I respected his. And that is what made us so great to and for one another. Chad was the only man that knew that he knew he had that pull to take me away from another man. I recall one night he called me at 3am. He said he was giving me two hours to get my act together and would have a car pick me up and take me to the airport. At this time I was at my boyfriends house. I got up out of bed and took a hot shower. I told my boyfriend that I had to leave and hope on the next flight to go to my uncles. He understood. When I got home the only thing I was able to pack was a make-up case. Grabbed three dresses and grabbed six pair of shoes. I knew I could get what I wanted and needed when I went to Vegas. Yes, Chad loved taking me off guard like that and he could have it like that anytime he wanted. It was the cost I paid for being involved with a man that was rich and famous!


I was ready around 11:30 that night and I went and saw myself a beautiful show and had a couple of drinks. And when I had finished enjoying myself it was time to meet up with Chad. I fixed myself up and met Chad at the entrance of his casino. He looked great! And when he got in the limo his cologne wafted in sweetly. Chad kissed me on the cheek and looked me up and down.
“Yes Lord it is going to be a fantastic night and morning!”


I stayed with Chad for five beautiful days. Chad had rented a limo and had them bring all the shoes and clothes he bought me back to my house. And trust me there was a lot! Enough to fill the back of limo and the trunk. I flew back home. When I got home it was late in the wee hours of the morning. Which is how and I wanted it. I was super thirsty when I got home. So I made myself a tall glass of cranberry juice and sprite. I shut all the timers off in my house. Even though I had a security alarm on every window and door and a surveillance camera. I still liked for my house to look as if someone was in it. I lived far from a bad neighborhood. I mean all the people that lived in this neighborhood were affluent people with money. We all had alarms on our houses and surveillance cameras. I shake my head at that.


I went and grabbed a blanket from my linen closet and went outside on the deck overlooking my pool and backyard. And I finally let my mind wrap around the reason why I left. I knew that I wasn't the only woman in Chonce's life. Meaning that his mom and his eleven year old daughter were ever present. I never would have guessed that Chonce would cheat on me so soon and with my best friend in the world! We were being what I refer to as “exclusive dating” And as far as that inner circle and Jesse! I was over the whole get up. To be honest I was tired of the manipulation, back biting, two-faced life. That is why I only hung out with Jesse mainly. I could see through all the girls. And little did Jesse knew half of the things she told me I had already known. Some things I didn't know. But I never told her what I would find out or hear about the girls. I could care at times and at times cared less. Women on this stature in life that were arm candy and did this for a living were always messy, Few worked and had their own business' like myself we were the smart ones. They got their sugar daddy's to pay for buildings and product and found investors and because they dated or screwed the person that helped them. That man was a mouthpiece because he invested money. Me myself got men to invest in my company and made sure they all got their money back. And my business practically runs itself. I have to be smart, even though I am young. I had to play it smart. Beauty and sex appeal is not a lifetime!


I sat back and looked back on the many times Jesse and I were around each other. And in hindsight I saw how she panned herself to be like me. How when I wanted to shop she always wanted to go and always bought things similar to mine. If I said I was going on a trip, she wanted to go without me even telling her where I was going. When I mentioned a club, bar, lounge or restaurant she wanted to go. I remembered a guy I dated a long time ago tell me that I needed to keep an eye out for my best friend. All the many times I had company over rather it be male or female. How she had to do or say something to garner attention. No matter what the conversation was. I loved Jesse dearly, I truly did but I never knew that our friendship was in such bad shape. Maybe my eyes were closed because of the love I had for her. When I move, when I talked whatever I said I was going to do Jesse was all over it even if it was nothing she thought of or wanted to do.


“Hello”

“Hey mom”

“Hey baby! Hows my big girl doing?”

“Mom I just found out some terrible news about Jesse.”

“Jesse? Oh my what happened is my baby okay?” I rolled my eyes up in the air. I shouldn't have. But my mother and Jesse were very close.

“She is okay. Some of us girls got together and went out for dinner. You remember Fiona”
“Uh huh.”

“She spilled the beans and told me that Jesse was sleeping with the guy I was dating.” There was silence.

“Oh my! Not good at all. I could see my moms face, disgusted and aghast. Did Jesse tell you she was when Fiona outed her?”

“Nope, but she later on admitted it by telling some of Fiona's business. It turned out to be a big mess. Instead of arguing and showing anger and hurt I just dropped some money on the table for my food and drinks and then some. I left.” My mother inhaled and took a deep breath.

“Well baby you did the right thing by leaving. Not making a scene. I raised you better than that.”

“I am done with Jesse and all the girls. That whole little circle and click.”

“Look Dena, Mom had told you about being around a lot of women anyways. It is nothing but trouble brewing. However you are a grown woman and do what you want to. I can only give you experience that I have in my life and others. It is called wisdom. So sad to say that when you are a pretty you have jealousy and stones thrown at you. I told you that girls would always do this to you. You experienced this when you were in school from the moment you were in elementary all the way up to college. And look it is still happening.” I shook my head no. My mother was off with this one.

“Mom no one was hating on me, or jealous of me because of my looks.” My mother huffed.

“Of course it is. I know you better than anybody else does Dena. You thought that if you hung out with a bunch of beautiful ladies, or my opinion grown little girls that you wouldn't have to worry about jealousy and such. Not true Dena! These are the ones who hold the most hate. And say to themselves oh I can do better, have better and get better. You are always in competition!”
“Mom these women can have what and who they want at anytime!”
“Baby, Dena. I have been in the pretty girl club all my life! It is a curse and a blessing at the same time!” I will admit my mother was drop dead gorgeous! She ate right, worked out, took care of her skin and hair. Did tons of herbs and vitamins and stayed in the spa. Lena Horne Halle Berry ageless beauty. Here it was my mother was in her fifties and she looked as if she was in her late thirties. Still wearing heels and dressing stylish and setting her trend. All of my friends adored her. And when we went out together no one knew who was the oldest and assumed she was my sister. I had to keep the men off of her. Like dude that's my mother! Please back up! Thanks!

“I didn't see them as that mom, never!”
“Dena, listen. I am not trying to be funny here. But when you get a group of unattractive girls together a lot of them are bullies. And who do most of them bully? A lot of them bully the girls in school who they feel or weak and can walk over. They can spot this at a young age. And they pick on the pretty girls, jealous. Teasing, taunting and being mean because they have long hair, pretty looks, or dress very nice. Think about every bully you had in school until you decided to stand up to them.” I thought about it. She was right!

“Dena it is the same thing with pretty girls. That little pretty girl click? They are watching you even when you don't feel they are watching. They are scheming, plotting and planning. Noses in the air and talking about you. Even though they have designer shoes, bags, sunglasses, hats and have a man that spends tons of cash on them. Secretly in their heart they don't want you to have what they have or get what they have. Simple.”

“I guess I never saw it like that.”

“Because you didn't want to. I told you more than once, it is not good for any woman to hang around a lot of women too much. When you do it always starts up some mess. There is more of an opportunity to be placed out front like some spectacle. I am not saying that you cannot have a best girlfriend or be around women. You just can't take your men around them all the time. You can't tell them all of your business and every move you make. Your business ventures. Some things should just keep to yourself. Do the coffee thing. The dinner or lunch thing every now and then.”
“You are right mom. You always are. I laughed. But I didn't gossip as much as the rest. A lot of things I knew I still didn't tell Jesse.” My mother giggled.

“I hear you, but you are still in the mix of all that. Throwing darts and such. And if a dog bring a bone he will carry a bone. So when you and Jesse sit up and talk about others trust she is going and telling your business. You know this Dena. You are not a dumb young woman! I taught you better. Out of all of the girls you hang out with only one that has a degree. The others are laying on their back to get what they want. And that can only take you so far. And a handful of them are smart and have started their own business with the money they have or assistance from a well off lover. Where is my sharp daughter Dena at? You were fully aware of all the snakes that traveled in your garden.” My mother was right about everything! I wanted to give everyone the benefit of the doubt! I wanted to be friends with the drop dead women because we would not throw darts at one another. We would lift up each other because the inner circle ladies I hung out with went through a lot of the things I went through. My mother constantly warned me of these women. But I wasn't trying to hear it. And she told me some things about Jesse. But I felt my mother was trying to keep me away from everyone. But as her saying goes, “Treat everyone with a long handed spoon” it was way past time I had did so!


When I had turned my phone back on my voice mail was full and the text messages were popping up back to back. The text messages that had Jesse's name on them I immediately erased not even reading them. The voice mail messages I erased and didn't listen to. Chonce was the smartest one. He didn't leave a text or a voice mail. I was grateful for that one. Besides I wasn't in love with Chonce, nor did I have deep feelings for him. Honestly our relationship wasn't that solid yet. So it was no love lost in that area. And I am sure he felt the same way. I had a message from Fiona telling me that she apologized she should have done it that way and that she was bitter. But she knew if she told me without Jesse around I would not have believed her. And that she knew how Jesse had a jealous streak when it came to me. As much as I had done for Jesse and the many trips I had gotten sponsored Jesse was a seething hating bytch who talked about me all of the time and Fiona was over it all. Mia had left me a message. However I was over the whole inner circle. There would be no more of that life for me!


“Hey girl! Whew I am so glad that you called me! I was so mad at myself. I know I hurt you all...”

“Wait a minute Fiona. Hold on. Look, I am leaving the circle for good. I see that it is a waste of my time. I just wanted to call and thank you for doing what you did. If it were not for you being bitter and spiteful I would have never know about Jesse. And I would have never known about you.”

“Wait a minute Dena!”

“No you wait a minute Fiona. You have not been yourself since you found out about Richie. And you have been out to get blood ever since from all the girls. Throwing salt on feathers and making enemies along the way. Honestly as Jesse said we all knew that you and Richie were still sexing each other. That was your business. Not ours but Richie said how he really felt about you. And while you thought you were getting over by getting his money. He is still getting over on you because you are still opening doors for him. Now I will give you this one and you don't know me as a gossiper. But Richie has asked Carmen to marry him. So get over yourself and your bitterness. Because now all the things you are doing and have done for him are now making you the idiot.”

“Look! You don't talk to me like that Dena!”

“But you talked about me! Disrespected me just like that! You made me the center of attention in a bad way. You could have pulled me and Jesse to the side. And not do it in a public place. You take care of yourself, and if I see you I will speak I forgive you. Just make sure that if you go running your mouth that you say exactly what I just said. Thank you.” And I hung up the phone. And I called my cell company and changed my number since I didn't do it in Vegas. I knew that Jesse wouldn't stop by my house. That was not her style to do so without calling or being uninvited. That was how we use to get down. But now in this situation I had no idea of what she would do. I know in my heart of hearts that Jesse was feeling a certain type of way with being put out the way Fiona did. It wasn't like I was warned, I just ignored all of the remarks made about Jesse because I loved her and we had so much in common. I was hurting deep on the inside. But because I was not focusing on it and not giving my mind time to rest upon all the drama. I was going to keep myself busy. And that was that. No tears and no feeling sorry for myself if I could help it. And not rest on the fact that I was indeed a victim in all of this. I was beginning to think we were all victims in this dirty social misfit game that played.


Two weeks had gone by and I was glad that I not had any other incidences with any of the girls or the inner circle. I had kept myself away from the places I knew they would all be. Something I had did a lot anyways. Just because everyone were fishermen didn't mean that we all had to fish at the same watering hole or pond.


I was in my neighborhood doing some small shopping. Picking up a few things here and there. Also I had tons of laundry that had to be picked up and my cleaning. I had been working and moving around so much lately that all the small things I had let slack up. As I had took my clothes from the cleaners and put them in my car. As I turned around there standing was Jesse.


I stood there for a moment and we stared at each other. Jesse had a sad and solemn face. I could tell she wasn't far from crying. A part of me wanted to run to her and hug and move forward. But there was no way for me to ever trust her again. And I knew that and deep inside Jesse knew that too. There was no pretending to be a friend or fake friends. Our relationship was over! I looked at Jesse as if I would not see her again. But chances were that we would. I opened the door to my car to get in. I got comfortable and put my seat belt on. Now ignoring Jesse, I started my car and I backed out of the parking spot. I left Jesse still standing there. There was nothing to discuss or say. She played her part and she played her part well. She and the rest of the girls had learned me well and taught me well and gave me insight. I didn't need to be apart of anything to feel validated. And at the end of the day regardless if I wasn't as gossipy as the girls were. I still held down and played my position.


“Just Toy”

Written Expressions

4/2013

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