Sometimes you may not ask and situations of relations can occur and catch you totally off guard! Love can be disguised and hidden and not hidden at the same time. Intentions and lust catch up and you cannot think...your cognizant skills, social skills, self sense skills are off. Play the game... pay attention...don't get caught up and off...

He walked in, and her brain walked out! She was in a deep trance that she could not come out of. She quickly walked and found a dark corner to sit in so that he wouldn't notice that she was staring. She watched as his tall frame smiled and chatted with the people he knew that she knew. Where had he come from? Did they all run in the same circles? Had to because he spoke and had short conversations with a few that ran deep in her cypher. She watched and she watched. Her glass was empty, she had a small buzz. She needed another drink, oh so she thought. So she got up, straightened herself and walked to the bar that was on the other side of the room. The bartender that was hired was charming and a cutie and had flirted with her earlier that evening. It made her feel good of course.  


As she walked back to the bar, more faces she knew had just walked in to the party. So of course she stopped, hugged, gave kisses on the cheek. Little did she know he had seen her and was now watching her. She would have been geeked to know this. She said her hellos and walked to the bar, he flirted, she laughed and smiled. Her beauty was earth, moons, suns, raw with or without make-up he saw. He was in a semi trance. It was broken when someone would say hey to him. Distracting, and he was a bit irritated because he didn't want to lose sight of her. It was obvious she would be here because she was getting another drink. He could tell the bartender was feeling her. He was a bit jealous, she lingered awhile. Left a tip in his jar, and just as she turned around to walk away. Someone from her past stepped to her. She talked, she smiled...she was beautiful.


As she talked she was wondering where he was. The only reason she had gotten up was to find him. Glide accidentally by him hoping her perfume would intoxicate him. She knew there would be someone near him that she knew. She would strike a conversation up and hope that eventually her coyness and smile would . The eye contact they shared he would at least speak to her. She was using her seductive sly to lure him. Still stuck in her trance. As her suitor had left, she walked towards him. And instantly as she walked his way they locked eyes immediately! She was not expecting that at all! However she kept her cool, smiled, nodded her head to acknowledge him and mouthed the words,”Hi” He smiled back and he mouth back, “Hello” and thus the courtship begun...


Captured....


He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Life had been kicking him in the azz and his ego was hurting! Never had he felt this way at all in life. Of course there were ups and downs in his life. But this hit me hard type out of character life was not what he wanted for his frienenemy!


His marriage over, his children are angry with him, his mother is dying. He had to trade in his BMW for a used economy car. He just moved into a huge studio apartment. Just so that he could make child and spousal support payments on time. This was a hard life, unexpected, unrehearsed and oh so surreal. He missed and still was deeply in love with his wife. It was the indiscretion he brought home and got caught in. A fine fabulous female he had met he had an affair with. She got pregnant and unfortunately had a miscarriage. The wife found all of it out. While she was an awesome woman, wife, mother and lover. This side piece should have never taken place at all!


He was melting like hot lava from a volcano. Depression had hit him in the pit of his heart and stomach. Having nothing to do with his ex-lover and his wife wanting nothing to do with him. The shame he feels because of his sin. His in-laws whom he loves so much. Family, friends and his parents who were so deeply hurt by his actions.

The choices he had made. The two beautiful children who he saw born into this world. How he spoiled them and loved them and enjoyed them. Waking up seeing them smile. And no more see you later sugar before he went off to work. Leaving them money in their pockets or lunch box so they wouldn't be broke. The daughter who was a daddy's girl. And the son that clung on to his every word and shared affection with just as much as he did with his daughter. The games they would play and all of the hanging out and just for fun days. All of it gone because he was seduced by a woman who he now sees as the devil in a black dress!


When he saw her his mouth came open slightly and he was drooling! He had seen beautiful and sexy women all of the time. He of course being a man acknowledged their beauty and sophistication. But none, not one ever tempted him from straying left from his marriage. He loved his wife! He knew what he had at home and the beautiful children he had. But this one, this one was so different from the many he had ever seen! She had the body of a goddess back in the day type roman female sculptures! Thick thighs, hips, lips and firm muscular calves. Her azz was round, firm, thick full. Not too much but a whole lot at the same. Her eyes were big deep seductive and sexy. Her smile could make a blind man see! She was off the charts and from another world. She had on a form fitting black dress that clung to every curve of her body and hugged her full voluptuous breast beautifully.


He gulped hard and took a sip from his drink. He had come to hang out at the upscale bar here and there and had a drink before going home. Catch a game on the fifty inch flat screens on the wall. Talk to a few locals, meet some co-workers or hang with the boys. This was his spot. But he had never seen her here before.


He offered to buy her a drink, and it took off from there. They exchanged numbers, he told her he was married. She said she didn't care. All she wanted was to have sex with him. He was shocked and surprised that she was so blunt. He was scared, but phone calls, text messages, emails and naughty pics she had sent to his phone he finally ask her out on a date. They had dinner, it was wonderful and the chemistry was still there and stronger. He resisted that night and went home so on fire for her that he ravished his wife that night. And his wife in turn ravished him. And then he felt bad.


There were more phone calls and then lunch. Text messages and it led to drinks. Emails and it was the night he was now fully seduced and wanted her that night. And she gave her to him and he was caught up and out! He was sucked up at that moment. The passion that they had and the connection they shared. The passion was hot, the passion and the heat, the lust, the sexual deep attraction that they both felt!!! He was swept away!


He felt the guilt as he showered, and had shed some tears when he was in the shower. This was a good night to see her. The wife and children were gone for the weekend. They had took a small road trip up to Myrtle Beach to see her best friend and children. It was a mini play date and vacation. They did this often. What had he done? He took a long hot shower as if he was washing her off. But he felt her mouth on him, he felt her tongue on his chest and mouth. He felt the heat from her mouth on his neck, nipples and arms. As she licked his whole body and lapped him up with kisses. He shook.


He went home and that next afternoon after he had talked to the children and his wife. He called her, met up with her. Had a huge bouquet of flowers for her and took her to lunch at some fancy spot on the upper west side. They had mimosas and were tipsy, she led him to the bathroom and they screwed in a stall almost getting caught! He loved it and was simply amazed and overwhelmed by her even more! They left and went back to her place and fukd all afternoon and evening. He went home showered, shaved, cooked, ate and replayed his day over and over with her.

Sunday she called and he came over. She cooked a gourmet breakfast for him and served him in bed. The two later getting in her spa tub and making out. He had her in many ways and had tasted her nectar and loved how she screamed and moaned calling out his name. They were passion. And he left, went home and waited for his wife and children to come home.


Keeping this hot desire that he had for her on low-key was hard. This also prevented him from going out tooo many nights out of the week and his wife getting suspicious. What was he to do? Some nights he would make love to his wife thinking of her. His wife of course gave him passion the same way. But he was in deep intoxicated lustful infatuated like passion with her and wanted her!


Slowly but surely he made ways to get to her. Thinking, he had personal time off at work, and he was a supervising director. He was good. He took personal days off here and there. Some were just to leave work early, just so that he could fuk her! And then he slipped and rushed and had her with no condom! Not that he was scared she had anything, because she had just shone him her papers that she was HIV free. And she had a regular check up and had a clean bill of health. She shared that with him, because they were now official lovers. Why would she not? He sent her flowers, bought her gifts, gave her money and he paid bills! He was caught up! And no one knew, not even his wife knew.


He knew he was the only one with a key to her place. And he made sure he was the only one. How can you have someone be faithful to a non-faithful person? Well this is what he wanted and he got it. She told him she was pregnant and she wanted to keep the baby. He was hurt, scared, happy, sad and many emotional woes at that moment. He remembered the no condom a couple of times because he wanted to feeeeeel her without it. He said he would pull out knowing she was not on the pill. But it was sooooo gooooood and she felt sooooo good!!!! Too good in fact! And that made his head swoon to higher heavens he could not grasp mentally.


She was mad, she was hurt because he broke it off with her. The guilt, the reality that he could have had a child on his wife from his infidelity was hitting him hard! She said she understood but she lied and called the wife and told her everything that happened and how long they had been together. The wife was hurt and after trying to work it out with him. She could no longer do it and filed for divorce. They are amicable for the children because they have to co-parent. But the children were lost and had no idea of what was going on and why was their family being torn apart? They played loving parents in front of their children until all the dust had cleared and he had found his own apartment. She was granted the huge beautiful home they had lived in.


He was sad, hurt, lonely. And his lust had gotten the better of him and had him swimming in lakes and ponds he shouldn't have been. The song by TLC made great sense and had depth to it now more than ever. “Don't go chasing waterfalls stick the rivers and the lakes that you're use to” Shaking his head he looked around his studio apartment...his new life...


Captured.....


It is not everyday that you come across two people who are so deep in love that the love they have for one another is toxic? The type of love where you do all the wrong things to show that you love that person. In their head it may be stealing, hitting, arguing, physical harm to each other, erratic and extreme behavior. They were that for each other.


He would lie, rob, kill and destroy anyone who looked at her. If she needed or wanted anything he got it for her no problem. She had him whipped beyond the moons and the heavens. She was his first real true love! He gave her the world and he was also extremely jealous of her time, friends and family. He wanted to spend as many waking moments with her as he could.


She loved him, she loved him with all her heart and she loved playing games of rivalry, seduction and there were things she had done maliciously to spark him. She never cheated, and she liked the strange crazy love life. He had hit her twice, and she liked it. But he felt bad. She loved crying wolf because he would be there at her feet like a wounded puppy. Doing whatever he could do to save her. She loved arguing with him to set him off just to see where his loyalty was. She enjoyed pushing his buttons, and after the blow up she would make love to him with all the same passion as their argument. He had began to get use to it, he would start arguments just so they could make love. They were both sick...they were both caught up in a love that some may or may not understand.


His friends saw it, and they had told him how whipped and wide open he was. He took it as them being jealous and hating because his princess was fine! Now he was far from stupid,but he was stupid in love. He knew that when he woke up and when he went to bed that his nose was wide open too open for her. And he knew that she loved him. That she was a user and if he didn't give her what she wanted when she wanted she would leave him. And what he did know was that he was not ready to leave her alone.


She was tipsy in love with him, not drunk in love. And yes he did all she wanted and more! He was the best kisser and the best lover she had in a long time. And there was no way that she was ready to give that up, not now. She didn't care what he had to do to make her happy and love her the way she needed and wanted to be loved. She was selfish and she knew that; too many people had told her that. Even he had told her that. But she didn't care.


It was an evening he had picked her up and took her out for a night of romance. A high end restaurant, expensive drinks, flowers and her favorite candy from Godiva. He bought her this dress she had been eyeing for some time. He knew her dress size, shoe size, bra and panty size. He knew her in and out. And though she knew him in and out, she never went above and beyond for him. She would cook elaborate meals here and there. She would give him gifts here and there but never the way he did for her! And this made her selfish,but she gave him just enough to know she loved him. She showed him in small inexpensive ways. It was the heated kisses and sex, sexual lust they shared.


At dinner as she seduced him, she had a plan. She had not been asking for anything from him for the past month. This is because there was something she wanted, and this was expensive! Could he pull this one off she didn't know, but this indeed was a test of his love for her. So as they talked and she flirted with him, teased him and had him in her web. She then directed him to a hotel where she had a suite for them. It was a favor from someone she knew that could get the suite for her for free. She had the suite lit up with candles, rose pedals in the huge spa tub. They were going to be in the penthouse suite! With a beautiful view overlooking the lit up city. No drapes would be closed, nothing but city nightlife scenery! She had champagne chilling and fresh flowers were in every room including the bathroom. All of this she did not pay for. She could get a lot for free because she knew how to get it without always having sex. She used her brain, sex appeal and eyes. A seducer and charmer she was.


When they got to the room he was shocked and surprised! Thinking she had really spent all this money for and on him. She had a plan, a scheme, this was his test. After taking a bubble bath with red rose pedals, sipping champagne and getting buzzed. They made love over and over it seemed. No yelling nor fighting this night. Just lovers doing what they do and inhaling the moment.

That morning after making love again and very little sleep. They had breakfast, she fed him. She then asked him, no she told him what she needed. And she needed $10,000! She wanted to buy herself a townhouse condo. She told him she had $10,000 of her own money and showed him the proof that she did. And she did. She said if she came up with a $20,000 down payment her payments would be what she could afford. And that if he did this for her she would know that he was serious about her. And that they could take that next step and get married. That she would give more, do more, show him and give him some things sexually she had not done with him because they were not married. She told him that they could be engaged for a year and plan their wedding. Once they got married they could rent the condo out and buy a fabulous house in the suburbs. She filled his head with promises she had intended to keep. But she told him these things because she knew it was what he wanted to hear.


He told her yes! But how could he come up with that kind of money? He couldn't get a loan on his cars because he had taken out a loan on his car and was paying it off now! The other car was in the shop and he had to pay for the repairs and all of the new tires and rims, windows and new interior. He didn't have enough money on any of his credit cards but he said yes.


He went home, wanting her to come home with him. But she had promised her niece that she would pick her up and the two would do some shopping and hang out. He now had a huge dilemma on his mind and his heart. He had gone into a myriad of debt over her. There was the car he just bought her last year that he had hustled to pay off. That made her happy so she took him to Puerto Rico! A trip she didn't pay for. He had took her on many exotic vacations all at her request, shopping sprees, spas and so much more. All to show his love! And a lot of these gifts he gave her came from when they argued and made love after. His guilt would be heavy when he fought with her.


She gave him no time limit as to when she needed the money. But she said that she was taking her 10,000 to hold it so no one else would get it. So now there was more pressure to rush and get it. Immediately his mind went in to overdrive. How could he get this money??? Well the next business day he applied for a loan. Later he found out he couldn't get it. What could he do? It wasn't like he hadn't down an illegal underhanded dirty dog deed to get money before. Of course he did, but this was not just a few thousand dollars...this was ten grand needed ASAP!! And he wanted her to have it.


He made phone calls and set up meetings. He talked, met, chatted, listened, agreed and disagreed with scams, schemes, deals and such. Then there was something he had agreed on.


She called her Realtor to let her know that she was bringing the money to her tomorrow evening! Excitement in her voice, and happy joy all in her voice with her heart beating fast. She was beyond selfish on this one and she knew it. She was pulling that he had did this for her. Because she was getting hit on by a man who was a millionaire. He was the one that paid for those trips she took with him. She wanted what she wanted when she wanted and right now she wanted that townhouse condo to live in. And his love in the process.


He thought and thought how could he get the money..and then he had gotten an idea..he knew that he was taking a huge risk with his life if he made this decision. But at the end of the day he felt...no he knew he would be able to handle it. So he made the call, set the appointment up. Went..collected the money...and when he got the money in hand he called her and picked her up. They both drove together with her happy oh so happy that she was getting her townhouse condo. She knew now that he loved her more than ever! And she was ready to give him her all! They together gave the Realtor a cashiers check, she signed paperwork all happy and shyt! He smiled, he felt good that he was able to make her happy. He could move on with her, they could move on. He had been wanting to marry her from the moment he saw her. That crazy magnetic energy and passion they shared was too deep and connected is how he felt.


Within the week she had moved all of her new things in. She had told him that she had been shopping for the past year for the new furniture. It was not a lie, money he had given her and other men had given her had purchased lovely and beautiful furnishings and décor. She was happy happy oh so happy!

He was happy because she was opening up more, had his nose open more, doing tricks and giving into him more. Sex was wild and animalistic. He stayed two weeks with her wearing himself out making love to her. And her nose was open, and though they fought here and there. They argued, they screamed and yelled. But when she said maybe they should call it quits he was hurt. He broke down and asked for her forgiveness. He did not want to lose her. And she really didn't want to lose him either he was the best thing for her. But she could get more and have more than he could give her. And though she loved the games they played. She was weary of his jealousy.


A month had gone by and payment was due from him...he did not have the money. There was no time to waste to them, no excuse was a good excuse not having all the money and half of what was due. The interest would indeed go up! And what he had given back went on the principle and that was not much. So they beat him up, broke fingers and blackened eyes. He stayed away from her, claiming that he had to make a run out of town to make some business deals happen for them. This of course made her happy. And little did she know that he was in the hospital, emergency in fact for a couple of days. And then home for full bed rest and recovery.


When she finally got to see him seeing him in a cast and a faded black eye she panicked! He told her and assured her he was good. On his travels he slipped on some ice and fell down some steps. He convinced her and she ran around taking care of him. He at her house of course. He felt she loved him, and she did in her own way.


He healed and hustled and hustled the money. He was short three thousand and in a heap of overwhelming debt! His nerves were bad and he put on a front for her. Fortunately for him she did not ask for anything, and she spoiled him with small gifts, home cooked meals, and all the loving his body could stand!


Then it happened the day that he was to meet up with them. Still short three thousand he was beaten, kicked, a bloody pulp and mess he was! They took the money of course! They left him in his home, bloody, battered, broken, hurt and near death! He laid there hoping someone would come to his rescue...but that was not to happen. So many bones were broken and he was in such pain going in and out of consciousness! He could feel his self slipping away, and that brought tears to his eyes. No one knew anything about what he had done. He thought of her, he recanted his life over and over and over. He saw every dumb mistake, everything he had done wrong! How stupid and blinded in love he had been. It was all in hindsight now...yet he loved her and was longing for her. He thought of the last time they had made love in that huge cal king bed she had with sateen white sheets. How good her body felt. How warm she was and super soft her skin felt. How she felt when he was deep inside of her and her ever so sweet kisses. He cried, cried out and yelled for help hoping someone would here him. He wanted to live and not go out like this! He yelled and yelled out “Fire!” And that is when he finally got a response from a neighbor who came to his assistance. Saw him on the floor and immediately called 911 from their cell phone. He now cried tears of joy, still going in and out of consciousness. He held on until the paramedics got to him, got him in the ambulance. He felt the IV needle going in his arm. He heard the attendants talking, things were getting blurry. He was holding on. He kept thinking...how did he let it get here? His life now on the line....


Captured....


“Just Toy”

Written expressions

6/2014


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