How do you if you could remove yourself from every and anything that frightens you?  Places fear in your heart and get your pulse beating out of control.  Like a surge of fear! Adrenaline racing through the course of your body! How can you get past that?
How can you leave hurt, pain and emotional suffering in the past and not dwell and bask in it where it effects the next adventure or situation?
Ever lose yourself in “trying” to make a sound and solid decision that is based off of logic, your heart and your emotions? Ever really thought of the various people we have in our world? Like those who are not afraid of heights? Or certain animals? Those who are dare devils and extreme thrill seekers? Well, in some cases there are a lot of us that view the dare devils and thrill seekers as no big deal while some are fearful of attempting to ever do the things they do. We shake our heads no, our mouths are open. We also cringe at some of the things we witness. These are those that throw caution to the wind and in my opinion. Live a very healthy exuberant best life! I say that because in all sincerity it is so very true! While a person like myself is not living my best life! Not really!

Let me begin this by using myself as the villain, the person that needs to be made an example! As I will give examples of myself and others. By all means!!

Chi-vary is not dead! It just feels that way with some of the men that some women may come across. You may come across a lot of let downers so to speak. But trust, it is far from dead!

I will say my life has been an adventure in its own way. Sure it has! Anyone that you speak with can tell you a story of what they have been going through. Or what they have been through and have you in awe and clapping your hands that they made it through and are doing so well! Indeed!! However, that was a test, a trial. Later on a testimony. However, and yes there is a however! When you speak to the people that have gone through so much in their past and fighting in their present so that their future will leave them sane. It is the mess, the test, the issues and life twist and turns that have built something that will be hard to break if not careful. Baggage!!

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It is not to say that people who are adventurist DO NOT have baggage! Of course not! But, these are those that throw caution to the wind! Imagine a life with all people in the world that were dare devils of sort in different ways. The persons that jump out of airplanes, climb mountains, go river rafting. Then those that are into deep sea diving with all sorts of creatures at the floor of the earth that are dangerous and poisonous! Yes we do have some people like that. I am not speaking of the selective that are into this. I am just merely giving examples of those who are. I could go on and on. But I will not rant. I will just give a couple. My point is this. Everyone that is and has walked the earth were off the chain in some sort of way that made them adventurist, scientist, dare devil take a chance and live life on the edge type people. Our lives would be so much more fulfilling. Yet we of course would be us. By all means! If you are an artist of any sort. A civil servant, whatever your job title, career or business you own would still be you. But you would do the things that got your adrenaline pumping!


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Love is a powerful thing! The thrill of it! The feeling, the smiles, the pitter-patter of ones heart. The overall feeling of walking on air and if anyone or anything or the person that you are in love with does or say anything to “hurt” your feelings. Then the love is crushed! The heart is broken. Your whole life feels out of line. When your heart hurts it feels like your world has been stripped and taken away! Like someone has died! You smile when you don't want to. You fake the funk and live but you cannot stop thinking of the other person. You walk around in some universal daze and it is up to YOUR thoughts, your feelings, your emotions of what you will do now. Every action causes a reaction. It can go in so many different ways. Some become bitter, vindictive, hateful, revengeful, sit back and store it, be vocal, cry, lash out to others. I mean the list goes on and on! For those whom have never experienced love. I mean love that is love from the person that you dated, talked to , laugh with, shared experiences with. That person that fits your imperfections and you fit theirs. There is no perfect love! Of course not! However this is my rule! Always will be! Not all the time have a I sat down and made a list. By no means! If I did write that or say that it would be lies!!! I have done it a 2-3 times at the most. Now I just do it in my thoughts, my rational, my head. LOL


I weigh the pros and cons the good and bad. When I am off, not on one and not drowning in my ooze of feelings and sensing there is a problem Houston help me out if you can!! If dating, a lover, a potential partner for life that has the two of us saying, “I do!” There is this persona that dwells at the forefront at all times rather I listen, take heed or not “The Realist” is logical. Takes no crap! Is very wise and knows what is best for all involved. The Realist sees through the smoke mirrors, smells lies and deceit. The realist needs no back up for SHE is the third eye in every situation and 98.9% of the time SHE is on the money!!!

If there are too many things that are agitating the gravel. Too many complaints, too many nerve bothering let me gather myself moments. Love does not live like this! Not at all! There are so many talks one needs to have. No one can change another person! By no means! You cannot change the way a person dresses, talks and walks. Change comes from within. Now there are those that prey on the weak and can control a person. These are those that get off on it! Watch out for them! Some can get in quickly and you not even know it!

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There are some extreme risk takers! You know the ones that will throw all their money in the wind and take a chance! Those that will have a few dollars in their pocket and just move to another state. Nowhere to live, no one to help them! Just on one! A change is needed and wanted! They leave EVERYTHING behind and begin a new adventure! New life, new job! Some reach for a mediocre jobs! Some reach for a job better than the one they had. Some start at humble beginnings. But indeed know how to climb!

Those that believe in themselves and take all their money and open a business and quit their job! Walk away from a career and start a new one! A business! People around them will think they are crazy! They will have rough times, hard times. Times when they want to give up but they can't and they won't! These are those that are risk takers on another level! Then it blows up! The business, the idea grows and money that was sewed into the ground. The seed of what they wanted to do is now flourishing! It is all making dollars and sense. All of the woes and issues are just memories. But humbled memories.

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I have given these examples all for a reason. Of course! Why would I have used them? All of the examples I have given have given all of those people that can fit into one of those categories. I am sure we all can. Especially matters of the heart if not the adventurist type in any way. However, let me take it to another example.

We all have been burnt and hurt by family, friends, jobs and business transactions. It has effected our opinion, feelings and thoughts. Our emotions got us all in a tizzy because what just happened was not a good feeling!!! It angered, bothered, made us cry. Disrupted our lives and this will create a seed of resentment! This is now called …..

Baggage!!...

We all have it! We all have gathered it during our journey in life! Some of us have gathered the sticky ish at the bottom of the barrel and have had the worse and grotesque lives. Filled with horror and pain! Some of us have had some life altering things that have happened. Some have seen destruction, poverty, hate and the list goes on. This is growing up with bags already in place and so now this is baggage you carry. But how can you move forward in life? How can you be loved and want loved and have baggage from the past relationships? How can you take a chance on a new purpose in life if you have baggage?

I found that those people that live life on the edge perse. The ones that jump out of planes and will jet off and travel. Do crazy daredevil adventures are those that are more fulfilled and joyful about life! The ones that walk off a job for a year and back pack the fifty states. Yes, they have saved up some money to eat and lodge. But just the fact that they did it! And there are some that don't have the money and just walk away and live off people and the land! How crazy is that we say? Pretty crazy! Risk takers! The ones that are not afraid of heights or snakes, or swimming with whales and sharks. The mad scientist if you will. The mad hunters that go in the depths of the jungle to show you the wildest of wild life and are putting their lives in danger! The man that has the mic, the cameraman and the crew! They are like, “Let's do it!” They have healthier lives! They thrive on action, new movement, free movement, no holds barred with these type! The baggage of others fears and even their own have all been dispelled. Some of these people concurred fears that they themselves had! Some are just curious, want to discover! How brilliant is that??!!!

I am not saying in no means don't be wise and make solid decisions. By no means! I believe that there are some that are built for this life and some that are not built for this life. However, I have found that my baggage in many capacities has held me back in a lot of areas in my life. I am the type of adventurist where I don't want to live in any place for too long. That is my dwelling. I began to get bored and feel pressure like a cabin fever. Why I have no idea! It would be great to own a home. I want too. But then I know I like to move around a bit. Two years, maybe three at one place is enough for me. It is time for new surroundings! I am spontaneous where I will fill my tank and call someone and say, “Let's take a day trip and just roll out to ….” leave just like that. All I need is some gas and a few bucks to grab something to eat! I have roadside assistance so I am good! I like to get out and be around people, artist, travel. I admire those that have traveled to foreign lands and countries. Lived in a variety of states. I at times would love to be back in my nomad state of mind. It just does something for my soul! So I can truly innerstand the person that gets a rush from jumping out of a plane! Those who have done it have walked away and felt like their lives were never the same afterwards! What an incredible feeling!

Baggage can keep us from doing and moving in so many areas because it is worry stored up. Angst stored up. Fear of the unknown stored up. It is emotions tied up in a situation that has you perplexed. Of course learning a lesson from a decision you have made or a situation you have been in is totally different! You must move and think logically about the move. But Starbucks, Wal-Mart and all the many small medium businesses all took a chance on a vision rather they had been told no many times or had failed. Their baggage didn't hold them back! That fear was let go!

Because I am such a nurturer like a lot of women. I at times can be a bit much. Not saturating one with it. But concerns and wanting a person that you love to do and live better. Make better decisions in their lives. Like your health, your mental being is all so important. You push and give and show care and concern. That is me! I have learned though that everyone needs to be given their space and you can't nurture everybody! You just can't! Since I have done this in my career as I have gotten older. I have nurtured and cared for many that I had to let walk away and they took my feelings with them. The love that I had for them is now with them. The power of love is so deep. But, you push through it! When the next person comes you are a bit hesitant! But this is whom you are and what you do! So the baggage from the past can step in as fear because of what one experienced privy.

I am indeed a risk taker in my own right! I daydream so much of just packing it up and starting over many places! Why not?!! There is so much to see and do and people to meet and places to go and experiences! I would love to get up and just walk away! However, I am a bag lady of sorts. I would not be able to not have a lot at my disposal due in fact I just like having what I want right there. This means shoes and clothing! LOL Seriously! I would have to ship 25-35 boxes of my things from place to place in order to live my best life! Guess what? I have done this ohhhh too many times in my life and it did not bother me at all in the least!!!!! But, things are a bit different now.

I have noticed that some of my baggage has gotten in my way with trusting my own instincts. Also being too meticulous when meeting new people. I am fine tooth Fran! I start cutting people off immediately if they breathed too hard. “Like nope! This is not the one for me!” Where I judge and look down the point of my nose too quickly! My baggage has gotten the best and had gotten control! I have had to let the hard go and bring some Downy softener to my wash! It is not to say that The Realist is still not the head of my life! Indeed She is! Let's be clear! The spirit and soul of me. The God in me can sense it all!


Baggage from being a better me. Staying and wallowing in things that are not good for me or use for me. That I am the CEO! I mean I always have been! It is not like I have not taken any risk in my life at all! Far from it! I may be afraid of heights! But I have done some things that I have shaken my head to! Indeed! Risk taking for me! Through the lessons and decisions I have made, business has made, people have made, family and all in between that and beyond! Baggage! Baggage that I have and the one who is jumping out of the plane does not have!


Statistically those who are again adventurers and risk takers live fuller lives. How will our baggage hinder us? Do we step away from what frightened us, held us back, hurt us keep us from our destiny of the what could have been or may have been? Do we live in the sea of regret? What if it does happen and it does not happen the way you had intended? Doesn't that leave a scare of fear of ever going down that road? Indeed! But will it hinder you though?

Fear....


Not knowing the unknown of hat a future anywhere with anyone and any job, family and friends take us is of the unknown. What you expected is not what you got. But when you have no expectations you don't get disappointed either! It's hard not to do that with people you love! Very hard! But have no expectations! Have hope! Hope that it could be a certain way. Hold no one up to a certain level of expectation as you grown and go in life. Very very hard to do! This is what causes riffs, hurts, tears, divorces and major fall outs!


Baggage.....


Fear wraps its hands so tightly around a heart and emotions of your throat that your heart can beat out of control! Or you hear, “Warning Will Rogers!” That is from an old black and white movie when I was a kid. Or better yet reruns from the late fifties and early sixties. The robot sensed danger so that is what he would shout out. Like “I sense it!” This announcement caused a sense of urgency and fear too. Like what is about to happen?? Fear can take you to it. Or take you from it! The choice is yours.


“Just Toy”

Written Expressions

5/2018





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