Why Won't doubt come in and interfere?  Why will we all not doubt our very own existence? But then there is that glimmer of hope, that glimmer of strength...and now we BELIEVE .....

I was sitting in the waiting room, a crowded waiting room. Very impatient and my tolerance level on the verge of being broken because I am skating on a thin line. My leg jumping up and down out of angst. My lower back aching, my buttocks now numb because I have been sitting too long. But if I get up and walk around I may lose my seat. So I stand and I stretch. I twist my body around and pull and stretch.


The waiting room is now beginning to empty. More people are being called that I am sure have been waiting much longer than I have. I breath a sigh of relief, I calm myself. And as I am settling down and now concentrating on my magazine that I brought with me. I can now read the articles I have so wanted to do.


As I am reading I notice that the gentlemen that sits down in a seat in front of me. He may have been sitting down for ten minutes, in saunters another man that sits down in front of me. He has a seat over from the first gentlemen. I go back to reading my article. As time goes by the two gentlemen acknowledge each other and start up a small conversation. Small talk, banter at first. Minutes go by and now I am engrossed in their conversation. And this is how it went. So that you know who is who because I do not know the names of the gentlemen. I will refer to them as such. The first gentlemen that sat down directly in front of me. His name will be “Believe” and the second gentlemen that sat down on the same row a seat over I will refer to him as “Doubt”


Believe: Doesn't look like we will be waiting long. Thank God for that!

Doubt: Yeah, I am tired and didn't feel like coming here at all.

Believe: Yeah I can agree with you on that one. But it is what it is. We must do what we have to when we don't want to do it.

Doubt: I am so tired of coming here. They have turned me down already, but they sent me a letter in the mail telling me that they needed to see me and discuss my paperwork.

Believe: he smiled. Well hey that is a good thing!

Doubt: Hell I feel if it is a good thing then they should have just went ahead and sent me an approval letter by mail instead of me missing time off from work to come and sit in here.

Believe: Good things come to those who wait. I mean I have been turned down before. But I haven't given up man. I know that it is going to come through for me. I just believe that it will all work out. If they need me to come down here two more times then that is what I will do. I'm just saying.

Doubt: Humph, you are better than me. I feel as if they are trying to squeeze every ounce of hope from me. How much more can they take from me?

Believe: As much as you let them. In this life there is always going to be set backs and disappointments. I mean you already know that and I am sure by now in your life you have experienced a lot of hurts and let downs. I mean who of us hasn't? But being positive and smiling gets you a longer way than thinking negative. I use to see the world in a deep fog. Stress, worry, angst and health issues plagued me. So I changed my attitude. Doubt looked at Believe like he was crazy! I smiled.

Doubt: Man you cannot change the way of the world thinking like that? Believe shrugged his shoulders.

Believe: Maybe if all of the world thought this way it would make some changes. I'm just saying. I mean think about it dude. If we all woke up saying today will be a great day. If we thought of and on good things and put them out in the universe. If we smiled and felt good about who we were and the things we do. If we praised our family and co-workers. If we encouraged ourselves. If we all did that do you not feel or think that we would live in a better world? Just imagine it for a moment. Doubt took a moment and thought about what Believe said. He pondered it honestly.

Doubt: I mean I could see that. Especially my supervisor and a couple of family members I know. If I could see that emulating from them, man it would be a great thing! Because I have some family members that are always grumpy and my supervisor? Let me not even go there with that azz. Believe chuckled.

Believe: Yeap that is exactly what I am saying. I am not saying that because we smile or feel joy and remain to stay positive we are not going to be challenged. Been there and done that too many times to recall. And after being in the dumps I have to knock that off my shoulders and get back on the saddle and try again. Push through it. And because I believe in my heart, my thoughts and I say it over and over that things will get better. It does just that. No matter what I am going through. Doubt shook his head.

Doubt: I just have been through so much. Just feel as if everybody is trying to get me and see me fail.

Believe: Humph, I can dig that! But you doubt your very own self and your existence. You put the negative out in your thoughts and words so you get exactly what you feel think and say. Trust me it works!

And just then my name was called. I got up and smiled. I placed my hand on the shoulder of Believe. He was startled a bit. “Thank you, I needed to hear that. I believe that if I change my thoughts and the way I speak things will change. So let me go and get my check!” He smiled back and reached up and grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I squeezed his hand back. And I gave a wink over to Doubt. I hope he got what Believe was saying to him!


“Just Toy”

Written Expressions

3/2013


oBaz

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