My mother had this old wives tale saying she would always quote, "Every tub has to sit on it's own bottom" Sometimes we can get so caught up with love and others that we forget who we are.  It is difficult to want the best for others and they don't want it for themselves. And if you may be the person that is moving and growing into the light....step back, don't be taken off your course.  Remember when it is for you it is just that...FOR YOU! You can't do and be everything for anyone but you...

Ever been in the place of your life where you get mentally and emotionally tired where you feel as if you cannot go on? Well you are looking at her.


I met Sexton while going to the gym getting back in shape and losing weight from the seven day cruise I had took and the holidays of visiting family and friends. Myself cooking and having gatherings. I had managed to put on a good seventeen pounds. Some say in all the right places. But one thing Ms. Melody was not going to do was buy new clothes and I had just shopped over the holidays and especially on black Friday. Un-unh it wasn't going to happen!


I had hired a trainer to come meet me up at LA Fitness, sort of like me being in a boot camp for the first eight weeks to get this body in shape and me back into those jeans and fabulous dress I had purchased on New Years. It wasn't until the third week of my workout that I had noticed him, or should I say me noticing him noticing me! Honestly I wasn't all that impressed with him. I had seen hard bodies and good looking men in the gym. And that didn't side track me off focus. Let me say this, I have never lacked for a date, male company or companionship. I guess you could say that I was a people person and I attracted all types of people to me. So if I made a call to a male associate, friend, lover or whatever very rarely was I turned down to hang out or go out with. This is not for me to have a big head and let ego reign it was the truth. And I also stopped dating the typical pretty boy and dated what some women would say “He is not cute at all!” Matter of fact I had a lot of people tell me, “Mel you can do a lot better than that!” I could, but something about a Seal (the singer) looking guy just made my blood run over. Of course there had to be some attributes that I was attracted to. Height, teeth, smile, eyes, sense of style,and he had to smell good! And no offense, I wasn't into chunky or overweight men.


Anyways, Sexton was not my type at all. He was handsome and had a body, the pretty white teeth and a nice smile. But he wasn't dark enough or manly enough for me. But he played this game making sure that he would hunt me down every morning making his presence known. I tired of this soon and had decided to change up my hours at the gym and he sought me out again! Did this man ever get it? In the end I guess persistence pays off, because this is the beginning of my story.


I was sitting at the juice bar having some water. I had just finished doing some laps in the pool and had walked the treadmill. I had lost twenty pounds and was feeling good about myself! My trainer said that if I swam and walked I could workout every muscle swimming and keep my body taunt and that walking as well as swimming was great cardio.


“Hi” I turned around.

“Hey”

“You look great! You really do. My name is Sexton, and he extended his hand out to me. I was wondering what happened to you. I wasn't seeing you early in the mornings anymore”

“My name is Melody Canton. Mel for short.”

“Nice meeting you. I know it has to be obvious I was attracted to you. If I made you feel uncomfortable I apologize. You just have this unique look and energy about you.”

“Uh-huh.” He laughed.

“I'm serious. I was hoping you would say something to me before I made a move. I like the woman to lead.

“Is that right? Well Sex-ten, what a very peculiar name I am sure people comment on your name all the time.”

“They do, my mom thought it was unique and liked it so of course...”

“She named you Sexton. Well Sexton I most times don't approach men. They approach me. And I didn't come to the gym to pick anyone up I came here with and on a mission.”

“Well I can say mission accomplished. He was smiling looking me over. He was beginning to creep me out and was wearing my nerves something awesome. I mean you and your trainer have done an incredible job.” I rolled my eyes and took a gulp of my water. I got up from my stool and stood in front of him.

“Well it was nice meeting you I must go now.”

“Wait a minute, is there anyway that I can see you again? I mean meet up with you? Take you out for lunch, tea, coffee, a walk? What does a man have to do to get next to you? To get to know you better?”

“Honestly, you...you are..”

“Not your type. But you don't know that until you give me a chance.” I asked the guy behind the counter for a pen and pad. I jotted down my cousins address to his office. I didn't give a phone number. I then handed it to him.

“You can start off by sending me flowers everyday to this address, making sure your address and phone number are on it. And I will think about it. And I walked off. This would be my way of getting rid of this Sexton character. Because I knew he wouldn't do it.


A week had gone by and no word from Sexton, just as I figured. However I had went out of town for three days and my cousin Lauren called me.

“Hey beautiful!”

“Hey Lauren! I loved when my cousin called me that he always placed a smile on my face! What you up to?”

“I'm kick back right now. I think you need to get to this office. I have gotten three deliveries today all for you. What man have you put a hex on? Every hour on the hour since I have gotten into my office flowers have been brought here.” I started laughing.

“Read one of the cards.”

“Hold on.....You know who this is, and I hope now we can sit and talk soon....Signed Eyes for you”

“Corny but cute.”

“Okay spill it.”


I had ran down the story to my cousin and he and I both laughed. I offered to take him to lunch and also come down and pick up the flowers that had been delivered. By the time I had gotten there Sexton had six beautiful bouquets of flowers delivered to Lauren's office. And by the looks of it he had put out some cash for these flowers. I must say I was impressed. I had read each and every card that he had written and was quite smitten by the lovely things he had said. I was surprised because I knew he wasn't going to follow through, but he did!


After my cousin Lauren and I had caught up, laughed and had a great afternoon. I went back to his office and gave Sexton a call.


“Hello”

“Well greetings to you, how are you?”

“Fine now that I hear your voice.” I could feel him smile.

“Thank you for the flowers. They are absolutely beautiful, I have no idea of how I will get all of them home but I will do it.”

“You are welcome, I am glad that you like them.”

“Very much so. I purchase flowers to place in my home every week.”

“Do you?”
“I sure do, makes me feel good. And I love flowers.”

“So will I be able to see you soon or what?” We both laughed.

“Sure.”

“How about this evening? A very close friend of mine plays in a jazz band and they are playing in the Century City Lounge on Olympic. Care to meet up with me?”

“Sounds fun, what time?”

“How about eight? That way we can have a drink or two and a light dinner.”

“I know exactly where the lounge is. I will see you later.”

“Great!”


If wooing was what it took to get me then I will say that Sexton had done a good job at it.


When I arrived at the lounge the parking lot was already full. So I had to go through valet parking. Which was fine with me no problem there. As soon as I stepped out of my car there was Sexton waiting by the front door. He had called the valet over and gave him the money to pay for my parking. I was impressed, a little so far. But I had been here many times before with men. Things start off grand to make that impression and then it changes oh too soon. Many of my friends and family would ask me why did I date men that they felt were not on the level for me in looks. And I replied that when dating a man that has these superb looks you had to contend with an ego. I dated men that women were quick to kick to the curb! If the man came to me the correct way no matter of he was in raggedy clothes or dirty from working a blue collar job I gave him a chance. And you have no idea that some of these men owned their own business' and had money, nice home and well respected in their community. Looks can be deceiving. And men that were not all that attractive were more attentive and caring and very pleasing. Even in bed these men had it going on! So I dated the nerds, geeks, and not so handsome men. As I said before, if they had a nice body, pretty smile, spoke clearly and I could detect intelligence I was all for it! But now it seems unattractive was the new fine. And the darker the man and non modle-esque he was was beginning to catch on. Most women wanted the super handsome or pretty boy no matter what the skin tone. Not me, been there and done that too long. Now there were some downfalls to dating these men. Insecurity, could have a bugaboo, too pushy or move too fast or fall real hard. That was my problems with these men. But for some reason I always lucked up with men who had their act together and was always treated like a queen. And for those who I just couldn't be with, we remained friends or business colleagues and associates. And this is why I had a lot of men in my life and never wanted for much. Some of my girls caught on, while some remained in the dark.


As I got out of the car and grabbed my purse and coat I saw the same thing in Sexton. He was nerdy like to me, like an old car that needed a good detailing. With the right fixes here and there on the outside you could turn him into something quite beautiful. But he would still be nerdy. Because when he talked to me he came off as if he had never talked to a woman before. He wasn't smooth and a bit pushy. So I had already guarded myself because I knew what type of guy he was. By looking at him you would not be able to tell he had a body underneath his clothes. And he was not as thick as I like my men. But hey this was a date and I was eager to learn about him, even if it didn't go far.


Sexton opened the door for me and I walked in, “Thank you” He grabbed my hand and led me to the VIP area. He had a table waiting there for us. The lounge was packed, I had heard about the band before. My best friend had told me that the band was hot and that they all had great singing voices. So I was excited. When I sat down a waitress came right over to our table. She had told us about the drink specials and the food menu. I had ordered a salad and a glass of white wine.


“I didn't expect it to be packed like this.”

“My boy Milton is the leader of the band and he is a popular guy.”

“I see. So that is how you got us up into VIP then.”

“Yes I will not tell a lie.” He had his hand over his heart with his head bowed.


Now I will stop here. Though I will tell you my story, but I will later find out that Sexton had a lot of hook ups and knew a lot of people and this is how he was able to go a lot of places. Riding on the coattails of others. Which there was nothing wrong with that. I enjoyed Carte Blanche treatment from a sleuth of people I knew.


Sexton had told me exactly what I had already knew. He was a low-key sort of guy. My words nerdy. He had traveled, been to college, had three other brothers. He used to be a DJ when he was in college for a radio station and was once a huge ladies man. That part I didn't see. But okay I will run with it. Sexton worked at Pitney & Bowes, I was impressed. The manger of the internal department of the company. Fraud mostly and making sure that all accounts were handled correctly. We did and didn't have a lot in common. While I could already tell I was more outgoing and liberal than he was. I mean we were totally opposite. They say opposites attract. But was I attracted to Sexton at this point? I wasn't.


Time moves on and Sexton and I had been spending a great deal of time together. And as a month turned into three I was now feeling him a bit. And we of course took our rapport to the next level. And brother wasn't bad between the sheets. But I wasn't looking for a lover, my last five years of being single I was ready to settle down, marry have children. I had been just about all over the world. Germany, Italy, Caribbeans and of course the hot spots of the United States and Canada. My career was stable and my business generated some heavy cash flow where I could do as I pleased. I didn't want for too much of anything. Just like everyone else feeling hard times I did too, I just had to keep coming up with inventive ways in making my money and re-inventing myself and my business. It was business first and fun last. And this was at times what bothered Sexton because he was a needy man. He needed to have a certain amount of attention all the time. If he didn't get it then he would act up just like a child. Though I didn't like this behavior, I kicked it to the side because as a whole Sexton was a great person.....or so I thought.


Six months into our now committed relationship we had gone on a cruise. He had brought some business my way. And it seemed our bond was getting stronger and both of us feeling that love thing. His family instantly fell in love with me and I liked them, but had some reservations about them that I kept to myself. They say the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. But I ignored that, and I should not have!


At about a year Sexton had presented me with a fabulous ring and asked me to marry him. I said yes and next thing I knew we had made a trip to Las Vegas and got married! We honeymooned in Canada and when we got back home to Los Angeles Sexton had moved in with me into my condo. I had just purchased my condo. I wasn't going anywhere and I don't think he wanted to live anywhere else either. He had practically moved in anyways.


Settling into matrimony I came home early to find Sexton out on the patio standing up looking out over the city. We had a fab view of the ocean on one side, downtown Los Angeles and the Hollywood Hills sign. I had walked to the patio and pulled the sliding door back. Curious as to why he was home at this hour and not at work. Long story short he had gotten fired from his job. To me the particulars of why he got fired went over my head. Like I didn't hear it, all I know is that Sexton would be out of work and dependent on me!


Sexton got fired for insubordination. I was aghast! How? What? Let's move on and forward with this story. As soon as He was fired from his job three weeks later he had gotten pulled over and was taken to jail! He had an unpaid speeding ticket that had gone into a warrant and Sexton told me that he did not want me to bail him out. That it was over crowded in there and that by the time they would process him in they wouldn't have anywhere to put him and he would be released. He wanted to go to court and most likely the judge would say time served and the warrant would be removed and all would be over with. Sexton ended up doing three weeks at the county jail! I was livid of course! I wanted my husband home and didn't like the fact that he was locked up with rapist, murders and derelicts didn't make me feel good at all! And I missed him a lot!


Because Sexton had money on him when he was picked up he didn't call me and ask me to come pick him up. He had called a cab and came home. Of course they release you after midnight so imagine my surprise when I was awaken by a running shower downstairs. I wasn't alarmed at all I knew it was Sexton. And it seemed as if he had been in there for an hour. I could understand wanting to wash the grime and soot of jail off of you. Not that I had been in jail, but I could only imagine. While he was showering I had made us some chai tea. And Sexton loved my grilled chicken salads and home made croutons. So I whipped that up real quick and set the table.

When Sexton walked into the dining room still wet from the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, food was not on the menu at that moment. We bonded and connected and so much passion had evoked. Then is when he ate. He told me nothing of his experience and I didn't ask.


About two weeks later Sexton had gotten his unemployment benefits and immediately he had collected all the utility bills that were due and paid them. Purchased groceries and placed fresh flowers in my office, dining room, living room and our bedroom. Sexton was also a very good cook, I mean he could have been a chef. So when I got home I had a hot meal waiting for me along with a fabulous desert him and banana bread pudding. Excellent. Sexton had also taken my car and got it washed and filled my gas tank up and gave me $500 I knew that it was the back pay, he had waited almost three months before they had given him his money. Of course he had to fight for it.


It was now at this time I had begun to see Sexton differently. I always thought of him as a go-getter. But I would come home to find the house spic and span but Sexton in front of the TV watching it like he was studying it. I had asked him had he looked for a job, or what his plans were. Five months had gone by and yet he did not have a job. He was happy getting $550 bi-weekly from unemployment, I wasn't. Even though he took care of the utilities and did as much as he could for me it just wasn't enough. I was accustomed to the type of man that hustled legally and always had something going. All Sexton did was talk. He said he wanted to go back to school. That didn't happen. That he was going to work for his friend in the real estate business because that is what he wanted to do. Invest and rehab houses. Sale them or rent them. I didn't see that happen. And then it was when I saw his family, well took a deeper look into that. While his father had done well in life and was now retired and traveling. His mother stayed with his brother drinking beer all day and doing nothing. While the brother she stayed with was in a very toxic relationship, too messy to give details. His Brother Martin had five children. Three grown, two infant or toddlers from the young girl that was living with him. And two of his sons were staying with him with their girlfriends and one son had a baby which made Martin a grandfather at the age of forty-six. The other brother wasn't working and hadn't worked in three years and was from woman to woman. And last but not least the youngest brother was an addict and in and out of jail. To put it mildly his family was dysfunctional as all hell. Not that my family didn't have any dysfunctions but none like these!


Finally Sexton had found a job working in a call center which I felt was beneath him. But he said it was the only job that would hire him. He would be making thirteen dollars an hour plus commission. I guess I couldn't be mad at all, but going from $80,000 a year to $27,000 a year is a huge difference. He was still getting his unemployment while he worked saying that he could work the job for three months passing probation. After being on this job for five months Sexton got fired again fom the same thing, insubordination. He had cursed out his supervisor feeling himself. Now long gone were the days of romance, gifts, taking me out, and the very small things I was accustomed to. And long gone were the days where I wanted to make love to my husband. It had now gotten to the point where we had sex and I wasn't even into it, no foreplay no nothing!


As Sexton and I talked I started to get in his head more. Asking him different incidences about his childhood, ex-girlfriends and such. And I learned at the end of the day Sexton was not the man for me at all! And this was my fault! Sexton had never dated any woman of my caliber before! Not to say that I am supreme chow chow, well I am (ego talking) but the women he dated were scrubs! I was a high powered go getter and a mover and shaker. While he dated women from the hood, skanks as far as I was concerned so now I understood why I was given so many compliments and that he had upgraded, “You need to keep her she makes you look good” Huh? It was all making sense. And the fact that he had told me at one time women would do anything for him. Well I guess if I rolled up in the hood in a BMW dating a bad weave wearing hot mama with a smoking body I would do what I could to keep him too. But that was not me, the men I dated they all had it going on!


I would have moments when I would want to curse Sexton out! When I wanted to walk out and kick him out because I felt as if he was sorry and a fraud. And trust me there were times when our arguments did escalate into screaming matches. And this was not me either.


I could no longer be honest and upfront about my feelings and how I felt because this in turn placed Sexton on the defensive. So now I was at the gym working out my frustrations, shopping a lot because I needed some outlet, I was hanging out a bit more with my girls and I had taken a couple of weekend trips leaving him behind. I also noticed I was taking care of everything. When I said I was going to do something it got down, not so with Sexton. I could tell him to pay a bill, make a phone call and later ask him did he handle it and his response would be, “I forgot” He didn't handle business, he made a lot of wrong decisions and I had to always go behind him and clean it up.


The fact that Sexton was also six years older than me played a huge part in the matter. To me he should have had a lot more than what he had. But come to find out later down the line he was in a bad relationship as his brothers, mother and father. TOXIC!!!!!! His parents had a toxic marriage and they were now divorced and every relationship thereafter the children saw their parents in was just as toxic if not worse. Addictions, constant fighting, children not being taking care of properly, no one really working, here and there. And a lot of cheating! This was Sextons life!


The relationship he had before me was seven years and he got a woman that was beneath him because he felt that was all he could get. She used him wholly and he knew she was, she cheated and he knew she was. She stayed into it with him and she was using drugs. Sexton would come home to find his apartment in shambles, or filled with strangers mostly men. And he let it all slide. When I heard this from his niece I was taken back. And still till this day that ex along with others are still ringing and texting his phone. But let a man call or text me, its hell that I get from him! Sexton has gotten more and more dependent on me for any and everything. Now when he was first going through it I never once made him feel less of a man. If I wanted to go somewhere or take a trip away for the weekend I paid and we went. If I saw something while shopping that Sexton would like I purchased it. I made sure Sexton had all of his favorite toiletries and when he went shopping with me I would get him whatever he asked for. I paid for the movies, plays, lounges, concerts and dinners. I acted as if nothing was wrong and didn't belittle him at all. But it was getting more and more crazy and I was losing love and respect for Sexton daily.


The more I found out things and asked Sexton questions randomly through conversation along with talking with his family. I realized I never knew this man at all. That everything he told me and showed me was a complete lie and front in order to get me. Sexton wanted a dime piece and to be upgraded and wanted the wife or woman in his life that was all of that and then some. He got me, but I got nothing in return. I lived a celebrity life, I feel the life that Sexton always wanted to have but had back in the day on a lower status. Not to say that I am better than him. But there is a difference in being famous around fam and friends. And being popular in that sense. Me on the other hand I knew CEO's, celebrities, and a sleuth of people all over and from my many travels that I conducted business with and stayed in contact with. While Sexton didn't really have any friends that he associated with but mine. All those people I thought he knew I cannot tell you what happened to any of them and I never ever met any of his friends. That should have been a big red light!


Sexton had also stopped caring for his outer appearance coming to bed sometimes at night and not showering which grossed me out! I was now married to a child who was addicted to TV and really wasn't as close to his family as he said he was. I knew about his son, and he was not close to him at all and rarely spoke to him. I was now raising a child and with a child and no longer wanted a child from the man I had married. I was now going to work stressed and vexed. Knowing that I had made a vow and commitment to God that I would love this man wholly till death did us part. And I was tired of telling my very intimate friends and family the mess of a man I was with.


Sexton had gotten another low level paying job. When I had suggested him going for jobs I had found him that would give him some real money he gave me excuse after excuse why he could not work them and why he didn't want to work them. Sexton wasn't as clean as he once showed me in the beginning. I was beginning now to do a lot more in the upkeep and house cleaning and that was wearing me out. I could say something and then it would change for about two weeks and then he would go back leaving clothes all over the floor, papers and whatever else he didn't want to put up. If he went and cooked in the kitchen he left everything that he used on the counters and wouldn't clean it up. I would be livid! He barely took the trash out in the kitchen and the bathrooms.


When Sexton had taken this next low level paying job in another call center he had promised that he would work it for three month to catch up on some of his bills and wanted to help around the house. Let me pause here and say that I have always been a very independent woman and had never had a man pay any of my bills, rent or mortgage. Any gifts that I had received rather trips, clothing, flowers, jewelry or monies was given to me just because. Not because I was in need. I have never used a man and will not tolerate a lazy man or a man that mooches off me or not take care of himself or responsible.


Sexton had worked this job and bills that he had promised to pay didn't get paid. The water and electricity were cut off, and this had sparked a huge argument! I had never once had my utilities shut off! Sexton was going to work and before he could even sit down he would turn the flat screen on and take his shoes off and watch TV. It was too much for me. I had hired a cleaning service to come clean my home three times a week because it was wearing me out. And then I had to have the cleaning service come six days a week except for Sunday. Sexton was buying small things. Mostly keeping his cell phone paid and had purchased two new phones to keep up with technology because I had upgraded twice so he wanted what I wanted. And of course this would be most of his check so food, household supplies was placed on back burner. He would take me out here and there. Thinking that he was doing a good thing. He wasn't, I was not happy. I had decided that I could no longer live with a slob so I moved into the second bedroom with my clothes already being in there. I knew that Sexton would not leave the bedroom. Did I fail to mention that Sexton was very stubborn? Well yes he is!


We were now living as roommates and I would only sleep in the same bed with Sexton when I wanted sex. As much as I wanted to date and go hang out with other men. I cherished my vows and didn't cheat on him. This worked out for us for five months. We seemed to get along a lot better and Sexten was doing better. But not for toooo long he had gotten fired from hanging up on someone. I had had it. It was time, it was time to make a move. They say never kick a dog when he is down. But how long do you hang around when you know it is over? How long do you support someone who will not support themselves or stand up for themselves? Sexton was wearing me out and everything was on me. Paying a utility here and there and laying up with me was nothing. Sexton had now become my assistant. He ran my errands,cooked, cleaned when I asked him. What did I need that for? I didn't. I was tired, tired of doing the right thing. Constantly apologizing. Constantly giving to him and supporting him, any and every time he got into any fix I was the one who had to fix it. I was breaking out, I was losing my zest my outgoing energy because he wanted me home and would ring my phone when I was gone. So I was caught up again from doing the right thing and also trying to save my sanity!


There were times that Sexton would give me his debit card so that I could pick up a few things. He had it set up that when he would use his card he would immediately get a text message telling him what was spent. He would call me every time I used it or purchased something. I got tired and honestly really didn't need him to help me with anything. So I never asked him again, and in the end I would end up giving him the money back because he would need things.


It was now going on two years soon of our anniversary and let me state for the record. Christmas, valentines day, and our anniversaries I didn't get anything from Sexton! And of course I had stopped giving to him as well. If he had it then get it yourself. I was providing shelter, food, paying utilities and I felt that was more than enough. He drove this luxury car and he had to pay his insurance and gas. I no longer helped him. I had pulled back on taking us both out, and going to events. If I was invited out somewhere I went alone. Sexton no longer wanted to go now calling my friends fake. Truth was that he had nothing in common with them and was ashamed that he was about nothing and couldn't hold a conversation with them. He mostly found himself agreeing and asking questions and then making himself look totally stupid and embarrassing the hell out of me. If you have to tell a man what to wear, how to dress, and shave to go out as far as I was concerned was not on the level and a child in my opinion.


Every time I looked at how pitiful he was I was close to making my decision. Throughout our marriage I never told his fam how he had been doing or that he was not doing his part. But I did confide in his dad telling him everything that was going on and I told him that I was past tired and it was time for me to move on. He fully understood my plight and told me that he wished me the best and I would always be his daughter. And with that I had begun divorce proceedings.


I wasn't really sure how things would go so the only thing I could do was sit down and talk to him. We had spoke about separating before.


“I don't think we are working anymore. I don't want to speak on what you are not doing and myself as well. I would just like to end it as soon as possible.” Sexton had turned his face and looked out the window. We were sitting in the open loft where we watched TV and I had entertained a lot before we had gotten to the ugly part of our marriage.

“What do you want to do?”
“I would like you to move out.”

“I don't have anywhere to go.”

“Well I will do one last thing for you and that is get you a studio apartment and pay the rent for three months. That should give you time to get yourself together. I will of course pay for the divorce. You brought nothing into the marriage and we have no real assets. No cars no children. So we can just split irreconcilable differences.”

“That's how I want it.”

“What happened?”
“I don't want to get into that. I really don't. If you can just pack up your things we can go ahead and move you into the apartment.” Tears had started to fall from his eyes. I knew that Sexton knew what had happened. That we were not a fit and that he had failed me and himself in many ways. I was tired of doing the right thing for the wrong reason and being the one who got screwed constantly by his behavior and not wanting to get his act together. I was over it! Sexton had no ambition, no hustle and would be okay just where I had found him a place to live. And that was a room with a mattress to sleep on and a TV he wanted nothing more than that.

“Do you still love me?”

“I have love for you. But if we get into all of that it will make everything more difficult and harder. And that is the last thing I want for us. We have had conversation upon conversation over and over and have not gotten to the bottom of anything nor resolved anything. I am stressed out and it's apparent we are not on the same level anymore. What more is there for us? I am moving one way and so are you.”

“I love you very much Mel. I always will.”

“Thank you.”

“I hope that we can be friends.” I now had turned my head.



Sexton and I had talked and the conversation was starting to get ugly. I had walked out of what use to be my room the master suite and walked into my office and had shut the door. I had turned the surround sound on and threw a CD in the player and listened to some smooth jazz. I was done.


When I had awaken from my sleep and walked down to the kitchen to make coffee. I was waiting for Sexton to come and get some. But he had never showed up. I walked back upstairs and the door was a jarred. When I pushed the door open I peeped in and noticed that Sexton was gone. The closet doors were open and it looked as if he had packed his things and left. I looked through the drawers and the bathroom and yes all of his things were gone. He had to have gotten all of his things and moved in the middle of the night. I was relieved. I had immediately called a locksmith to change the locks and the key code to get in to the entrance of my home. I changed the ADT password. And I had got on the phone closing credit card accounts. I had no longer shared any banking or checking accounts with Sexton. The cleaning service was on there way. And Once they were done I was going to move back into my room. When I went into my office I had sat down and found an envelope with my name on the front of it.


“I had decided not to take you up on the offer of helping me with the apartment. I will be okay. You can send the divorce papers to David's office I will be staying with him. I wish you the best. Sexton”


And just like that my nightmare of my first marriage and the woes and stress ended without any major drama....or so I thought.


When we went to divorce court Sexton had decided that he wanted to fight to make the marriage work and contest it. Then it came down to him suing me for spousal support. And I fought tooth and nail not to pay and brought up the many times he had gotten fired and the bills he had paid and the car and clothes he had come into the marriage with. The few suits I had given him and the trips were gifts. I had hired a tough attorney who I was very close with and had won all of his cases except for three in his whole career. And those were the three he already knew he would not win because he knew they were shady clients.


Something that could have taken one court date had stretched out over three months of pain and torture. With Sexton trying to hold on instead of move on. All he did was incur attorney fees which I was not paying at all. And in the end I won the case. And after I celebrated with a trip to Greece, taking one of my many suitors. No it wasn't sexual it was friendly and fun. I immediately went into therapy to forgive myself and Sexton. I worked out even more, and I did a lot of shopping. More therapy.



Now here after seven months have gone by and feeling good about myself and actually placed my first marriage on the serious back burner. I don't speak of it, I don't answer questions about it and I do not tell anyone that does not know me or knows me and didn't know about me being married about the ordeal. In my brain it never happened. That is how I got over it and moved on which was not as hard as I thought it would be. I was just happy that I didn't put or waste more time than I did. Almost three years and just like that it was over. I had gotten back into the swing of things and was comfortable dating, back to doing me and enjoying me and the next man I marry I will be sure to get to know him first!


I was out and about having lunch on the patio with a close friend of mine. We were sort of rekindling our date life. We had known each other for years and knew each other very well but never had gone out on a real date. We had hung out and traveled together many times. Just no romantic vibes between us. And just like that we had decided to go on a real date. Life is funny you know. And just as he had me laughing Sexton had walked up to our table.


“Hey Mel, how are you?” I was very surprised to see him. We hadn't spoken in a year. We didn't speak to each other through that long tedious court proceeding.

“I'm fine and you?”

“I'm good.”

“Sexton this is Jeremy Stone a very dear and close friend of mine.” They reached out and shook each others hands.

“I remember meeting you a while ago. I think it was at a cocktail party that Bryant had hosted.”

“Yeah now that I recall you two have met.”

“Well it's nice meeting you again.”

“Do you mind if I have a word with Mel?”
“Sure go ahead. I was just about to excuse myself and go to the men's room.” And as I watched Jeremy walk away. And Sexton had sat in his chair.

“You look great, I mean really great. How has things been going?”
“Well and ...what's up Sexton?”
“I wanted to thank you for all of the good things you gave for me and being there for me. I was ...well it doesn't matter. I know that you are destined for so many great things and I wish you the best. I apologize for the madness I took you through in the divorce. I can't stop thinking about you.”

“Well I accept your apology and wish you the best.”

“I appreciate that...well um, you have a great lunch and may I call you sometimes?”

“I will call you if your number is the same.”

“It is....well I will talk to you soon I hope.” And he got up and walked away.




I moved on with life, as I should. I never saw Sexton after that day. Not once did I pick up a phone to call him nor did he pick up a phone to call me, text or email. I had heard from his father that he was in a small apartment barely making it. That he was dating women here and there but none in his opinion had matched up to me. He said that he was taking menial jobs here and there and mostly stuck to himself. This sounds about right, the life that he really wanted to lead. His father said he also seemed to age over night. He had quit working out and had put on a little weight. Said it didn't look bad on him. And he also let his hair grow into locks. That part I couldn't imagine. But for the most part he was okay. Me, well me on the other hand had bought a home down in Atlanta, well in a suburb outside of the A. Jeremy and I had been together for two years and were looking forward to the birth of our first child. I was very excited! Jeremy was a great husband and was the type of man I should have been with and wanted all along Tall, dark and even handsome. He was a business man with ambitions and had a very creatives mind and brought a lot to the table and showed me a few new things. Not all stories turn out so well. But if you ever get tired of being tired and you get tired of doing the right thing and it is wearing you out because no one appreciates it. Just think of me, think of my story and know this that there is always something better for you and you deserve the best no matter what.


“Just Toy”

Written Expressions

3/2012

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