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MATURE CONTENT 

scroll down under the foreword to

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Atlanta Readers  series

Dirty Dirty South

 

FOREWARD 

As a writer you come to see, find, seek, learn are taught, evaluate, calculate, observe. And develop into so many things, consciously and unconsciously. You will also see and notice a lot of things that dwell on the inside of you. Which also able you to see and discern things in others.

Writers tend to think and analyze and at times if not more than not a lot. They also can over analyze things and not see the big picture, or see too much of the big picture. Very oxymoron isn’t it?

In growing, failing, falling, not listening, not living or loving as I should have in my life. At times being so critical of those around me, as well of myself. I decided to write on something that I have been battling for most of my life. And not place myself behind any character, just be “me” To relate the true and inner me, rather that be too much for some to handle, or not enough. Rather it comes across unattractive to some. Words do speak volumes. And writers share their lives, hopes, dreams, desires, wants and needs in their writing. They tell you who they really are. Even if I take a story of what someone has given me, and I write in a novel. And places and people, scenes have changed. But the story is still conveyed. It is the ultimate decision of the writer to take you where he/she wants you to go. They have placed themselves in Alpha Omega Syndrome. They are the beginning and the end for you, it was done their way.

Because of my journey, things I have experienced, and honestly read about. They took me to all sorts of places and desires. Then there were the things that I seen, and that placed me on an entire different level with what I desired. And once I actually felt and gone through some of those things. It was then that certain vice’ and subconscious and un-subconsciously I DESIRED to have certain things and want certain things.

Let me elaborate and now get to the point of this. I was speaking to a friend of mine, telling them that if someone told you to choose your favorite food. And told you , you had to eat twice a day for a month. Afterwards you would not want to see, smell, or even taste that dish for a very long time because you had it so much. They agreed, well, in my journey of life, some of what makes me the way, and has shaped some of me in my life. It has been my SEXUAL PROWESS. And because I have been a woman who didn’t have inhibitions of or whom I was. There was no fear in expressing it verbally, showing it or giving it. Not to the point that I was or have been with thousands of men!! No, no, no. But it is a root of addiction. And I was conscience in not spreading myself thin and having sex with anyone who asked or who was attracted to me, or I them.

My journey, some things I went through as a child and a teenager. I took the wrong path with certain decisions in my life. Not truly paying attention, staying in a betwixt set of surreal emotions. Some that had me bamboozled in my way of life, or a portion of it.

As I was telling you the conversation I was having with a very close friend about eating the same thing for a month. Well, I had come to live in a place where it was overwhelming for me. And I saw myself in all of the same shenanigans, but like it was my past and I was re-living it. Like the thing (sex) I never had issues with. That is until I came to the city of Atlanta. There were people like me to the twenty-fifth power. There were people who were not afraid to ask for it, do it to whom and as many times as they liked. Here it was when I saw myself, an image, a likeness, (strong likeness) of how I PERCEIVED things. How it was okay to be who I was, because I had control and decorum. Or so I thought.

When I came to Atlanta, it was as if I had stepped into Las Vegas, everything here was legal. Even though call girl rings and prostitutes were arrested. Even though you can’t walk down the street with a drink in your hand like you can Las Vegas. The mood, the conversation, the looks, the vibe, it is very sexual. And it made me see me in so many people, and that it was so much that I was now, a woman who is sexual. Get totally turned off by all the vulgarity of it all. Not wanting to deal with me, my temptations, (and I would love to do that) off! I was now getting angry and peeved by the many men who approached me, by the many men who I had told more than several times I didn’t want to sleep with them. It was mad crazy for me!

I know about a lot of writers/authors in the literary world that write sexual trysts, stories, novels, romance, XXX literature. For me, that would have been to easy. And not what I felt would truly be me. Even as sexual and open as I am, I could not fasten myself to just write sexual literature. Again, please, this is to no disrespect to those writers/authors that do. There is a audience for all types of writers. I have written sexual things, poems, but it is still a subject that is not always comforting to me to write. How many times can you write about doing someone in different places and relationships? For me, my calling was into writing things that would make one think. Real talk, real issues, things we question ourselves about. When I write, I read, and I teach to myself as well. So I am the choir.

It is funny how you can be, live, sleep and eat in one place. And do all the same things you have done all your life. And go somewhere else and do the same exact things. But you are now seeing you, yourself in a different light. ????? This is not to say that people do not live by their lust in other cities, states, countries or Islands. And that people are not off into some crazy or menacing things other places. It was just that when I saw an image of myself to the hundredth power, I had to teach, preach and reevaluate myself and the things I thought and felt. I learned so much more of myself, people I came across in my journey in Atlanta saw and shown me so many things of myself, truths that hurt, and truths that were extremely real. And not all of these lessons were given in or around the sexual genre. No not all, I worked on improving me as a person. And saw a lot of my flaws. And a lot of my walls and guards and selfishness. But that is another story.

So I write this time with no characters, no short stories or novels, no poems. And I have been privileged and blessed to write a weekly column that I will post once the original is written on other websites. So that maybe, just maybe someone somewhere out there will understand, see, feel, and be open to the lyrical café I bring from the heart.

Maybe it will assist in one seeing themselves as I take them on a journey, a rediscovery if you will. Because in the end, all the things you enjoy doing. All the things rather they are good or bad. Some of them as you grow and put away “those childish things” you will do less of, if not ever at all. I have met a few senior citizens that play tennis, but never and not to the velocity that they did when they were young. I have met some senor citizens that are on hard drugs as well. But they don’t get high like they use to. Some things you shed is what I am saying. Some people do push it to the wire. While others grow and say “I have had enough” Now I am not saying that I will no longer have sex. Because I do want to with my husband. I am only stating that some things do have to come to and end. Rather that be clubbing, hanging with friends all the time, always at the bar, playing professional sports, you get my meaning.

I have a deeper mission here. And because this issue (column) comes from home (me) I feel what better person given the opportunity to format an article one a week about how “some of us” view sex. And why do we run so hard towards it? Why do we lust so much for it? Why does it rule so much in some of our lives? And how and where does the addiction, want, desire and need come from? Where does the journey start for a lot?

Thank you for you time, God bless……

“Just Toy”

Written Expressions

4/2009

 EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE  

 

DIRTY  DIRTY  SOUTH

 

EPISODE ONE

 

 

I will so miss this city of perversion!  I can truly say that I have really had a true epiphany, a deep look within inside of myself, and I have learned what is so truly and dearly important to me living in Atlanta

 

When I got here it was so adventuress and inviting!  I was so wondering how I would make my mark here.  What type of people would I meet here?  And the thing that I loved the most was, “No one really knows me here” It was like I had been giving carte blanche to act and be who I was. Who would a person go to find out anything about me but me?  Clean slate, no past lives.  Not here.

 

However it would soon be just a mask, smoked glass with mirrors deep inside of my own soul.  I would see me in so my people.  And I would see how what I enjoyed consumed people like fire!  Little did I know I was now living in the land of the lustful.  The men and the women had a different vibe about them.  Where I lived originally, you would meet people of course who were from other places, why of course.  However, Atlanta was like New York if you will.  A melting pot of sorts.  Now not only am I speaking of people who were from different backgrounds and cultures.  I am speaking of those who were from other states.  Florida, Mississippi, Alabama, Texas, Louisiana (mostly New Orleans victims of Hurricane Katrina) Tennessee, Virginia, New Jersey, New York (Harlem, Bronx, Brooklyn, Long Island) D.C., Connecticut, California (Bay Area-LA County) Michigan (Detroit) Illinois (Chicago) and Texas. There were people from other states there of course, but they didn’t come close to the overwhelming amount of the people that had moved here to the city of Atlanta like the states I have mentioned. These people came in a staggering amount.

 

In my first encounter with a man, he was much older than me; I was 39 years old when I made my move to Atlanta, the land of the lust.  My youngest daughter and I were at the bus stop, I had not acquired my car as of yet.  And within the fifteen minutes we waited for the bus, three cars pulled over and asked us if we needed a ride.  We were both very shocked, I begin to question if I was looking like a prostitute or some cheap floozy!  Mind you my daily attire when I am out is 4” to 6” heels.  I have worn high heels ever since I was eighteen, I am 5”1 ½.  Don’t forget the half!

 

My daughter and I looked at each other, her being nineteen at the time.  Men honked their horns, and some may have even pulled over and gotten out of their vehicle to come speak.  But never had I had any persons to this capacity pull over and ask if I wanted a ride in a time span of fifteen minutes!

 

Men also noticed the difference in my appearance here.  I guess there really is no label you could place on me style.  I do not like being categorized, and do not enjoy placing others in a box either.  So just for the sake of argument, let us throw some things in the pot.  Vintage funky, bohemian, glamour I would say that I gave some pretty good analogies. So I guess to see a woman dress with what I would like to consider “jazzy flair” was not of the norm.  Most of the women did not dress the way I did.  Which is why a lot of people asked me if I was from New York.

 

In befriending a man here, because I thought he was so beautiful and attractive.  The body of an Adonis with a smile that could stop traffic and get anything he wanted from a woman! I saw some seedy things that he was into.  And I had spoke to him a few couple of times of the bright future he could have if he stopped what he was doing.  He appreciated me just speaking with him, and so the courtship on his end had begun.  I may have been living in my studio apartment for two months at this time.  I will call him “Stan”

 

Stan had now started to stop by my place, looking, waiting for me to come in or out of my place.  And he seemed to always know when I was coming or going.  Like clock work he would appear.  Dazzling me with this Colgate smile and giving me tasty dialect because he was an extremely intelligent and astute young man.  Yes, he was five years younger than me.  And my lust had begun to rise deep from within. 

 

I had convinced myself that celibacy would be the best thing for me; I too had a thing for bowing down to the lust of my flesh.  Sex was a drug to me.  Tired, happy, angry, depressed.  What better way to get over the angst of my emotions?  What better way to feel good and get high at the same time?  Sex was and is a dangerous drug for me.  And a person that has a form of this addiction plays sex like a weapon.  But never getting so wrapped up in a person because the encounters we have had are wonderful. I have never been the type of woman to this day to get so blinded by sex that I will stay in a relationship that maybe harmful to my psyche or physical being.  Too many men out in the world to endure any type of emotional torture and stay because he is pleasing my flesh. 

 

I had to keep speaking to my inner lustful being, so that it could calm down and not get involved.  I had been celibate for up to four months by this time.  This is excellent for someone such as me. However Stan was getting a little close and I was now starting to get involved with what he took as my caring nature to be more than what it actually was.  There are some people who take it for what it is, and some who take it for more than what it is worth.  And this was how Stan took it. I was not looking for a man.  I just saw an individual who needed a pep talk, some encouragement and it was taken that I wanted him! I wanted him, yes. But not as my significant other!

 

So it happened, I gave in to my fleshly desires and slept with Stan.  Who was the wrong person at the wrong time, who later told me that he was bi-polar. And it seemed after he had released this information to me, it was then that I saw the side of him that was frightening.  I would come home to hear him yelling at people using profane language.  I would see how he got paranoid, how he could flip from being the sweetest person and turn into a demon if less than a second. This proved to be disastrous for me, he was now stalking me, and accusing me of being and sleeping with other men.  Mind you we had not been around each other for a long length if time.  It was my lust that had placed me in this precarious situation.  Where I had someone literally sleeping out side of my door three mornings in a row!  Someone who knew the time I would get home from work.  And I was in training stressing out, scared to call the police.  Not knowing the ramifications of his anger that he might break into my home.  There was also an incident when I came home and he was in my bathroom! He had convinced my daughter to leave her the key, saying that I had given her permission to do so.  This was a totally fabricated lie.  My daughter at this time had not gotten her cell phone as if yet.  And because she knew we were associating assumed it was okay.  This man stalked me for two weeks! 

 

While I was on my second week of training, I was then hit on by a very much married man, wedding band and all. He was a bit younger than me.  “I just wanted you to know I think you are very sexy.  I know that I am not supposed to say anything to you.  But I just wanted to you to know.” Shocked and bamboozled, I looked directly at his wedding band.  Looked back into his eyes, smiled and walked out of the training room.  I was not the only person he had hit on, there were many he had had sex with and flirted with. He was indeed caught up in the illicit sexual domain of his lustful wants.

 

And when I rode the trains, walked the streets, I shopped.  It was endless!  This is not to say that I feel I am the most beautiful girl in the world!  And I had not ever been hit on or flirted with before.  However, this was out of control! To be lusted after with such velocity was extremely overwhelming!  And here I thought that it would take time for me to find some man to approach and want to get TO KNOW.  They were all throwing themselves at me!

 

Knowing that there is a problem with me in this capacity, I was now seeing things differently.  I am an aggressor, but one thing I do loathe is for a man to hound me about sleeping with him.  Sexual persistence and insistence is indeed a major turn off for me.  And these men I had encountered so far were not interested in what I had to offer as far as my persona.  The inner me, they were interested in getting me on my back.

 

The third week of my training we were now being sent to the actual building we would report to.  Here it was, my first day around my colleagues, my first day in the break room.  And as I walked out, I see a very attractive man staring my way.  Now my alter ego says that I am the most wanted and beautiful woman in the world. And there is no other woman that can love or take care of a man like me.  And sure I have come to believe this to a certain extent.  Taking the ego out of the situation about being the most beautiful woman in the world, however this man was staring with no hesitation! I looked beside and behind me, thinking there was someone else near me he was staring at. And then he winked Hmmmm….I thought to myself.  Later on that day, when lunch came around he made it a point to come and speak to me.  In doing so he whispered, “Mmph, you are absolutely beautiful and a very sexy woman.  I love your lips.  Makes me just want to kiss you.”  My mouth fell open.  Please understand and know that I am a charmer, a flirt, assertive, aggressive.  So far from shy I am not.  However, in all of my frolicking around I use decorum.  There is a time and a place for everything.  And a place and time to do things, we all have walked on a wild side here and there.  If it is far from whatever barriers, whelms, morals, standards. Then it can be a walk on the wild side.  And some even say this when referring to trying different foods, vacations, or even riding on the back of a motorcycle.  So yes there are some things I have down in my life that would be the “wild side” for me.

 

Atlanta, so beautiful, different, new, warm and inviting, I stayed in awe. Atlanta was also a place where it seemed to house much more than other places I had been too and felt the vibe and energy. I could roughly say that at least 85% of the women here had been with another woman. That the statistics were very high with men of the “down-low” living double lives because they do not want anyone to know they are attracted to men.  The lesbians, gay men, transsexuals, and the swingers, open bi-sexuality.  It as if these people were living in a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah! It was like Las Vegas, the only thing you could not do was walk out in public with an alcoholic beverage in hand.  The sexual liberated thinking of this city was far more different where I was raised.  We did not have (still don’t) clubs that you can actually go to, pay a fee, get in and have your choice of man or woman!  A swingers club?  Not by a long shot.  The women and men were greedy for sex here, they gave it, wanted it, needed it, and it didn’t seem to matter how they got it.  Of course I am not saying that all of Atlanta was this way. However, I hold it high in the 85 percentile.  There was not one person that I did not meet that did not have sex on the brain.

 

So what was on my brain?  How did I deal with it? What did I actually starting to feel by the valley of the lust? Well, that’s my time, and my space for this column.  Until next time, episode two of Erotic Cities The Flip-Side will be coming soon.

 

Just Toy Written Expressions

5/2009

 

 

  

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE

 

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

 

EPISODE TWO

 

 

Atlanta a city that was placed on the map because the Olympics was hosted there.  This is what I refer to as the “gold-rush” era.  In the 90’s is when so many people from everywhere came to attend the festivities and watch the various sporting events. 

 

Atlanta had to prepare for this, so the city built hotels all over the place!  In the suburbs and of course there were a lot erected around and by the airport.  It was like this city had resurrected of some sort.  Of course Atlanta is the capitol of Georgia. So here comes all of these new visitors seeing the beauty of Atlanta, housing was cheap, the land beautiful. The place friendly, so now people were making moves form the “big city” down to the south.  Major corporations had moved their headquarters to Atlanta. Of course they all saw the potential, and they (Atlanta) had to provide jobs for these millions of people whom had flocked there. 

 

Then there was Freak Nik, what started off as a spring break event hosted and promoted by a popular DJ.  He had the right connections to get Hip-Hop artist to come and perform in the city of Atlanta.  He had no set place for the event; it was given at various places all over the city. Mostly parking lots or parks.  Of course this event had a city permit.  Here the college kids (which whom it was for) Clarke University, Morehouse, Spellman, and all other colleges and Universities could kick back and have a great time.  They were able to come see live performances from some of the top artist in Hip-Hop.

 

Now what ended up happening was that word had spread of Freak Nik, and you now had not only college students from Atlanta coming to Freak Nik, but you had other teenagers coming from other states to attend the festivity.  However, as Freak Nik grew in its popularity, it attracted adults in their early twenties late twenties and their thirties. Of course we all know what goes on at spring break with young kids.  Drinking, drugs, and sex, so now everyone would like to test the waters and have a free for all.

 

I was astounded when I spoke to men that actually made their vacation plans around Freak Nik.  How they spoke of the illicit sex that was had by many right their in the daylight! Women stripping, drinking, women fondling each other, exchanging oral favors with the men,  young men and older (too old for that scene)  drinking and acting out from seeing all that flesh. Can you imagine the eroticism that went on?  This had now gotten way out of control.  It was no longer about the free concerts, it was now to the point that people were gathering in various places, taking up parking lots where no one was able to get in or out of the parking light.  Men walked around with guns, women were being raped, and also gang raped.  Calls were made to the police to come break up the disruptive behavior.  Of course there was smoking and selling of drugs, and both sexes drunk out of their minds.  This was an event that the men could ask outwardly and very forward could they have sex. 

 

It had hit the fan, Freak Nik had caused riots, and it was banned from the city of Atlanta.  They have spoken about bringing it back here. But it left such an atrocious taste in her mouth (Atlanta) she was now something she never ever wanted to be, a hoar, and prostitute. 

 

And during the five year stint of Freak Nik, more explorers had moved there.  How wonderful for the many women and men in Atlanta.  I was always told the positive and wonderful things about the city. How artsy it was, how beautiful, how easy it was to start a business, how easy the hustle was, the land of plenty, cheaper housing, more for your money.  The men were respectful, (really?) and the list goes on and on. 

 

I believe that things can leave forever a bad taste in ones mouth, example; the Holocaust, slavery, crack, Reganomics, AIDS, the black plague, the Bush administration.  Bad memories, unhealthy times and weights to carry for so many of us.  Well for over the 8 million people that had moved there, woe unto them. Women and men were having illicit affairs everywhere.  Marriages were breaking up because the women and men were so lose with themselves.

 

And because of the unattractive energy Freak Nik left upon the city.  A place where she was graced to serve the world Olympics ruined!  Ruined by sex, lies, and so many raw tales of what goes on there.

 

Freak Nik in Atlanta was devastating, had all these people thinking and feeling it was okay to express them selves when and where they wanted.  I moved to Atlanta in 2006, so I was far from the Freak Nik days.  And here were people acting as if the festivity still reigned upon the city of women and men there. 

 

THE COMPANY I WORKED FOR

LUST & NO SHAME

 

There was a man that was fired from the company before I got there for receiving oral copulation from a woman that worked there. She was giving him oral sex in the parking lot of the job!  There were women and men sneaking off at lunch and having sex at the nearby park, and inside cars. Supervisors would be fired if they had any relationships, friends and anything else with employees.  They could not fraternize with anyone that was a customer service representative of the company.  Of course this stopped none of them.

 

A lady who was a supervisor was having and affair with a young man seven years her junior there.  She was thirty-six.  She gave him money, she let him get away with tons of things, and they hung out after work.  Went on trips, and she was his supervisor.  She had been with this company for years, and she had a lot to lose being in the throes of such madness.  But she was hooked, hung up by her lust for this young man.  I heard she had screwed quite a few dudes at the company.  And if I were judging from outer appearances, she would not be my choice of a woman that I would have sex with (if I were a man).  However she did have a beautiful personality. However the kind, loving, warm and sensitive woman that she claimed to be was living a double life!  She would quote Bible scriptures and sing of Gods goodness and mercy.  (And I have no problem with that at all)  However in the same breath would be sending pictures of her in compromising positions, clothing, and body parts to the men that worked in the office with us.  How do I know? I seen them, and a supervisor she wanted so bad told me of the illicit photos and as well showed me what she had sent him.  It was not attractive to me, for a woman to want a man so bad, only having his number because “he” being a new supervisor was told to exchange numbers with his fellow supervisors.  Only to be sent pics of her private parts.

 

She threw herself to many men there in the company, the confusing part for me was.  Why would you want to speak on God and put yourself in a bad light?  We are all suppose to lead by example, you cannot do that of you are the opposite of what you speak.  Well, of course this is my opinion. 

 

There were so many episodes of how vicariously I lived  my crazy want and need for sex.  I mean I guess one could call me a siren, I loved flirting, but I just could not be so open with so many at one time. Well, let me correct that. I have had lovers, men that I have dated.  And I have dated more than one man at a time.  I just did not do it with five to six men working, living, and playing on or in the same playground.  When Toy does, Toy  makes it an effort not to confuse one man with another. And not to “cross breed” or “pollinate” those in close proximity of one another.  Why?  Who needs to know all of my business?  How and what I enjoy doing?  It seems to me we can (or for those who can) be at times promiscuous.  And yes I have been a busy little beaver, but not with the CEO, the COO and three to four of my co-workers that are present in the office.  I am an adult, and refuse to have someone wagging their tongue about my fetishes and fantasies. I figured they were all talking about me, curious about my sexuality, the women probably feeling me or not feeling me.  Jealous or not jealous, I exuded I know a sexual aura about myself.  So let I them eat cake! By the way I had not  been, or had a casual sexual experience with anyone at any job that I worked at…Until…but I will get there.

 

It seems to me that when some people get caught up in the sexual liaisons of the flesh they start off with what they feel maybe “undercover” and then some how, some way, they begin to start slipping up and now many people know the “erotic” side of you.

 

There were of course the down-low men that worked in the company.  Of course men are jaded by other men that may have what they don’t have.  The same way it goes with women, and let me state for the record.  I am not the individual that labels men as “dogs” neither are women “bitches”.  See in my eyes I feel that one sex is not worse than the other.  There are men and women in prison and jail for the same crimes.  They of course are just housed separately at different facilities, and because of how some are so sexual and can not reframe from being sexual.  What happens?  They turn to each other, those who may have never ever thought of being with the same sex.  And some have life ten, twenty-five years or more.  Well, who wants to not have sex all those years? (Hmm?)

 

There have been many writers and authors that have written books, articles, and have spoke on live TV (taped) of the down-low men that are living in Atlanta.  I have been told by many that if there were any undercover, of course no one knew.  There were no openly gay people living in Atlanta.  But all of a sudden it became what some would like to say the “gay mecca” and by the looks of things it does seem to be so.  I have nothing against gays or lesbians, and those who crossover to the same side of those burning sands.  I do have an issue with women and men who can not be honest about their sexual desires.  One should not have to experience death or some STD because you indulge in such lust.

 

Well of course there were some men who I questioned their sexuality if you read the Episode One of the Dirty Dirty South.  Then you can recall the gentleman that had told me he wanted to kiss me.  And this was his first time meeting me and introducing himself to me. Well, he was very down-low, or was he?  I mean he openly flirted with men and women right in front of my face! Talk about bold!  However he would deny that he liked men, “we” all said that his best friend and he were lovers because they stayed up under each other all the time at every waking minute.

 

There was a younger guy that worked there who was a sharp dresser, very cocky, arrogant, overly bold, and had an extreme crassness with the words he used.  It was as if he never thought before he spoke.  I had many incidences where he would speak the foulest things to me in a flirtacous manner.  He was extremely aggravating, and this went for most of the women that worked there.  However of course there were some who liked how he spoke to them and would oblige him.

 

Oops, that is my time.  I will be back next week with more tales of the Erotic Cities The Flip-Side every Wednesday. And I will continue with this story…..

 

Just Toy

5/2009

 

 

 

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE

 

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

 

EPISODE THREE

 

 

 

 

It is so ironic, today as I was out and about focusing on me and the things that were in my future.  And it seems as if since I started writing this column. My eyes have seen more, and my ears have heard more.  It is the truth, I decided to go to the library and write today to get a different vibe and energy.  As I left the library, I walked a very short distance to Starbucks to grab a mocha frap. As I sat outside at one of the tables, a gentleman from Brooklyn, New York approached, his line was original, however I soon found out why he had come and spoke to me.  He asked if I had a lighter, which turned to be false.  Because as we vibing and gelled very well with our conversation, he then pulled out a lighter!

 

We talked, shared, all was great. Until the end of the great conversation, of course the conversation went to sex, as most conversations do with adults.  But this young suitor spoke that he was a very shy person.  However how does a shy person come up with a real quick way to speak to you? And how does a shy person speak about how he will have sex with you and look you in the eye?  Erotic City, here we go again. 

 

As with the last column, I promised to finish up from where I left off.  And that is with one of the most annoying men that I had suspected as being an undercover lover who is open about his attractions to women.  But not as open about his attraction to men.  I have come to notice, well in this incidence I am of course going to explain.  There are some men that are real persistent with women and have sex on the brain all the time.  Maybe you can relate this to a buddy of yours, man of course.  Maybe your brother or classmate.  Now what I am about to say is no offense to any heterosexual men. However, I am very leery of a man who sleeps sex, eats sex, looks at sex, is sex, breathes and lives his life through sex.  Are there men who have an addiction to sex?  Sure there are!  There does come a time in life where we all can not have sex on the brain, regardless in myth opinion how Dr.’s have stated how often men think of sex a day.  But when you are so persistent in your search and need for it, for me it raises a flag.  Not with all men, and not with half.  The percentile is low, however for me when a man talks about all the women he wants with you, states he wants you too.  How often he is having sex, for me it is a cover up!  Yes I said it and meant it.  It is a cover up so that know one real know that you really are attracted to men.

 

This man went overboard all of the time with his sexual lust and desires.  He pursued me relentlessly for “ass” however I then began to ask what type of sex he was asking for.  And he literally meant what he said or asked for. So that had me question his sexuality. They say there is a first time for everything, and it is indeed. But I never had a man be so insistent in asking for anal sex!  Of course the red flags are raised, and being at this company for a year and a half.  Now I have others as well as this gentleman saying he is “gay” He told me that there were people at the company that would come and tell me that he was gay.  He said he didn’t let it get to him.  Please keep in mind, I was not seeking nor wanting to know a lot about the individuals I worked with.  I wanted to have them as colleagues only; I didn’t want to hang with them after work either.  I know the person you may see at work is not the same person outside of work.  However I had so many people so willing to give the dirt on so many at the company. I knew that I would get to know them on my own and have my own perception of them. 

 

When my co-worker had revealed that he loved women too much to be with a man, too much to even consider a man.  It was over a period of three months that I had really spoken with him and seen another side of him that I was now attracted to.  No fronts are ego grandstanding, I seen this side of him after I had turned him down profusely of having sex with him. It was not until he opened himself up that he shortly went back to being the overbearing sex fiend.

 

I believe that while I was here I have dated at least three men that later made me have some thoughts that they would, could, and may have been with men.  I truly loathe when I feel as if I have been taken for a ride by anyone, and having the wool pulled over my eyes by a man in seclusion about his sexual attraction to men hurts, but bothers me more.  And here in Atlanta it had gotten blown out of the water!

 

And if you are asking had I had a sexual liaison with a man that I felt went both ways, well, yes I did.  I didn’t find out until after we had been intimate with each other.  With two of them, I later met their friends, people they worked with, and also ran into women that were now “friends” and came to me and told me stories.  Of course I immediately put the brakes on the sexual experience. I then began to investigate a little more.  And I too saw the other side that was in a so-called closet.

 

I was told so many times by so many different people about the down-low and gay men here in Atlanta.  Every man that I met seemed to be homophobic in some sort of way.  I could not have a conversation with a man here without him bringing up the subject of the gays that resided here in Atlanta and how out of control it was here.  If I were to put all the men that I had met from the time I moved to Atlanta, 70% had told me that they were hit on by a gay man.  I am not being cruel or dislike gay men; I am making a very valid point here.  The down-low population is extremely high in the city of Atlanta that gay men question most men! Why wouldn’t they?  Many of them of course lead double lives.  The infamous Piedmont Park hosts a night in the park where a lot of “heterosexual” men that are married, live with their significant other, engaged, or have a girlfriend.  These are the men that go and have these quiet affairs with openly gay men and still pursue “heterosexual” women.  And in this city of over whelming proportions, men now being more open to “try” something new.  But why pursue women with a hard velocity to where now you seem like a hound?  That every woman that passes you by, that you see, encounter, you have to say something. Because you are fighting to save yourself from the lust of being with a man.  I do not go and sleep with a lot of men because I am fighting from being with a woman.  Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex!!!! All the time as much as I can with any and every man? 

 

I was now getting more and more paranoid of dating men in Atlanta.  I had begun to look at all men with one eye brow raised.  Can you blame me?  When you have talked and spoke to men (everyone I had met) spoke on the gay men here, the down-low men.  I was hearing this more from men than women.  Which also had me questioning the fact of why in the very beginning of meeting a man they were speaking of the gays in Atlanta?  The heterosexual company I had met and kept now had their boxers in a bunch! This was a concern for them just as it was a concern for heterosexual women.  And I had met many women who knew that their husband, fiancée, or significant other slept with men.  But were so hard up to have a man in their life that they accepted it. And let’s say that’s in the same origin of women being hard up and having a man who is already taken.

 

This is not what I was down to do.  I did not want any man that wanted another man just to say I had a man.  That was a mouthful! I wanted a man who was only attracted to women, so now here lies the perplexity of my situation.  I had begun to now ask men when I first met them, “Have you ever been with a man?” “Are you bi-sexual?”  Now I was acting as the Romans, and when in Rome this is what some do.  I was slipping into the mode of offending “heterosexual” men.  Just as they pleaded their case to me in regards to women asking them the same question.  But I was asking because there were alarms going off all the time in my head.  This had nothing to do with a man having feminine ways. It is cruel to say a person has the “look” of being a lesbian or a gay man.  Now of course you can tell by the appearance of some but not all of them.

 

The openness of whatever, however you want it was out of control.  When any man or woman (not just a few) walks up to you and openly tells you what they want from you, and what they want to give to you.  I mean flirting is a beautiful thing, it truly is. I enjoy flirting and to be flirted with.  Throwing myself at someone has never ever come into the forefront of my brain.  Never have I thrown myself and my beliefs on anyone! 

 

SWINGERS

 

 

The visits I had to Atlanta prior before moving there were wonderful!  I saw grand opportunities, prime real estate, an overall better life than where I had come from.  Rent was affordable, housing, it seemed as if they were giving houses away!  There were so many places a girl like me could go and shop, eat, poetry houses, coffeehouses, lounges.  And the city overall had the largest networking group that in my opinion was unheard of! It was so much more of that bohemian flavor that I craved to be around.  People like me that wanted so much more and were not given the same opportunities where they originally lived.  Atlanta offered so many people small business loans, and the information was not hidden from the residents.  Seminars and public meetings all free, plenty of resources.

 

I had met and spoke with people that had taken a small hustle and made it into a lucrative business that has brought in a huge income. Example; I met a man that had started a business in taking seniors to the store and to their doctors appointments.  Of course they have services with the mass transit system Marta that assisted people.  But this was mostly for those with a form of disability. 

 

What started out as helping the people that lived in the neighborhood let this man purchase a van, and now he has a transportation business where he was able to quit his full-time job!  And all it took was two years to reach this echelon.

 

I also met two men who had started a cleaning service that would go clean offices that had sometimes one or two floors. I met this man online, and he worked it seemed all the time to get this business off the ground.  Later when he had sent me a hello through the website, he had pics of the new home he was building from the ground up!  It was a mansion; no way could one do that where I had come from.

 

Understand that I did not move here on a whelm just because Atlanta was a hot spot.  It took me twenty plus years to finally move here, I knew what I wanted, and I was open to do what I had to make my dreams of a better comfortable life come true.

 

So now I will share with you some things that I later found out after moving here.  I was told by quite a few that if I was invited to a club called “Trapeze” not to go.  Well the party life, night life, club life was not in my social scheme anymore.  Atlanta is very popular for its party life.  I asked what was this club, and I was told it was a swingers club.  A swingers club?  Really?  You can pay to walk into a club and have sex?  This was unheard of from where I came from.  We had no such things.  And these clubs like the Trapeze were many and legal!  I was shocked and very surprised.  And the people took it as if this was normal!  How can a place that was considered a part of the Bible belt, that didn’t serve liquor out of any store on Sunday have swinger clubs???

 

Well, my time is up again.  Tune in next week for the many lives of swing Dom.  Erotic Cities The Flip-Side every Wednesday! 

 

“Just Toy”

5/2009

www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com

 

 

 

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE

 

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

 

EPISODE FOUR

 

 

SWINGERS CONTINUED

 

 

 

Swinging is nothing new, orgies is what they are called.  However swingers are those who live openly with their mate if they have one.  They have a clear understanding that they can host parties themselves, or go to parties and their spouse or significant other can have sex with anyone they want to.  Seems like a great arrangement if you truly have a partner that is not insecure and has just as an open mind as you are.  You can have as many men and women as you can stand and go home and be happy!  Sounds good doesn’t it!  And if it works for you, then I say go for it.

 

Now there was one day that a very close friend of mine and I were sitting in her living room.  I was on the laptop looking up some things and I said, “You know I want to go see what a swingers club is like.” She said, “Look on the internet and see if you can find a place we can go to.  I want to see what it is like too.” We went, and it was very have eerie and different, all these people were here to have sex!  And it felt as if I was on an auction block. My girlfriend, myself, and one of my ex’s had come along; he drove us to our destination.  

 

Though we did not participate, my ex was all engrossed at the party. I had found myself going to these swingers set two more times, and still I did not participate.  Is it because it was so dark and eerie there?  I think so, and after that, I had never gone back.  It was not my cup of tea, or was it?

 

The company I had worked for was experiencing a seasonal down time.  And when they had this seasonal down time the company would send people home because it was slow. I was on the list to be sent home early as so were others.  One of my co-workers had offered me a ride to the train station.  As we drove the streets of Atlanta, she asked me if I would mind if she stopped by her father’s house with her.  I had no pressing engagements at the time, so as we talked and shared we soon pulled up in front of her father’s home. 

 

When we pulled up I was so impressed by the outside of the home, and even more impressed with the décor of the inside.  Her father and his significant other were warm welcoming and inviting.  I felt a different energy when he looked at me or spoke to me.  At the time I could not place my finger on it.  But he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, well not that comfortable.  Was his significant other feeling the strange vibes I was feeling?

 Later there was a younger gentleman that had come into the house.  Not an appealing man, well not to me.  However he was impeccably dressed and when he came into the sunroom which we were all sitting.  He handed me a flier, I looked at it.  And it was a flier to come out to a “meet & greet” I see that the flier had a woman and a man on it.  So I instantly I saw the red flag and instantly knew that it was for an adult party.  A swinger’s party!  I had told my co-workers father and the gentleman that I was not interested in coming. My co-workers father said that I would really have a good time.  And this was just a meet and greet.  I never knew that there were gatherings that were hosted for such events.  A meet and greet is not the place that the party would be held at.  It was an event where you could warm up, “get to know” the person you were attracted to and have sex with.  And to meet the people that attend the parties and were apart of the “social network group”

 

I really didn’t know how to feel at this point.  Was I being scouted out?  Was I again being placed on an auction block for someone else’s pleasure?  Did I not feel an overwhelming dysfunction when I started my job with all the men that seemed to come from nowhere pursuing me for sex?  Was this ever going to stop?

 

This is when I now understood why my co-workers father was putting the indifferent energy in the air.  One that I could not place a finger on at that moment. He and his significant other of more than four years were into sharing! 

 

When we left and were now in the car was when my co-worker explained what her father was about and the money that he had made by giving these parties.  She also revealed that she had a dislike for his lifestyle.  But she loved him none the less.  Funny, because if she was in such array of what her father was doing.  And had painted herself to be such an angel, positive, politically correct.  She may have not approved of what he was doing.  But she was a bit rambunctious herself, she had three affairs at the company and was there for a very short time.  Less than three months, and she also had a dislike for sleeping with women is what she had stated to me.  But then on the other hand, (and there is that saying never let the right hand know what the left hand is doing) she had a lust for women as well, group sex and she was also prostituted by one of the male co-workers for his out of town guest!  Of course this was something I later found out. Much later.

 

Follow me when I say this, everyone seemed to have some sort of part-time job, hustle (which they were not illegal) in the city of Atlanta.  Some were promoters, IT field, made or sold clothing, landscapers, business consultants, repairmen.  So it seems everyone had a way of making extra money.

 

There of course is a part two to all of this.  Again I rode with my co-worker to her dad’s house because she wanted to pick up a package from her fathers home.  I was not bothered by going over there again, it was exactly two weeks to the date that I had my first visit and met her father.  When I walked in the door the greeting was much more different than the last.  The last meeting her father and significant other told me of all the things they were involved in, the people that they knew, how wonderful Atlanta was, and that me being a writer they could introduce me to a lot of people that could assist me with publishing my book and how I could pay for my own barcode and copyrights that were on all books.  So my first visit was not about the “meet and greet” This was after we had an informative conversation.

 

I was first greeted by my co-workers father, he was all smiles and in a very upbeat mood.  So was his significant other.  This was the night of their event, their “party” they hosted twice a month.  Now to be very honest with you, I had now been in Atlanta for almost a year.  And I was trying to figure out how could I make “extra money”  and because so many people were sex driven here.  I was thinking of doing the same thing as the Romans were doing.  Host swinger parties, why not?  I am a very creative person, my parties were going to be adult kiddy parties with themes, adult games, food, and you could buy your drinks at my bar. I would be the Bob Barker of the party.  Like a cheerleader, I was not interested in watching nor participating, I just wanted the money.  Do you see now how I was now being pulled without thought to my present discomfort and drug (sex)?

 

They were both so excited, and this is when my co-workers father said, “You should come by tonight.  Trust me that you will have a great time.” My reply was, “I do not have any money.” “Don’t worry you will be my guest, and I will make sure that you get home.” I was now interested in coming, I wanted to see of his party was any different from the party I had gone to before. So I went home, showered and dressed down.  Nothing too flashy, and I didn’t wear any revealing clothes at all.  I purposely dressed down, the reason why because I was only going to kick back and observe.

 

They did not allow smoking in the house, so they let their guest smoke in the sunroom. I sat there most of the night, well all of the night.  As I walked in people were already there.  And it was about maybe fifteen or so people there already.  I went into the kitchen and fixed myself a drink, spoke and went into the sunroom.  I knew now that, let me give him a name, “John” (my co-workers father) wanted to have sex with me. 

 

The sunroom was directly off of the foyer by the front door.  And it seemed that the doorbell rang if not every five minutes then it was ten.  People were all smiles, happy to be there.  They were coming in droves!  I sat back and was now counting the money, I was no longer interested in watching a show, and no longer thinking of this was a den of lust.  John had to have made $1,500 or more from this party.  And as I sat there listening and observing watching people smoke and drink. I was amazed at how comfortable these people were, this was not how it was when I went to the swinger’s party back home.  This seemed more like a house party of sort.  There was music playing at an acceptable volume, people seemed to be very familiar with one another, no one was looking at anyone as if they were a piece of meet.  Hmm I thought, this is very different, and now my mind was moving quickly.  I can do this and add my own flair with this.  If these people are greedy to have hot sex on a platter, then I will give it to them!

 

At this point and time I had now officially stepped into the sexual circuit.  Let me say this, I have been behind the scenes of the entertainment business.  I started a business with exotic performers, models, and escorting business. Which turned more into a business in where I provided extras for TV shows, and models for different events. I was now linked in with Personal assistants, and various popular cable shows.  They were now all calling my phone.  I have even provided girls for recording artist music videos.  I went into this business feeling, thinking that I had a chance to put some decorum in this business.  No prostitutes, no disrespect for the women that worked with me.  Most were highly intelligent young women.  However, after a very short time in the business I had started I was now overwhelmed by the drugs, drinking, loose sex, having to mother the young girls it seems all the time.  I had promoted to different people and businesses.  So it was at his time that I had now started going to lesbian bars, had now befriended gay men who helped me in my business.  And soon was going to gay bars and clubs with men, and with my female associates. 

 

This opened up so many doors, eyes, truths and experience.  I was open with my sexuality, comfortable with my fetishes and fantasies.  However, I was not one to exhibit things so publicly.  So throwing myself and exhibiting raw behavior around a lot of people was never my thing. Affection and sneaking off somewhere in a secluded place was more my thing.  The thrill of getting caught, being spontaneous with my lover and adventuress. 

 

But too much sexual aggression is overwhelming for me.  Only because I have been a victim of rape and a child who was molested by a neighbor and my cousin. My parents knew none of this was going on.  So they say, therapist that is.  That most people who have been in that position either reframe from sex or become overly zealous with it.  I was the one who became over zealous with it.  But if I felt that you were coming on too strong as the men did here in Erotic City of Atlanta.  I was turned off and felt violated. 

 

That is my time again, it seems as if it goes so fast.  However, I will as usual pick up from whence I have left off.

 

Just Toy

5/2009

www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE

 

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

 

EPISODE FOUR

 

 

SWINGERS CONTINUED

 

 

 

Swinging is nothing new, orgies is what they are called.  However swingers are those who live openly with their mate if they have one.  They have a clear understanding that they can host parties themselves, or go to parties and their spouse or significant other can have sex with anyone they want to.  Seems like a great arrangement if you truly have a partner that is not insecure and has just as an open mind as you are.  You can have as many men and women as you can stand and go home and be happy!  Sounds good doesn’t it!  And if it works for you, then I say go for it.

 

Now there was one day that a very close friend of mine and I were sitting in her living room.  I was on the laptop looking up some things and I said, “You know I want to go see what a swingers club is like.” She said, “Look on the internet and see if you can find a place we can go to.  I want to see what it is like too.” We went, and it was very have eerie and different, all these people were here to have sex!  And it felt as if I was on an auction block. My girlfriend, myself, and one of my ex’s had come along; he drove us to our destination.  

 

Though we did not participate, my ex was all engrossed at the party. I had found myself going to these swingers set two more times, and still I did not participate.  Is it because it was so dark and eerie there?  I think so, and after that, I had never gone back.  It was not my cup of tea, or was it?

 

The company I had worked for was experiencing a seasonal down time.  And when they had this seasonal down time the company would send people home because it was slow. I was on the list to be sent home early as so were others.  One of my co-workers had offered me a ride to the train station.  As we drove the streets of Atlanta, she asked me if I would mind if she stopped by her father’s house with her.  I had no pressing engagements at the time, so as we talked and shared we soon pulled up in front of her father’s home. 

 

When we pulled up I was so impressed by the outside of the home, and even more impressed with the décor of the inside.  Her father and his significant other were warm welcoming and inviting.  I felt a different energy when he looked at me or spoke to me.  At the time I could not place my finger on it.  But he didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, well not that comfortable.  Was his significant other feeling the strange vibes I was feeling?

 Later there was a younger gentleman that had come into the house.  Not an appealing man, well not to me.  However he was impeccably dressed and when he came into the sunroom which we were all sitting.  He handed me a flier, I looked at it.  And it was a flier to come out to a “meet & greet” I see that the flier had a woman and a man on it.  So I instantly I saw the red flag and instantly knew that it was for an adult party.  A swinger’s party!  I had told my co-workers father and the gentleman that I was not interested in coming. My co-workers father said that I would really have a good time.  And this was just a meet and greet.  I never knew that there were gatherings that were hosted for such events.  A meet and greet is not the place that the party would be held at.  It was an event where you could warm up, “get to know” the person you were attracted to and have sex with.  And to meet the people that attend the parties and were apart of the “social network group”

 

I really didn’t know how to feel at this point.  Was I being scouted out?  Was I again being placed on an auction block for someone else’s pleasure?  Did I not feel an overwhelming dysfunction when I started my job with all the men that seemed to come from nowhere pursuing me for sex?  Was this ever going to stop?

 

This is when I now understood why my co-workers father was putting the indifferent energy in the air.  One that I could not place a finger on at that moment. He and his significant other of more than four years were into sharing! 

 

When we left and were now in the car was when my co-worker explained what her father was about and the money that he had made by giving these parties.  She also revealed that she had a dislike for his lifestyle.  But she loved him none the less.  Funny, because if she was in such array of what her father was doing.  And had painted herself to be such an angel, positive, politically correct.  She may have not approved of what he was doing.  But she was a bit rambunctious herself, she had three affairs at the company and was there for a very short time.  Less than three months, and she also had a dislike for sleeping with women is what she had stated to me.  But then on the other hand, (and there is that saying never let the right hand know what the left hand is doing) she had a lust for women as well, group sex and she was also prostituted by one of the male co-workers for his out of town guest!  Of course this was something I later found out. Much later.

 

Follow me when I say this, everyone seemed to have some sort of part-time job, hustle (which they were not illegal) in the city of Atlanta.  Some were promoters, IT field, made or sold clothing, landscapers, business consultants, repairmen.  So it seems everyone had a way of making extra money.

 

There of course is a part two to all of this.  Again I rode with my co-worker to her dad’s house because she wanted to pick up a package from her fathers home.  I was not bothered by going over there again, it was exactly two weeks to the date that I had my first visit and met her father.  When I walked in the door the greeting was much more different than the last.  The last meeting her father and significant other told me of all the things they were involved in, the people that they knew, how wonderful Atlanta was, and that me being a writer they could introduce me to a lot of people that could assist me with publishing my book and how I could pay for my own barcode and copyrights that were on all books.  So my first visit was not about the “meet and greet” This was after we had an informative conversation.

 

I was first greeted by my co-workers father, he was all smiles and in a very upbeat mood.  So was his significant other.  This was the night of their event, their “party” they hosted twice a month.  Now to be very honest with you, I had now been in Atlanta for almost a year.  And I was trying to figure out how could I make “extra money”  and because so many people were sex driven here.  I was thinking of doing the same thing as the Romans were doing.  Host swinger parties, why not?  I am a very creative person, my parties were going to be adult kiddy parties with themes, adult games, food, and you could buy your drinks at my bar. I would be the Bob Barker of the party.  Like a cheerleader, I was not interested in watching nor participating, I just wanted the money.  Do you see now how I was now being pulled without thought to my present discomfort and drug (sex)?

 

They were both so excited, and this is when my co-workers father said, “You should come by tonight.  Trust me that you will have a great time.” My reply was, “I do not have any money.” “Don’t worry you will be my guest, and I will make sure that you get home.” I was now interested in coming, I wanted to see of his party was any different from the party I had gone to before. So I went home, showered and dressed down.  Nothing too flashy, and I didn’t wear any revealing clothes at all.  I purposely dressed down, the reason why because I was only going to kick back and observe.

 

They did not allow smoking in the house, so they let their guest smoke in the sunroom. I sat there most of the night, well all of the night.  As I walked in people were already there.  And it was about maybe fifteen or so people there already.  I went into the kitchen and fixed myself a drink, spoke and went into the sunroom.  I knew now that, let me give him a name, “John” (my co-workers father) wanted to have sex with me. 

 

The sunroom was directly off of the foyer by the front door.  And it seemed that the doorbell rang if not every five minutes then it was ten.  People were all smiles, happy to be there.  They were coming in droves!  I sat back and was now counting the money, I was no longer interested in watching a show, and no longer thinking of this was a den of lust.  John had to have made $1,500 or more from this party.  And as I sat there listening and observing watching people smoke and drink. I was amazed at how comfortable these people were, this was not how it was when I went to the swinger’s party back home.  This seemed more like a house party of sort.  There was music playing at an acceptable volume, people seemed to be very familiar with one another, no one was looking at anyone as if they were a piece of meet.  Hmm I thought, this is very different, and now my mind was moving quickly.  I can do this and add my own flair with this.  If these people are greedy to have hot sex on a platter, then I will give it to them!

 

At this point and time I had now officially stepped into the sexual circuit.  Let me say this, I have been behind the scenes of the entertainment business.  I started a business with exotic performers, models, and escorting business. Which turned more into a business in where I provided extras for TV shows, and models for different events. I was now linked in with Personal assistants, and various popular cable shows.  They were now all calling my phone.  I have even provided girls for recording artist music videos.  I went into this business feeling, thinking that I had a chance to put some decorum in this business.  No prostitutes, no disrespect for the women that worked with me.  Most were highly intelligent young women.  However, after a very short time in the business I had started I was now overwhelmed by the drugs, drinking, loose sex, having to mother the young girls it seems all the time.  I had promoted to different people and businesses.  So it was at his time that I had now started going to lesbian bars, had now befriended gay men who helped me in my business.  And soon was going to gay bars and clubs with men, and with my female associates. 

 

This opened up so many doors, eyes, truths and experience.  I was open with my sexuality, comfortable with my fetishes and fantasies.  However, I was not one to exhibit things so publicly.  So throwing myself and exhibiting raw behavior around a lot of people was never my thing. Affection and sneaking off somewhere in a secluded place was more my thing.  The thrill of getting caught, being spontaneous with my lover and adventuress. 

 

But too much sexual aggression is overwhelming for me.  Only because I have been a victim of rape and a child who was molested by a neighbor and my cousin. My parents knew none of this was going on.  So they say, therapist that is.  That most people who have been in that position either reframe from sex or become overly zealous with it.  I was the one who became over zealous with it.  But if I felt that you were coming on too strong as the men did here in Erotic City of Atlanta.  I was turned off and felt violated. 

 

That is my time again, it seems as if it goes so fast.  However, I will as usual pick up from whence I have left off.

 

Just Toy

5/2009

www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pear Tree Greetings

 

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE

 

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

 

EPISODE FIVE

 

 

 

I never in my wildest dreams could understand a person that would be around those people who bring the worse out of themselves.  If a person knows that they have a drinking problem and continue to be around those who drink and bring them down.  But there are a lot of things in this lifetime that we will and have questioned other people’s actions.  Just as I have given you this example, I question myself in why would I want to give swinger parties are attend them when I know that I have a weakness with it.  And on the flip-side of that which is highly oxymoron.  I can not stand to be around sexually aggressive men and women that will not let up on the pursuing and speaking of it all the time .  And again as I state before, I do not enjoy the dark side that comes out in the sexual genre.  (the sickening things…rape, molestation, beatings, etc., etc., and other things)

 

When I had attended “Johns” swinger party, I was now motivated that I too could be good as he was in making money.  That I would put a huge and different entire twist to this “swingers game” Before I had gone back over to the dark side, knowing fully well in the recesses of my mind that I had gotten out of the entertainment business twice because it had consumed me like fire.  I had to again go and prove that I could handle it.

 

A co-worker of mine has a business where she was a consultant selling adult toys.  I had told her that I would host a party.  She was eager to plan the party with me.  However me being the person that I am, loving so gingerly entertaining and hosting small or large gatherings.  I once a VP of Marketing & promotions for a record label and I was taught by a brilliant and astute man that showed me even more in genius ways to promote and market myself and my business.  Of course was when I had started MP Entertainment.  And when you get two creative minds together it is extremely explosive! So now that I had prior experience with my own ideas, my own business, and the music business I once was (so I thought) ready to concur the same thing that got under my skin.  Why not?  .

 

MY FIRST PARTY

 

The more I sat and thought about it, I didn’t want a house full of women just sitting there at the presentation being shown dildos or lubricants.  I wanted to have a bang out time and leave an impression upon everyone. And I did.  At first I was going to have male exotic performers, but decided against that because I didn’t want the bother and I was not going to pay.  Male strippers have never been something I have or had been into.  Then I decided to have female strippers, and I decided against that.  A masquerade Mardi Gras party! My entire guest had to wear mask and black or you could not get in.  And I decorated my home like the French Quarters.  I made up all sorts of games that we would all play. And this required everyone to participate.  Upstairs in my bedrooms I had fresh towels, liquid soap, mouth wash, and condoms set out on the counters.  My place was lit up with red lights, and I later found out that there was at least 40% of my guest who were attending their first swinger’s party.  It was indeed a blast! There was a masseuse on deck to give chair massages, a person selling your toys, and you had a fully stocked bar and all types of finger foods, deserts, hor derves, and great music.  

 

I made $380 that night, which wasn’t bad.  But I was in the hole.  I had spent money on food alcohol, supplies to create and make my own decorations. Plus there were the party favors and the materials purchased to create the games.

 

I never went upstairs to see the action, I didn’t want to see any of my co-workers in that light and have that memory embedded in my brain every time I saw them. And I was asked to come watch and get involved…nope.  If I wanted to get involve with such illicit fun, I knew where I could go.  This was business. And as I stated before, I can be and just as eccentric with my thoughts and views of having a great time.  I didn’t like to things like that with people who were in my circle.  Why should I let anyone know how eccentric I am?  Would or should any woman feel wonderful if a man just so may happens to speak to some co-workers, buddies, or anyone else about the rendezvous they had with you?

 

Three weeks had gone by, and I was thinking if the first Swinger party was a huge success, (meaning everyone called and spoke of how they had a nice time) then I should go ahead and have another one.  This one was going to be called “Hollywood Swingers” all of my guest would have celebrity names, and I would make games different from the last one.  And I would have everyone wear red and black.  My bar (literally) was stocked; the music was coming through the surround sound.  I chose only to serve finger food snacks.  I had too much food left over from the last time. 

 

I was dating a man that was from a very exotic island and had the sexiest accent I had ever heard.  He was 6’4, and when we first spoke I thought he was from London, I was really trying to figure it out.  However it was a British accent.  Once I got to know him, I told him I had thrown a party before.  And that this was going to be my hustle.  Some time had gone by since the last party I had given.  And when I met “Sean” we had been dating for about three weeks, close to four.

 

Sean was excited, he had never been in are around this type of crowd.  And he wanted to experience the dark side.  I had a female stripper for this party.  Sean took me to the store helped me get everything for the party.  Decorations, liquor, face cloths that I could dispose or wash again.  He was so excited.  I was excited  for him.  Of course, he was ready to see the indulging lust that people were so easy to get involved in.

 

The party had a different set of people there. I may have had one person there that was from the last party.  This party was very nice, so I was feeling I was now getting in to the swing if you will. I was sucked up, back into the life of my “I can do this” mode.  Please understand when anyone knows they have a problem.  Some of us feel that we can be in control of the negative environment and not get caught up.  Now with me, I am not a heavy drinker, never been a hard-core drug user.  And a lot of drugs that people have tried, I have not tried.  I’m not weak for any man that delivers great sex and I will get caught up in any abusive type behavior from anyone.  It does not matter how wonderful a lover.  And you also can not have sexual relations with any and all all of the time. For me it is having the right person than you can be with. Knowing that getting back in this business for the third time was not good for me. But who was there to tell me but me that I would not be able to handle it.  I had the experience, I knew what to expect, I had been around it all before.

 

I had noticed that in giving these parties I had begin to stress myself out.  I was so much more acting as if this was a club event. i.e. treating it as if I again in the “entertainment business” the creative décor, food, liquor, creative games my job, fliers, promotions by any means necessary.  I had begun to make this a job.  I was giving these parties the same weekend I got paid from my 9 to 5. 

 

I was also beginning to think more and more so out of the box.  I began to have more and more fantasies of what I wanted, it seemed I could not get enough sex from the lover I had.  And if he was not available I was angry, pouting like a two year old.  And then it began the decline to my addiction.  I began to release my sexual aura to others, I flirted, I laughed, I was always coiffed, I became a “super siren”  And I could not be without a man in my life to have sex with.  I at this time preferred one lover who would be my steady, but it was not uncommon for me to go to someone else who could do me justice. 

 

I was hunting, and now I had began to pull people to my side of the world, the sensual and seductive side of my world.  It was also at this time that dating “Sean” was no longer working for me.  I had begun to a certain extent placing him as my slave.  (Meaning he was just a pawn) My sexual energy and attraction had worn off.  However, I was always nice giving and very polite to Sean.  So overwhelming in fact, he felt he could not be the type of man that I deserved.  He cried, wow! So we decided to be friends.  And now this led me to quickly find a suitor to fit my needs.

 

Now steps in my ex whom I kept calling and speaking to telling him how wonderful the parties I had been given had turned out.  He came to the “Hollywood Swingers” party.  And thought just as others did that there would be nude people walking around; people would be having sex when you walked in the front door.  It was none of that.  You were invited by laughs, talking, me hosting a game show, great music and wonderful hor derves.  It was an adult kiddy party. 

 

I will call him “Chris” Chris was always asked by his unfaithful brother to come and have fun with him and go to the strip clubs and swinger parties.  But Chris had always refused; he was married at the time. Though he did admit to me he took on three lovers outside of his marriage.  At this point and time, I had never really met any men that were faithful to their wives or fully committed to any woman.

 

The social networking that went on at my gatherings was absolutely amazing!  And this was one of the things that I came to love and hate about Atlanta at the same time. 

 

So now I had sucked Chris in my world, a world that was extremely sexually emotional for some.  For me this was not the case.  It was say and do as much as you can and push the envelope as far as you can.  Chris had already experienced me as a lover; however he was leery of doing all the exotic things I liked.  He was very hesitant.  And would always say, “Oh my gosh!  You are so wild and freaky.  You want to do things I have never done before.”  Chris was green, and he is seven years older than me.  He had been married for sixteen years.  And had no open-mindedness when it came to sex at all.

 

These were the men I loved to have in my cipher.  I wanted to turn a man out anyway that I could.  And I was getting more and more caught up as the days worn on it seemed.  And with this addiction the Sexy Siren wanted to make sure she had suitors, loyal and faithful suitors that would give her her way.  And Chris wanted to, and did, and was going to give me what I wanted.

 

I now had pulled him, he wanted to be partner, he ran errands just as Sean did, and he was more than happy to play the games and network.  He was so curious in doing and seeing.  But very scared, needless to say I had him watching and participating at other functions.  Twice that we both went, he decided that he no longer wanted to do it.  Sharing was not something he was able to do and then watch.  But he could be unfaithful (in his marriage) go figure  Chris and Sean were slightly insecure of who I was, this charismatic woman who always attracted people to her.  And they both knew and experienced men watching and speaking  to me at various times which they felt disrespected.  And I agreed, but remember this is an erotic city. Not too much respect for any persons feelings when you have one goal and purpose in mind.

 

Even in my warped trend of thinking did I not understand why anyone would be open to experiencing sex and having it as much as possible.  I was not in to pedophilia, bestiality, a pervert that watched people through windows; I was not into beating someone or being beat for that matter.  I just wanted some adventure in my sexual experiences.  And there were persons that were not into such, though Chris loved my ferocious appetite and the wonderful things I wanted to do.  He was still conservative. 

 

I have to give you episode six next week.  Until then, keep an open mind.  Stay strong in the right convictions.  And don’t be so easy to get caught up.

 

Just Toy

5/2009

www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EPISODE SIX

(continued-please be sure to read episode five)

 

 

I felt that Chris was very uncomfortable with the swinger’s lifestyle and really did not want to participate in it.  He wanted no parts with ménage trios, watching or going.  But he was still interested in hosting the parties with me. The last party, I had was the last party.  I had gotten tired and extremely irate and irritable at how people acted.  I did not like the calls that men made to me that wanted to have sex with me because I did not participate at my parties.  From going to other parties I began to feel the sting of disgust, the weirdness of others.  And even at the parties I had attended it seemed no did not mean no.  I had to report two men that were  harassing me. It once again got dark; it felt as if I had this huge blanket of guilt.  And the people that were attending this were way off in centerfield. 

 

I was now around people again who snorted, popped pills, drank and other hard drugs.  This was one thing that had made me angry.  It was also amazing how others looked at other people with such disdain and disgust. And I was literally in a huge sexual gossip pool.  I could careless who had a problem with getting it up, who was weird, who only slept with women, who had  mental issues, who was broke.  I mean the list goes on and on.  I felt like I was at my regular 9 to 5 job!  I could careless about these people’s issues, likes, dislikes, and other silly sides of their persona.  We were all coming here for another reason.  Of course you had conversation, but this was out of the park for me.  And was this not suppose to be a place where couples came and swapped?  So why were there men and women that were jealous?  Didn’t understand that either.  And didn’t understand how men were forcing their lovers whom they lived with or married to go to such said events. Crazy.

 

It got to the point that I was not being heard.  That the men that had my number wanted to have me as a side piece without their wife or lover knowing. Did this make sense?  The reason for swinging was for both parties to have sex with others and be uninhibited and open minded about it.  Then I had to still contend with the harassment from the men and women from my job.  I learned my lesson for the third and final time.  When getting involved with such matters it is so overwhelming for me.  Because it opens up doors I know will be open, but in my brain I feel as if I am conducting myself in a proper manner.  I should not incur such any form of disrespect. I was a lady and not a floozy, call girl, or some chick you could…. But that didn’t matter, I was not getting it.  I was being hard headed, this was suppose to happen.  I was not in my world of how it should be done.  I was in the world of what can and should and would happen once you walk in the doors.  And I could not make it be anything but that… So why was I continuously being surprised by the mayhem?

 

So I had ended it all, and still to this day I am asked to open up my mind and pull my business back up and do what I did back home. I always enjoy the creative process, the marketing, how I will promote.  But I knew better, I knew that I would see and hear things that I didn’t want to see nor hear.  It was like I was trying ti re-invent the wheel. 

 

 

BI-SEXUAL WOMEN

 

 

Have I had any women come onto me before?  Why yes I have, but coming to the erotic city of Atlanta it was a whole different level.  I had only had one woman truly come onto me.  And I was not at a lesbian bar or club.

 

As I was getting to know the people at the company I was approached more than a few times, flirted with, and also knew of women who were willing to put on a “show” for some of the men.  They were willing to sleep together, and to also have a ménage trios with a man.  And if this was your thing, one should not test or infringe upon another what they do unless the conversation is put out there.  Or at least a strong vibe… one should never assume… you do know the rest.

 

There was a woman that worked with me, I will call her “Mickey” She clung to me, wanted to get to know me.  She was always proposing that we go out and have fun, break and lunch together.  That was fine, but her attitude would transpire when I didn’t break or take lunch with her.  And I wondered why.  I took my breaks by myself and with others.  I had no particular “buddy” that I went to lunch and break with.  There were of course some that I vibed with on a different level and enjoyed the way we gelled. 

 

We of course exchanged numbers, and I noticed that her calls were coming to me when I didn’t go to work and she began to call me a lot in the morning.  Then it happened, she made a sexual advance to me.  Telling me that I should get with her and stop messing around with these men.  And she was with a man, dating men, and having sex with men.  There was a new guy in town, meaning that he was a new hire.  I was turned off by the fact that a lot of the women had gone goo goo ga ga over this man.  Dong just as the men would do at the company when “new meat” was hired.  Because I was giving him a hard time with a task he was told to do.  He seemed to be drawn to me.  He came by my desk three times that day.  And this seemed to irritate Mickey.  She asked me did I think he was attractive. And why was I speaking to him, and the questions went on and on.  I will speak on him later.

 

It was because of this new hire that women had gathered around him in droves. There was nothing that these women would not do to get the attention of this man. 

 

I was also hit on by a woman there (both women were not attractive to me-though all people are beautiful) She flirted endlessly with me, threw herself at me.  And always had compliments for me.  I did not buy into anything that either of these women threw my way.  I was not interested in sleeping with any woman there, and none of the men.  Or so I thought…

 

Of course I was still appreciating the beauty of Atlanta.  However all the women and men were quick to tell me that the ratio of women out numbered the men.  The statistics started off 7 to 1, and then it went up.  And so this is the reason why so many men felt that they had carte blanche to cheat and play as hard as they did.  And the women it seemed (not all) were more than happy to oblige. 

 

In episode two of Erotic Cities, I mentioned about dating or having affairs with anyone I worked with.  And as mentioned in episode two, I said that I would come back to that subject.  And so I am, and so I did.  I broke my cardinal rule.  I spoke about “Chris”  The man that all the women went crazy for when he was hired. 

 

When I saw Chris for the first time, I was outside having my fifteen minute break.  I was at this point dismayed with the people that were employed at the company as well as the office politics.  Are we not at times peeved and perturbed with the job we have?  It is good to know that there are some people who love their job. 

 

Chris was the epitome of a gorgeous man to me, I saw him as he walked up the stairs.  I knew that he was there for an interview, it was obvious.  I wanted to run up to him and say, “No!! Don’t do it!”  But I kept my mouth shut, I mean I really wanted to tell this man he did not want to work here.  When my break was close to over, so that I would not be late.  Chris was at the receptionist desk checking in. He looked at me and spoke, smiled, and that smile took me for a grand loop.  I am a pushover for lips and beautiful teeth and a Colgate smile. Chris had that, well dressed.  And I love that in a man, I guess what woman really doesn’t.

 

Two days had come and gone, and here he was!  Chris was now working here, and as I stated before.  He was the crème de la crème for these starved ladies.  I on the other had refused to jump all over him like a hawk zooming in for the kill.  Let them have him.  The first day Chris worked all the women were smiling, standing up to get a good look at him.  And this made the men who felt that this was their terroritory jealous.  Not has any man thus far since I had been employed there was  so many calamities over a new hire.

 

My supervisor at that time was riding me and I had just gave him a little piece of Toy.  Chris was given a silly assignment to take pictures of all the employees and they were going on some display case.  This was another thing that the company was doing that was wasteful and made no sense.  And as Chris was going around taking the employees pics, I didn’t want to. And made that very frank. He thought it was funny.  I didn’t, and it was at this time that he wanted to keep coming back around to me to get me to take a picture.

 

Chris had given me his number, and he had mine. However we never called each other.  I saw him just as I saw the rest of the men there, he was getting caught up with the flirting and charm of the women at the company.  I shook my head, hoping that at least one person could come here and not get caught up in the sexual lust.  But he did, he flirted and charmed so many, and made so many men jaded there that he was written up for sexual harassment.  This is when Chris had finally came up to me and wanted to talk to me.  The newness of being there had worn off on me.  While the other women were still throwing there G-strings at him. I knew that Chris was heading towards a train wreck. Because he turned down two women at the company, one decided to report him.  Saying that he had spoken some uncomfortable things to her.  I knew that some of the men and women there were throwing themselves at each other.  But to be honest, as sharp of a dresser, and apparently a man who made sure he smelled great could ever be interested in a woman who smelled of urine.

 

Chris had been there three months, the only thing we did was speak to each other.  Until one day, I was leaving work and walking to the rest room.  Chris’s desk was near the restrooms.  He then stepped directly in front of me and asked me what did I do, did I drink, do drugs, and I was totally caught off guard.  I had no idea of  why he was asking me this out of the clear blue.  I mean we hadn’t had two or thee words with each other because he was involved in all these different types of training.  Chris told me that he had been watching me for the past two weeks.  And that for the past two days he had wanted to come and speak with me.  But I had been getting away. 

 

I had not ever gotten involved with any of the men I had worked with since I have worked a job,  This to me was a huge no no.  I didn’t think that it was cool to sleep or even try to have a relationship with anyone I worked with. I seen too many and heard of too many horror stories.  Plus there was a company policy that certain people that have position of higher authority can not fraternize with each other outside of the company.  Unless it was company orientated. 

 

Chris was at my townhouse on time, he had basically told me that he would be over to my home.  And of course that night I had broke all rules.  And it was from that moment then that Chris and I were way over our heads.  He had to contend with the profuse flirting from other men, and I had to contend with the women flirting with him.  Did I mention that I never dated a man I worked with?  And that we fell in love, and that we spoke of marriage?  That he was so perfect for me? And if you have been following the episodes I brought him into my seductive world.

 

Well that’s my time I must go. However  I will bring you back to the many many  episodes that I have encountered here and others as well.  Tune in and feel the vibe and energy of a city that has gotten caught up in the flesh.  Could I be speaking of you?  Just a thought.

 

Toy High

5/2009 

 

 

 

 

EPISODE EIGHT

 

 

 

It seems as if me getting closer to my  time hear in this erotic city of Atlanta I am seeing more and more, hearing more and more stories. I begin to place myself as a recluse because I have those traits you see.  Because when it gets warmer, colder here in Atlanta she seems to be bringing the hungry nature out of people.  The want and the need to desperately reach out to the flesh.

 

There will be some name changes for the privacy of this episode not to reveal their true identity.

 

Recollection One

 

“Carol” was born and raised here in Georgia.  No children at the age of forty-eight, and is a serious bike rider.  And I must say that Carol has the body of a young lady in her twenties.  Navel pierced, tight legs, she can wear her stomach out and show those taut legs.  She is a very jazzy lady and has a strong addiction for sex and men. Her sex life, though for a lot of women who are in their forties has increased.  She has always been a sexual being, and she exudes sexuality in all she does.  She would be considered what they now call cougars. But with her it is slightly different; her prey is not of the younger men.  It is more due for the men just a few years her junior.  A strong flirt with a love and drive that she has no shame in. She sniffs coke almost daily and especially before sex, she hangs out with bikers, but her work life consists of her being and looking very conservative.  She is the type of women that will have sex with any woman’s man if she is benefiting. 

 

Carol has sent me pics by text message of her in some pretty precarious situations.  Her giving men felatio and we are nowhere near being close friends at all.  I have invited Carol to one of the parties I had thrown.  Well she actually was invited by a man that I was dating at the time.  And this was a man whom said that he could not handle my sex drive and that I needed to be with a woman who had money and was as sexual as I was while he sits and watches the game downstairs in my home.  And he could come and join in later.  I was aghast, only because how does anyone have the gall to tell me what they are going to do?  Not asking, just telling me.  How can anyone tell anyone what they plan on doing?  He wanted me to have sex with Carol; he called her without my knowledge.  He sent her pics of me via text messaging without my knowledge.  I have never had a man just offer me over to another woman.

 

The gentlemen I was dating I will name “Steven” was drawn to my sexually uninhibited nature and was so open to see and try things that he had not.  But was this my job to share myself with a man and a woman? I think not, and Steven was one of the many men that I had met in my past that said they were adventurist.  And he really had not done anything too far out of the ordinary.  Of course since he had mentioned, or told me this my feelings had changed for him.  I was not in love with him; however I had love for him.  And what I thought was a vey immaculate man had now turned into “They others” Like all the other like minded men.  And now my respect had dwindled.

 

Of course I did not go through with this.  While I had distanced myself from Steven, I could never ever take him serious.  While Carol was portraying this good girl image, she was far from it.  She was interested in illicit sex, but group sex.  And she had just left a relationship with a woman for the past two years.  And she was more than ready to be with a man.  She had revealed this to me, telling me type of man she liked.  And that so happened to be my significant other “Drew” 

 

Drew was the type of man she longed for.  I had gone back to Drew after I was with Steven. Steven and I had dated for a very short period.  And Drew and I had only separated because of some financial issues on his end.  Drew had tons of pride, and did not want to be with me until he had a job.  However, I did not end the relationship because he was not employed.  I knew the type of man that Drew was.  Very genuine and loving and such a woman’s man. 

 

Knowing that Drew was with me, Carol asked me, and then said that she was attracted to him.  Hmm…I have seen Carol out, we did not become close, but she was a tease and threw herself at men.  This was embarrassing to me.  And the usage of coke, I am not a judge and have no right to judge anyone for what they do because I am far from perfect.  But we are in the south and the tolerance for having drugs on your person did provide a penalty.  And that penalty was jail, fines, probation, rehabs, etc., so it was not feasible for me to be around her.  And she did this the two of the three times we were in each others presence.  And she offered me a sniff the first time.  Carol let sex rule her so much that she was upset when she could not have it, and when the men she would give herself to did not pay.  Carol use to be an exotic dancer for twelve years.

 

Carol always sends me porn texts all the time, the jokes and video you may get from others.  And what was oxymoron; she would always send me prayers, uplifting scriptures of angels, Jesus and God.  I was totally confused of who she was.

 

RECOLLECTION TWO

 

Why would I not think that people who were politicians, detectives, policeman, and medical doctors did not have lives outside of their career that they indulged in.  Because they do, hobbies, sports and the like.  However I never knew that I would meet policemen and politicians who were heavy swingers.

 

Politicians and anyone in law enforcement is not only supposed to be around any narcotics.  But even being off duty they are suppose to report suspicious behavior and not be in the company of people who sell or do drugs of any sort.  You would think, but not so.  I will tell you about “Officer Ron” in a bit.  Who was a police officer for Fulton County, Atlanta Police Department.

 

There are close to almost two hundred swinger organizations in Atlanta, and many private sectors that you were personally invited to.  They were not ones to have a huge following.  Small sector of elite people, these are the people that are truly picky of whom they have in their circle.  And it is not that easy to get in.

 

Now, as I have stated in episode three and four about swingers.  I have attended parties before and have been invited to so many it is ridiculous.  I definitely know that at these parties there are lots of drugs sold and taken.  And in this, policeman and politicians are fully aware.  But the rule of thumb is, if I don’t see it  then I have no knowledge of it.  However, if this place is raided, then of course their career or job is at stake.  My point is this, are you so caught up in the lust of the flesh where you would jeopardize your status, career, or job for just that one night?  I guess so.  Well, yes one would.  I use to be in the entertainment industry, and one thing I couldn’t do was have sex with the men I worked with.  I held an authorative position that I never thought that I could ever see or have.  Being a VP was very important  me.  And I did not want to have a dirty reputation.  The men would always come in speaking of their sexual conquest.  And speak on the after after party.  I never ever indulged in the after after parties.  Why?  Because I knew what went on there.  And the one thing I did not want to see the people I worked with in the light.  As far as I was concerned, men and women could hoar themselves.  And I looked at it all the same way, men did not get a pass from me because society tended to give men a pass with running around having sex with a lot of women.

 

When you have the pass to get high, drink and have sex it is a huge concoction for some wild and crazy drama.  What behooved me the most was that Ron had a girlfriend whom he had turned out just like pimp does a low self-esteem young woman or girl. A woman who was desperately seeking the attention of having a man in her life because she was needy.  And so he told her that he was a swinger, and this was his lifestyle.  I could tell when I met her that she was not very comfortable with it when she first started.  But it did not matter to Ron, he knew he had her.  Even said he loved her very much.  If one says so, I guess I come from the school of old.  Yes, I am open to a lot of things, and yes I was at time okay with sharing.  But I could not see me being married and giving the okay that my husband and I have this type of lifestyle.  Back then yes, now, no. 

 

Ron plotted and plotted and now his girlfriend was where he wanted her to be. Open to the whole new world of having sex with other men and women to please her man.  And yet, living this lifestyle where he said he was open to, he now wanted to have sex with me on the side and let her know about it so that he wouldn’t feel he was cheating on her. (??)   Ron is a very aggressive man, and I would not have felt comfortable having sex with him and his girlfriend knew about it.  And then I would have to look in her eyes and be in her company.  It is different if we  are all at the swinger party and indulge, because everyone is aware of why we are there.  I know some of the things that I may reveal may seem oxymoron.  But for my personal reasons, when I partook of those things, I didn’t want to develop or have a relationship with any persons sexually outside of that circle.  The only exception to this rule was that if they had knowledge in regards to business or assisting me to taking my career to the next level then I was okay with exchanging business cards.

 

Ron tried me all of the time, and he did not hide this from his girlfriend, and it was hard for me to except his phone calls because he would seem to always take it to when was he going to see me.  I wanted Ron’s phone number because he was a cop.  And just in case…….

 

And no matter how many times I told Ron that I didn’t want to have sex with him. This did not stop him from calling me in the wee hours of the morning.  The men who did have my number did not want to except that I was giving these parties only to make money and nothing more.  I did not participate.

 

One must understand that in this city of eroticism most of the residents who were bombarded with sex on their minds did not want to assist you get to the next level unless it involved sex in some sort of way. I was very dismayed with this production of so-called brotherhood. Meaning that I thought we all were suppose to add and uplift in our making it to the top of our careers or business’ “I want to have sex with a woman first before I start a relationship with her.”  Is what I was told by a gentlemen who I had given my number to.  I was surprised, I know that we all are at times so attracted to another person that we may jump at the opportunity to have sex with them.  But to be so abrupt in revealing this info to a person when you are trying to get to know them makes no sense to me at all.  Sex was like going to a Mc Donald’s drive-thru and placing your order, it was just that easy.

 

I will say that my eyes were open to all of this madness, and that I got caught up for a spell.  And the reason why I had started to give parties was because it was easy money and something that a lot of people were into. But as time went on, just like the entertainment business had worn me out with the lust of the flesh.  Atlanta, well she was wearing me out with all the extreme sexual aggressiveness of the men and women there. When I met a man who said he hadn’t had sex in a long time, I did not believe them.  Too hard for me to believe them.  It was too easy to get!

 

See you at episode nine, when I get to more and more personal stories and interviews….

 

Toy High

5/2009

 

 

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

 

EPISODE SEVEN

 

 

Please answer this for me….how can an individual who is an alcoholic be around another alcoholic and say, “You drink too much?” Is there any right to say so?  To judge the other person so harshly?  Well, as oxymoron as it sounds and is, I have been there and done that so much while living in Atlanta.  A person who enjoys a healthy sex life, and enjoys the recreation come to a place and meet people that had the same outlook.  But when is enough enough?  And when is too much too much?

 

Well it is true, I was instantly turned off by so much sexual energy that exuded in the Erotic city if Atlanta that I no longer wanted to have a relationship with any man.  It was too easy to have sex here, too easy.

 

In exchanging numbers with men at my job, whom I thought were harmless turned out to be something else later down the line.  What had bamboozled me the most was not speaking on the phone at all, and out of the clear blue getting a text out of nowhere sometimes months later. “When are you going to let me go down on you?” What?  I’m a little lost.  We never ever had any conversation that spoke of getting with each other in that manner.  Nor did we have, or at least I didn’t sense any sexual chemistry between us.  And because I am, or let me say pretty perceptive if a man is attracted to me.  But to all of a sudden get a text message asking me that blew me out of the water! And the text messages from various men began to blow up my phone on a regular and surprise me.

 

If I smiled, gave a compliment, which is something I do with all people.  I am a charmer, and with that it means I will say, “Hey beautiful how are you?”  Once I got to know the men and women at my job.  We would hug each other and kiss each other on the cheek.  Of course this was in a non-sexual way.  But my actions were eventually taken to be something they were not.

 

And this towards the end of my tenor at the company made me become a recluse.  Where I limited more and more speaking to certain people because they had my pegged wrong.  How could one not know after all this time at my job that this was just who I was, but this was sexy, a turn on.  Because I was so positive and inviting it took on the appeal sexual signs and that is not how I meant it t all. I have had many many people say to me, “Toy the person you are is what attracts so many to you.” And yes I do understand that.  And if this were so true, then why was I still left with the feeling that I was only a sexual pawn? And not have those who wanted to befriend me (males) and work on having a great rapport with one another? Still behooves me to this day.  And the factor that I had to continue to defend myself in saying that I did not want to have sex.

 

There is a man whom I will call “Peter”  He was at that time the regional manager of the company.  He was a Bible quoting, faith walking, married pastor.  Spoke of the love he had for his wife.  And that prayer was the answer and God will work it all out.  And even though I didn’t walk the straight and narrow.  I do believe in God and all of his promises.  However, I am not one to teach or preach and not live my life as an example.  In other words, I do not play with God at all.  At first it was all innocent, “Hey baby how you doing?” “I’m fine and you?” “I’m blessed” went to giving me hugs, which was not what he was suppose to do, no physical contact at all.  Which did not bother me at all, I am an affectionate person.  And then it progressed. “Girl you will make me cheat on my wife.”  And then he would quote a scripture afterwards.  Because I worked the early shift, there was hardly t many people that came in that early.  But his advances had become a regular thing.  And he would then began to tell me that if I needed anything he would be there, if I understood where he was coming from.  Yes I understood what he was saying.  It wasn’t until about two to three weeks that I had gotten tired.  Why did I not report him?  I didn’t want to bring any shame to him, and I knew that I could handle him.  He would lie back, and then at times come back on strongly.

I was later told that he had a young lady fired from the company because she threatened to tell on him.  He did it right before she got a chance.  I was also told that he had hit on a few women there, and was having an affair with the receptionist.

 

I do want to make a valid point here, I do know that there are people who cheat, and are very flirtatious.  And that is everywhere you go in the world.  I was speaking to a person that had wanted to go to New Orleans.  He said that it seemed as if it was a sexy town.  If that is how you would like to look at it.  But New Orleans, well, that is an erotic city.  So much in fact but we will talk about that city another time.

 

The “norm” before someone literally feels comfortable in asking you to have sex is usually when they feel your vibe.  However in major cities in the United States sexual play maybe a little higher than other places. Now in small towns in the south and in states that have cities a small population, pregnancy is high. There is nothing more to do but have sex.  However I am speaking more on the level of when there are so many people in a metropolitan city.  And they are plagued with the sexual bug, so quick to want to get laid. If they can have it the same day or night, or even the next day, that’s even better.

 

When I first got to Atlanta I was excited about meeting new prospects.  Start dating and enjoying life.  I had put men on the back burner for a couple of months because I had so much on my plate and I was just disappointed with all the men that I had met and was meeting.  None seemed to be on the same page that I was on.  There would be a sexual attraction for me, but I would not have a sexual, mental, or a physical attraction.  And for me when there is someone that is more into me than I am to him. I am even more turned off by that man.  Unfortunately for me in some cases, I am turned off very quickly and by small things when it comes to the opposite sex.  Some things can just really creep me out.

 

If you ever have gone to Vegas, or have even talked to anyone who has gone to Vegas. Most of them will tell you they had a great time.  For those who drink, they will drink even more.  And you don’t have to drink alcohol if that is not your forte.  And then there is the night life, there is a club in every hotel.  All types of music for all different taste.  There are things for the families to do together, prostitution, rather you are into that or not.  And there is plenty of gambling, and there are a lot of people that have gone and go to Vegas and they are not gamblers.  My point to this is, you will get sucked up into something that Vegas offers.  And one thing that the city offers is plenty of alcohol and sex.

 

This is what Atlanta was to me, there was plenty here being offered.  Rather you decided t get deeply involved or not, it was there. However I can guarantee that someone has a close friend that has gotten into a sexual tryst here.  Lost a mate here, or even participated in what goes on here.  It is a real deep and psychological issue when so many people feel so comfortable with asking for sex and throwing themselves at you.

 

I met a man who was not only down-low and had a wife.  But he had a girlfriend at the job that also was married.  And he still flirted with other women when the girlfriend at work was not around.  How many women can one have? 

 

When I had first gotten here and was looking for a job, I had gone to a job fair.  There was a man there that was asking me questions about the job fair.  I couldn’t answer any questions. I was a new resident here as well.  I could tell no need in lying here that “Marcus” was a troubled man and very well could have been running from some troubled past and trying to make a new life for himself here.  A lot of people that had moved to Atlanta seemed to be running from something.

 

What impressed me was that Marcus had a Bible with him.  This told me that he had really wanted to get his life on the right track.  So we exchanged numbers.  We set up a date to hang out with each other. And let me cut through the chase, this man was indeed a real nut case.  In going to his house one late afternoon, we talked, he made lunch for me.  Then it began, he told me that he hadn’t had sex in a long time because he was saving himself for the right woman.  And he wanted to have sex with me. What made him think in the very brief tome that we had known each other I was the right woman for him?  I at this point was truly celibate.  And sticking to my guns, this almost resulted in a case of rape! Can you imagine?  He begged and begged and begged until I had to literally scream at him.  He had picked me up, and no buses were running to where I could get home. And I was not too familiar as to where my location was.  It was still early, but late according to bus schedules.  He promised he would take me home in the morning, I didn’t wait, and I got up, got on the bus and came home.  Needless to say, I let him go.  He would call and leave messages and ask me who was I with? Why would I not speak to him??? And who was I having sex with?  Exhausting.

 

To be perfectly honest, this column has been enlightening for me.  I have seen the things I have gone and been through in a different light.  I also have seen as to what I thought money that was the root of all evil turn into sex being the highest commodity here.  I noticed just as myself, sex was a drug to lot of these people here. When you are a drug user or an alcoholic, when the addiction has taken control.  It does not matter what you do, or how you get your alcohol or drugs from just as long as you get it. This is why we will see drug addicts on the streets sharing pipes, sharing needles, and getting high anywhere. As the same with those who have let their consumption of alcohol consume them. There is no longer the preference of having the “top of the line” drug or alcohol anymore.  Just as long as one can get it is what that person is looking for.

 

People get high, drink, eat, workout, have sex when they are sad, happy, angry, depressed and when nothing is wrong.  This is now when you know that it is a vice that you have.  Notice a smoker, one of the first things they will do when they get some bad news or going through it they will pick up a cigarette.  Even if they just had one. Me myself and I, well I will write.  It seems tapping those keys on a keyboard help me to resolve a lot of issues and something inside tales over and its as if I have released all the negative thoughts and energy. And that maybe, just maybe when someone reads my work they feel what I felt at that time.  And that they can learn from the experience, knowledge, hope, and wisdom that I relinquish through my words.  And as I hope by writing this weekly series that if one person feels what I have said gets it. That they may be able to see themselves.  It may not be that they have an issue with sex; it may be that they have issues with other things in their life that are truly addicting.

 

As I have worked on episode seven, I found myself getting worn on recalling so many events that have happened frequently.  As I recall certain stories with you, these are not stories that are spaced out over a period of time.  A lot of these things were consecutive.  And it wore me out to have to constantly meet and go through the same things over and over.  To seemingly have the same conversations over and over.  Exhausting.

 

That is my time.  Stay tuned for episode eight, where I dig deeper.

 

Toy High

5/2009


 

 

Say Hello Diamonds

 

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

 

EPISODE NINE

 

 

In episode eight I was recollecting my experiences with those whom I have come across in Atlanta.  Because I worked in the world at one time of marketing and promotions.  I was very good with coming up with all these fun and creative ways to catch peoples attention, and I used it to my advantage.  Understand I am a great sales person, and I know how to capture the attention of other’s.  So in doing this my parties as I have stated before were not your run of the mill parties. 

 

RECOLLECTION THREE

 

My first party that I gave I had invited some people from my job.  Why not?  I didn’t want to see them perform, I wanted the money. There was a lady that worked at my job whom I will call “Freda” Freda sold adult toys, she called herself a consultant.  And with this I thought that I would give her a party, this was actually my first “swinger party” which did not start off that way.  But ended up that way, and little did I know that Freda was a huge player in the game of “free sex” I mean I knew she had to be pretty much uninhibited about her sexual freedom if she sold adult toys.  What shyness can you bring to the table selling adult toys?  I knew that she had a relationship with a man there at the company we had worked at.  And funny, he had ventured to my party.

 

I had invited another young lady who sold lingerie, she never showed up.  There also was my bartender who also was a masseuse.  I wanted people to come to my parties and make money just like me.  Why not? 

 

Freda I had later found out was in an adulterous affair with one of the supervisors at the job.  I will call him “Sam” Sam was married and very loose with himself but claimed that he loved his wife and had no intentions of leaving his wife.  Sam also risking his job at the company could careless if he was caught up in sex with the employees or spending time with the employees outside of work.  Which was against company policy for anyone who was a supervisor or higher up to have any relationships with anyone outside of work? Unless work related.

 

This was a masquerade party; it was around the time of Mardi gras in New Orleans.  Freda had totally forgotten what she was there to do, she asked me what and how she should sell her product.  I told her that was her business to figure and ingenious way to sell her goodies. 

 

However Freda was now acting as if she was not there to make money, and I seen the side of her that was wide open with lust.  I felt that she was there to handle business not participate at any party.  But she took it upon herself to have fun and not make money.  This is what I meant and seen so many times here.  No, not all men and women placed sex over money.  But most tended to get caught up with sex first, money and power last.  Sex was at the top echelon of madness and acceptance.  Not only was her former lover there, but there was also an ex employee there of the company, her ex-lover whom she still flirted with heavily, and then Sam.

 

Now Freda had totally forgot as I had stated that she was there to make money.  Money first, fun last.  But as people had begun to adjourn upstairs to the illicit fun.  I was downstairs talking to those at the party that did not come and have sex, but just to fill the party out and see what was so different about mines.  And trust everyone had a great time with the entertainment I provided.  It was like being on “The Price Is Right” we had kiddy fun in an adult way.

 

Well as I was seeing some of my guest out of my house, Freda had made her way upstairs.  And as I was talking to one of my best friends, Freda comes half way down the stairs saying that she needed to speak to me.  So as I excused myself from my best friend I was speaking with.  She had told me that behind the door that was closed Sam was waiting for me to come and watch.  But I knew better, Sam wanted me to participate.  And guess what? I did not want to participate and I did not want to have the image of Freda and Sam in my head.   Nope, so I told Freda, “Let me go and say good-bye to my guest” This seemed to excite her.  But far from me being excited.  Again, if and when I did things of that nature it was away from people that I seen, spoke, or spent time with. 

 

My best friend had gone upstairs and had asked me if I was going to come upstairs to see what was going on.  And just as I have stated that I didn’t want to have that image in my head.  I told him the same thing, and told him to knock himself out.  And he told me that Freda was the wildest one doing many things with many men and women.  Later she was invited by a couple that attended my party to come and give her and her man a show before he was shipped back out to Iraq.  It was video taped, the threesome was.  And to be honest with you and myself.  I wouldn’t have placed her on that level.  It was my best friend who had brought the couple she had later on went to their home that same week and performed sexually for the camera. 

 

RECOLLECTION FOUR

 

I never been too much of a gambler.  But when I have gone to Vegas I would always play the slot machines.  That was about it, I did see the real and true gamblers play for sport, luck, pleasure and some were addicted.

 

And when players got on the crap table and rolled the dice and crapped out it was not a pretty sight.  I give this example because I feel as if the men, some of them roll the dice with the women here.  They go from woman to woman and roll the dice, and if you keep rolling those dice you eventually will win.  This is the hope that the gamblers have.  They will keep playing and playing until they win the big money.  Well here in Atlanta the men keep gambling on the women.  They go and throw their lines to as many women as they can. With some of them saying the same line, and some of them hitting on four to five different women.  And a lot of them do it right in your face.

 

“Jerry” Was once a trainer that soon was promoted to a supervisor.  From the moment I was hired at the company he hit on me all the time.  And Jerry was very forward, he hid nothing back.  He was a married young man, him being in his early-thirties. Maybe thirty-three or so and I was 39 at the time. Jerry expressed how he wanted to have sex with me. He always complimented me, always came by my desk and would heavily flirt with me and keep a straight face.  He asked me if I had on panties, would I show him what “it” looked like.  He told me that he loved my mouth and smile, legs, asked me did I have big nipples. 

 

Jerry was always making sexual advances towards me.  Why did I not report him you may ask?  Because here in Georgia it does not look good to be terminated for sexual harassment.  And it does go on your record, when I got tired and it was too much I would tell Jerry to back off.  Or I would give him “the face” Jerry did this the whole time that I was employed at the company.  There was no giving up. And we have had many conversations about why does he try so hard, why does he have to have me.  And that I know he hits on a lot of the women here right in my face. We had conversations of his wife and him wanting children.  “I figure if I keep asking eventually you will give in.” If someone asks me to leave their home, I will never come back.  If someone asked me not to call them again.  I will not.  For me it is just that simple!  Rejection is not something that I take hard from a man at all.  It doesn’t bother me.  However I am not the type of person that will be persistent and stalk anyone.  Or even for that matter worry someone’s nerves. 

 

Jerry felt as if this was the thing to do, that gambling.  Throwing the dice all the time he would eventually hit the seven or eleven and not crap out.  Jerry was an all around nice person to talk to. So a lot of the times when he came on to me, I just would ignore him majority of the time.

 

Jerry offered me rides home from work at times.  And on the one time he first offered me a ride.  There was a co-worker who as well asked for one.  Stating that she didn’t live far from me, “Shelly” was from New York, Harlem USA.  And she was a very aggressive and blunt young girl in her early twenties.  She had the mouth of a sailor and was scared of no man or woman.  I had told Shelly that Jerry wanted to take me home.  And that I was glad that she was riding because I did not want Jerry to hit on me.  She said, “Yeah he does hit on you real hard. And every other ”

 

Jerry asked if we all wanted to have drinks after work because we all had gotten off work very early.  Jerry could careless of following that company policy.  Which I have already spoke upon.  Jerry had rolled up some marijuana, and took us to Applebee’s.  I was slightly on edge because I already knew what Jerry was thinking. He was going to take Shelly home first and then take me home last.  I was already a step ahead of him.  As I asked Shelly of she wanted to step outside and take a smoke with me, she said okay.  So as I was smoking my Dajuram Black, I stated. “I do not want Jerry to take me home first. I’m going to have him take me home first and then take you home last.” “No problem.  I understand.”  And we moved on.

 

Well I did exactly just that, I guided him to my home first.  And as I said thank you and bid my ado. I realized I had messed up bad.  For one, Jerry knew where I lived. And two, Jerry was going to come right back over here when he dropped Shelly off at home. And even before I could take my clothes off, Jerry had called me and told me that he was at my front door sitting in his car.  Could he come in and talk to me.  I knew that this was going to happen, and yes I invited him in.  He sat down, complimented my home. And then I spoke up, telling Jerry that he was married and that I did not date or sleep with married men.  He told me he understood, and he asked for a hug, and said he would leave.  The hug went quickly into a kiss he had placed on me fast.  And my lips parted and I got swept up.  Pulled back, and told him he had to leave.  Yes I was attracted to Jerry because Jerry was they epitome of man I would date had he been single.  But he was married, and he and I worked at the same company. 

 

Jerry’s hands were all over my body, and he made me feel all tingly inside.  Pulse racing heart beating erratic.  It was a sin and my lust for him had me weak.  He had to go; I could not spiral into this decline.  There was absolutely no future in this or with him. And after all of that, he still rolled those dice, he still tried me.  And I would lie if I were to say it was easy because it was not.  I was strongly attracted to Jerry. 

 

Time had gone by, more than six months and Jerry was able to drop me off from work another time.  He had not hit on me for awhile; I was not feeling so uptight about him bringing me home.  And one reason was my then boyfriend was waiting for me at my home.

 

The third time Jerry brought me home; he asked me could he watch the game because it was on.  And yes it was the NBA Play-offs.  I am a basketball fan and the Detroit Pistons were in the NBA Eastern Conference Play-offs. My youngest daughter was home.  And I knew there would be nothing going on.  And no lines were crossed. 

 

When I thought it was safe to come out of the water.  Jerry ups and comes onto me when he came to a dinner party I had given at my home.  He caught me off guard in my kitchen he walked up behind me, his private being hard and pressing against me.  I quickly turned around and told him “no”

 

RECOLLECTION FIVE

 

There also seemed to be many times that I have had men want to have sex so bad I guess you could say.  To the point of them trying to force themselves on me.  Now for me this had to be something that was in the water. Because it seemed very odd and overwhelming that this has happened more than one time.  This just couldn’t be me.  Was I the only woman that was placed in this vulnerable situation?  No I was not.  Because I have spoken to women and young girls here in this city of Atlanta-Erotic City, and this seemed to be common.  This was also common it seemed at Freak Nik, which is why the city had to shut it down and not have the event anymore. 

 

I had met a young guy by the name of “Mark” We met on the train podium. I spoke to younger men if they presented themselves to me correctly and I feel maybe able to handle the whole situation in dealing with someone older.

 

Mark was very eager to take me out and have dinner. He asked if he and I could see each other that evening.  I told him that I would let him know. Of course this was after we had exchanged numbers.  Mark was being too aggressive in wanting to see me.  So of course I said that we should just wait for the weekend.  And that we could meet up where he wanted to have dinner at.  He agreed to this at first.  It was upon a Wednesday when Mark and I had met, he was very attractive to me and I was attracted to him and his style.

 

Mark also didn’t hesitate when first meeting I to ask me for a kiss and a hug….I was very taken by this. And this was not the first time I had met a man here in Atlanta and they wanted a hug and kiss. And really wanted to press their bodies up close against mine. Was it just here? Was that sexual energy rubbing off on everyone that moved here?  Because these were not the people that were from Atlanta that I was meeting.

 

Mark was persistent in seeing me. So we were going to have dinner. He had a roommate and said that he needed to go to his apartment and take care of something.  So I went over to his apartment, and then all of a sudden we were going nowhere. He was now tired, of course I did not drive and he had picked me up. So he said that he wanted to talk get to know me. He sat on the floor and asked me questions about myself and abra cadraba just like that! He was complimenting me and rubbing my legs. And in a flash! His hand was going up my pant leg and he was trying to get my pants off.

 

I had pushed Mark off of me, and then he came back and started hitting on me again.  Then it turned into he just wanted kiss and just hold me.  He was extremely antsy and fidgety. He would back up, “Okay, you are right. We are supposed to be talking only.” And then he got up and started again. This man did and did not understand that I did not want him all over me like that.  That him throwing himself on me and trying to make me have sex with him was turning me off. And I could not show that I was scared. And the truth was, I was very scared. Because Mark was trying to pull off my clothes as he would place his weight upon me and take it.

 

That is my time……see you next week as I give you some more recollections of this Erotic City of Atlanta, episode ten.

 

Toy High

www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com

5/2009

 

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE

 

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

 

EPISODE TEN

 

 

I now have to come back to a time and a space of which I have forgotten a lot! I mean because a lot of times we don’t want to hold on to a lot of things.  Why should we?  If we had a recollection of each and every thing that went on in our lives I believe we would truly go crazy and lose what faculties we do have.  I had stopped for a period of time writing only because it had flooded me with good and bad.  But I am back 2yrs later to finish what I started, my story on how I seen ATL and what I did, and how my part played in the vicious circle of The Flip-Side!

 

When I left off I was speaking on “Mark” a young man that was very persistent in getting to “know me” which was just sex only.  One thing I can say about ATL there are a lot of people (not all) that are “fronting” that they have life and love money, men and women all in the back of their pocket.  And for a selective few this was true! But for a lot it wasn’t, if people had a gotten a bad taste in their mouths about Cali saying that the people are “all plastic” then so goes it for ATL.  Just as Cali you had a lot of people who were very plastic, lived or showed you a life that was far from the truth.  When I met people I could see that they were sharp well put together dressers.  And then when you went to their home or around people whom were close to them it all told a different story!  That was “I really don’t have a lot, I don’t and barely have money and holding on to a weak job.  And all the connects I said I have are really not feeling me.” A mouth full huh? Again this was not everyone, but how can one tell if you are meeting a sleuth of people and they claim to be “the one” you should get to know and have.

 

I had finally given Mark a good final no! That I was not the woman he thought I was and he couldn’t tap, hit, have, lay any of this here!  I was beginning to feel as if I didn’t sleep with Mark that he would rape me!  How could a young man as fine as him be so hard up that he would feel he had to “take anything from me? Hey rapist come in all shapes and sizes, good looks bad looks money fame and non famous and broke!

 

I had managed to get Mark off of me and I could not stay at his home any longer, it was getting late and I was tired of going back and fourth.  I had no car at this time and the trains had already stopped running.  So I had to stay the night, for some odd reason I had thought that Mark would be a selective few where I would not have stayed or hung out with Mark at all.  It is like ATL had you under a spell of sorts.  Like some people just stayed in this catatonic heat!

 

I left Marks house bright and early run down because I didn’t get any sleep.  Had I had a car I would have been able to get home but due to the fact that we didn’t get to his home after 11p.m. and we caught a cab.  Mark did not want to see me leave and was begging me to stay and that he was sorry the way he acted.  But I wasn’t, I now knew where and how I would place him in my life. 

 

The hardest thing I cannot understand is a person who does not understand the word no!  And it was Mark that kept texting for almost a week and not getting a response from me.  He was persistent!!!! And ignoring him was not working! Then it became begging!! I could see how many women were turned off, but the once fresh clean cut young man I had met had now turned into a desperate stalker! And as many women as there were here in ATL why was he pressing me so hard? Then there was the apologizing and me turning him down saying we could not talk, call, text or anything and that seemed to make matters worse after the insistent calls and texting that he was being ignored.

 

It was down to the wire and we were about to hear who are president would be.  And a shock to a lot of people that we had our first Black African-American president! Mark was at my home when it was announced and so was my daughter there in tow.  My daughter thought that Mark was boring, see-thru, and didn’t have much character and she didn’t like him.  The only thing that saved Mark and let him come over was the fact he had “brought gifts” After we had all hung out sipped wine, I was tired very tired so we all turned in for bed.  Mark was told that he was to sleep in the living room me in my room and my daughter in her room whom said she had locked the door.  Again it was around early morning that Mark comes into my room and asks me could he “have some” I told him no.  Of course this was my fault, but for the life of me I could not figure out why he was so desperate to have sex with me, why was he so pressed and couldn’t he have chosen another woman?  But I had begun to think that Mark was this desperate stalker! I only had him over because he “Promised” to be cool and that how he was acting wasn’t him he just found me so damn sexy and attractive! Really?  Not buying it! Mark had made three attempts in my room and I had put him out! That was that, and I had to literally put “do not answer” on my phone where his name should or would have been.  He joined several others who had begun to be stalkers!

 

It was later on while doing some marketing and promoting for my site that I had come across a man whom I thought (again) would be really cool.  He just so happened to live about fifteen minutes away.  Born in the same month with both of us having soooo much in common.  Sense of humor, and we shared a lot of the same views. While we chatted and chatted and my daughter had chatted we invited him to come by.  Of course your first impression of someone most times seems to be a good impression. Because they give you good face of course.  I know now but I had no idea that “Will” was attracted to me or wanted a relationship with me or felt I was the only one who could relate to him.  I find that odd, but I found this out after I had ditched him and he had seen me on chat and came in to chat with me. But that is far into the story which I don’t want to get into now.

 

I did learn and very quickly I may add that Will was a huge eccentric in the sexual arena.  However I also found out that Will had a lot of dysfunctional issues that spewed over into his personal, mental and emotional life.  So much in fact it confused him about love, relationships and what he should and shouldn’t be doing in his life.

 

Will first and foremost had gotten a bad rep.  I had met a couple of people who actually knew and met him and did not bite their tongue in what they had to say about him! My mouth was open wide with the info I heard!

 

First Will did so much! He was a producer (a job he really did have making and selling music for advertisers- I was impressed) then on the side he was a male exotic performer, Will was a huge exhibitionist! He loved being naked and showing his body.  This was his first vice.  Though he didn’t have a bad body, but he didn’t have a muscular body one you would expect a male performer to have.  Next was Will had all of these explosive and explicit sexual fantasies spinning in his head, too many in fact for him to be able to cipher and work on one at a time.  And the next thing was Will thought of sex or had sex on the brain most of the day.  There was always someone he was pursuing.

 

One thing Will had told me was that he use to help throw swinger parties with his frat brothers, so he says it was about money and he never got into the sexual side of it but all and still he threw these parties. He said he would perform at them (male exotic shows) he also was sort of I guess you could say a man Madame.  He seemed to have frat brothers that were married so he would always FIND a woman for them to hook up with to have sex.  And he also provided his home for some raucous behavior.  He loved watching he told me, “I just can’t sleep with any and everybody” This was really not the root of the problem.  I later found out that Will had many more issues. 

 

Will had asked me to do some pretty way out stuff for a person who had just met me.  He asked me to call a few of my GF’s and ask if we could drive over there homes, honk the horn and have them come outside and be a judge to rather he had a big penis or not. (Confused) I had tilted my head to the side when I had heard this request.  Who does this? Who would think like this? Can you imagine someone honking a horn, you come outside and judge what a man/woman’s private looks like and then go back in the house? I told him that I would not call any of my associates with such non-sense and I didn’t know anyone who would do that.  I told him that he needed to ask his friends.  He said that he has done that already.  So I am sitting here thinking how much more validation do you need about how big or small you are?  Of course I had not seen it, but he had told me that he was happy with it and that because he wanted to extend his audience more and start dancing in clubs.  And that there were a lot of men that danced in ATL as male performers. Now you must understand that these men stripped down to nothing! And I can surely tell you that they do not do that in the clubs in Cali unless you are having a “private party” 

 

So you see Will had told me that there were men whom he knew were larger than he was and from what I gathered he was intimidated.  Really?  So then I started thinking. And my thinking went many different ways! Was Will gay or down-low?

 

Will had asked me to do many crazy off the wall things that were very peculiar to me.  He had asked me if I would have sex with his married frat brother because his wife was not giving him the type of sex he wanted (oral) and the women whom he had been with were all “low-life’s” and gave him a hard time.  But I was a mature well rounded woman whom he believed I would be perfect and that I would get paid every time we had sex.  Of course that was a no!!! And I was also asked if we all three could have sex, and if I would have sex with his frat brother and he watch!!! Now of course Will told me that his frat brother was asking him to ask me! He had left his business card with me, which I clearly tore up.  I felt they were both at the center of it in my opinion.

 

It was one day that Will had asked me if we could have sex together, at this point and time I hadn’t been with anyone in over a month.  The lover I had was having major ex-wife issues, child support, money, and job and home issues.  And it was not going to work out at all. 

 

I was shocked that Will had got his Janis backpack and low and behold inside of it he had put a……

 

My time is up, but hopefully you will catch up with me again for the 11th episode of Erotic Cities the Flip-side…. I am back giving you the full skimmy!

 

06/2011

Just Toy

Written Expressions

 

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE

 

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

 

EPISODE ELEVEN

 

 

 

In the last episode (ten) I left off speaking of Will, a man of oddity to most as well as myself.  However you must understand this.  I drew people to me like moths to flames and bees to honey and my persona is still of such that I draw people to me.  And Will felt that it was safe and also felt very comfortable with telling me his inner secrets and about the demons that tortured him on a daily basis.  For most people even those who stepped out of the box sexually thought that Will was a “freak”  I had my own ideas of him, but I tried not to judge Will.

 

When Will Grabbed his Janis backpack he had placed inside it condoms, and a contraption to make ones penis big and hard.  I had seen these penis pumps before but I had never ever met anyone who had actually used them.  I thought this was for the men who really had a small penis and for men who were in the porn industry.  When they had to prepare themselves for a scene and couldn’t get it up.  I don’t know, cock ring yes, penis pump no!

 

I asked Will why did he feel the need to use it. His response was that he had used it before he had performed his male exotic shows.  And that to me set off an alarm! He was not “performing” these shows as he use to.  And so now this device had become addictive to him and was the only way that he could achieve an erection.  Shaking my head at this, our union was not a successful one at all!  And for me was not worth my time or his! Though I cannot say that he was nervous or intimidated I would say that Will was a man that I knew in my heart of hearts was majorly dysfunctional in many ways, and I will tell you why.

 

Will and I did not continue our “friendship” because of his sexual dysfunction or some of his sick fantasies but because of his attitude negative attitude.  But I am moving too fast in the story. 

 

Will had began to tell me some of his deep seeded issues as time went along.  One was that he loved his music and he made a very nice living off of it, producing music for commercials, movies and websites.  I was astonished at some of the music he made and quite impressed.  From world music, classical, jazz he produced it all. 

 

Will was heavy into church and played drums he spoke of how important it was to meet a woman who loved God and put him first while Will smoked and drank heavily and used other drugs.  Will had also told me that he needed a woman who was very open sexually and met his needs when it came to sex.  Such as swinging, ménage a trios’, and the big one that had taken me for a real loop was he wanted a woman to put a strap on and give him anal sex and he said he was not gay! I seriously questioned this matter, why would a straight man let a woman pretend to be a man and have “fake” anal sex with him?  Had he had it with a man before?  Or had he had a woman perform this to him many times before? I was confused as he was and I didn’t ask! It seemed that Will had wanted a lot of sexual favors and also wanted to experience a lot of things but was not heavy into a lot of things.  Very oxymoron if I say so myself! Now before I say this, I do NOT want any emails whatsoever sent to me.  But there have been some men that have told me a lot of strange things go on behind close doors with frat brothers.  That is not to say that all men who join fraternities are gay, bi-sexual or down-low! But some stories I have heard in regards to this alerted me to men who join fraternities and some of the things they do to get in them and be apart of them. I mean we can say that when men/women go to college they experience a lot of things (sexually) that they didn’t do or knew about until they went away to school. And the funny thing about all of this was his frat brother whom he was very close to and would do ANYTHING for and came over to his house on a regular.  It wasn’t to me anything that got me, they shared women, money, sex and whatever else and his best frat brother was married!

 

Will got stranger and stranger by the moment.  It was his constant belittling of me that made me cut him off.  He felt his talent was way above mine and what I did meant literally nothing! I of course didn’t want any sexual relationship with Will once I found out all his dirty secrets, for me he was a confused dysfunctional little boy! And that was my opinion but I never told him you are sick and need help!  That was not my place.  I mean that he was confused about his life and expected a whole lot from others and he couldn’t give that same respect at times he was too raw with his candor. It also offended many colleagues of mine when he asked them “weird” things.  I could no longer take up for Will.

 

When I had found someone to date, it was then that Will had started coming back by.  Or shall I say wanted to come by my home and it was then his jealousy and insecurity came out to play.  I hadn’t talked to Will in a year and once we caught up with each other.  His deep seeded fantasies and sexual prowess have increased and now he is “mad” that he can no longer find a woman to satisfy his needs.

 

I am sure there will be a lot of people that will agree with me that when you work in a very large office, (sometimes it really doesn’t matter) that there is a lot of flirting, sexing and many marital affairs! I have seen this in many offices but never to the echelon I had experienced in the A.  As I said earlier in previous episodes of ATL office romance, cheating and drama were in full effect and the women were hard up to have a man it didn’t matter if he was married or had a live-in girlfriend or in a relationship of some sort nothing was off limits!

 

A married man by the name of Chad wore his wedding ring with pride and any company event he brought his wife.  Chad flirted with any and every young woman to older women.  As long as you were a woman! Chad had affairs with many of the women in the office.  And at first when I met Chad I thought he was a very attractive man! He was training the new recruits at first until he moved over into another department.  I took Chad for a very low-key guy not out and about roaming as he was.  Chad was a comedian and this “9-5” was just his means to an end until he “made it big” I saw as Chad caused drama on the low and almost got caught and about to lose his job because he was doing things with fellow employees he should not be.  Smoking weed, drinking, hanging out, clubbing.  See once he had made it to supervisor it was told that you could no longer fraternize with the employees.  This was in their handbook! After being at the job for two years I succumbed to the madness.  Matter of fact Chad came to the parties I threw!!!! And had sex with one of the employees that was there!!!! Wedding ring on and all and asked me would I join the both of them!! I asked Chad why he cheated on his wife; he said “I don’t think of it as cheating.  I am faithful to her” Huh? (Scratching side of my head)

 

There were people that had sex in their cars in front/directly in front of the office management’s window and some of the supervisors were engaging in this same way on lunch breaks in the parking lot in front of security cameras!! And I know this because they got caught and fired!!! Were people that hot?  That horny where they had to have sex in the parking lot of their job not even twenty feet from the front door? Whoo! Overwhelming!!

 

I had met two cops in ATL and one of them I got very close with.  I will refer to one as Officer B. Dix.  Officer Dix was a man that was so deep and caught in the sexual world that I personally thought he may have lost sight of being a cop.  I know that may not make sense but you could call him on his cell at either two jobs he had and he was ready for “pillow talk”

 

I had met Officer Dix at an adult party.  He had brought his “new girlfriend” to the party.  His girlfriend was friendly and very nice, I could also tell that she was a woman that was very very blunt and she I soon found out later was very insecure.  Here was a lady in my opinion that didn’t have anything to worry about as far as looks wise and body wise.  If I had her height and looks I would be galloping down a runway! “Tracy” told to me by Office Dix was that he had a lifestyle in which he was not walking away from and if she wanted to be with him she had to flow with it.  Now let me first give you some background on Tracy.  She had been sexually, mentally, emotionally and physically abused from her parents to her husbands and family members.  These were some of the people that took advantage of her love, body, kindness and when I simply just say she had problems, No she really had problems.  And she also had serious health problems!!!

 

Officer Dix told me that he had taken her to a couple of places, (as I told you before there were a lot of legal clubs that hosted swinger parties just as if you were going to a regular dance club) that he was having “patience” with her and that she was working on it.  Now when you are sexually abused, emotionally and mentally abused a huge portion of those people have that “learned behavior syndrome” is what I call it.  If you have witnessed your parents fighting a lot of times you will find yourself in the same dysfunctional relationship.  Being hit, yelling, fighting; this is normal.  Also for some who have been sexually abused run to sex full throttle and have a very promiscuous sex life. And so was the case with Tracy. 

 

Tracy I could tell wanted to and didn’t want to do this at the same time.  Her experience this night was having sex with another woman, well not fully.  Her boyfriend and “Chuck” Can you imagine three people coming at you all at the same time? Interesting I know there have been super orgy scenes in porn but her breakout role was overwhelming!  And as I was told much later on Tracy did not enjoy or was attracted to women.

 

Tracy a lot of times was very pensive when it came to watching Officer Dix have sex with someone else, and she enjoyed going to the parties (the ones I gave) but not the ones that were dark, gloomy and you were being stalked.  At that time it was my hustle and I gave kid-adult parties with themes, games, light and laughter! You had a choice, and there was security at my gatherings when I really got started.

 

It was time going forth that Officer Dix seemed to push and push Tracy into more and more illicit behavior.  I had a rapport with each of them (friendship only) more so with Officer Dix who at one point said he “loved” her and wanted to marry her making this his third marriage as well as hers.  But the “swinging” was his carte blanche to being with other women.  But he would not “cheat” on her with another woman unless she knew about it.  You cannot have a relationship (my opinion) in the swinger-ism if you have an insecure girlfriend/boyfriend.

 

Officer Dix pursued me while I turned away and told him you love her.  He wanted to be with me lots of times.  I could not get involved with that mellow drama at all! Officer Dix had no idea of what he was “creating” He felt that all of this was for his needs and his needs only.  As time went by more and more he wanted to attend these sex parties and more and more it was mentally and emotionally hurting Tracy.  All the while he pushed the more Tracy was happy to have a man in her life that she felt “loved” her sincerely.  But this was not so, he then later told her they needed, again “they” needed a girlfriend.  And so it was they were now on the hunt.  They found one and her real sexual experience with two women and her boyfriend at the same time she enjoyed and was now getting very close to the new “girlfriend” because they had a lot in common!

 

It was now that Tracy had begun to go to parties by herself without Officer Dix, and she went to these parties with the girlfriend when she came in town or hooked up with others she had met along the way.  Tracy was hooked, and Officer Dix had now gotten tired of the scene he had been in for three years! You see Officer Dix was sick with cancer and did not know it as of yet so he was always tired. 

 

As Tracy was sick with Lupus and could no longer work Officer Dix was taking care of her and had grew tired and they never got married, he wanted her to move out of his home they had together.  It took her three months to move out and as soon as she did, she now was a “lesbian” and had a girlfriend and back to work.  I told Officer Dix this was all his doing, his fault as he relayed the information to me about her.

 

Well my time is up again!!! I must go, but I will of course catch you on the 12th episode of Erotic Cities!!

 

Toy High

www.justtoywrittenexpressions.com


EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE EPISODE THE DIRTY-DIRTY SOUTH EPISODE 12



I do apologize for the lateness in episode twelve. I seem to have my hands in so much with writing and so much more. However when we last met up I was speaking on Officer Dix who had actually taken a woman into a life that she knew nothing about and now she is full fledged into a world that I am sure she didn't think of coming into.


For some people that get into the erotic side of life to me or tortured in some way or another. Now I am not saying that if you like having sex you have an issue. But some people think being urinated on, defecated on, tying someone up and beating them, wearing women s clothing and prostituting (men) there is nothing wrong with it. But when you have men that say they are heterosexual and are not and have some eerie ways about them and people who love sex are literally down-low sexual deviants. There is some cause for a person to be a little leery.


I am now going to tell a story of a woman who has now left Atlanta and moved to Los Angeles. She lived in California and had a very non-committed relationship with her husband whom in my opinion she should have never married. However I knew there was a curiosity in being with women. So at the time of her living in Cali she was considered bi-curious. I was not attracted to her in that way to want to sleep with her. She was a very good friend of mine. But her nose was open from being around me and others who at that time associated with lesbians. I still at this present time in my life may judge and may not judge of what flavors people like and dislike when it comes to sex or a partner. For I am not the ultimate judge of character. But I can agree to disagree. However in my life I have had and known people of many walks and what they do and don't do behind close doors at the end of the day is not my business and does not make me say “ I cannot longer befriend you because you do things sexually that I don't do” no! I am merely stating that what people do and don't do doesn't bother me unless it effects me personally.


I shall call this woman “Sheila” Sheila was caught up mentally and emotionally with the travails of her marriage that she had decided to make a move to Atlanta and she lived there for eight years. And this is where the sexual beast in her came out! Sheila was now more of a party animal than ever. She attended swinger parties that were held on the outskirts of Atlanta and come to find out that a close friend of hers that she had been knowing for years was bi. Not only was she bi, but her husband was also into swinging. Thus began the intimate affair of Sheila, her best friend and husband in many threesomes and swinger parties. Sheila got so wrapped up in this lifestyle that she found men in bars and clubs that she wanted to experience many sexual escapades with. One in particular was with her boyfriend at the time. They went into a club and Sheila picked up a man and brought him home to have sex with while her boyfriend hid in the closet and watched. This later on became a problem for him because he later on began to stalk her and threaten her physically, verbally and emotionally because of her open affairs and swinging lifestyle. Swinging can be a dangerous game! I have met men and women who were so deep in this game with drugs and open sex that jealousy reared its ugly head and drugs took a toll on their bodies.


Imagine if you are a man and you have had sex with so many women that you cannot obtain a hard-on! I have witnessed some men who wanted a woman so bad and couldn't get it up and their frustration turned into rage! Constantly pulling at their private to MAKE it get hard by waiting others have sex. And to no avail they stay flaccid.


By the time that Sheila had left Atlanta not because she wanted to but because she had to for a certain family member that needed help. She was so open that she destroyed relationships with very close people because there were no boundaries for her. You cannot expect all of the people you know for years in your life to be open-minded to the choices that you make. When Sheila had come on to me we were coming from a friends home she went to school with. She wanted me to go to her house first before dropping me off to my home. Can a woman rape a woman? To this day I am not quite sure of that. But I do know that I was placed in a very precarious situation with her. Why did I need to come to her house when she would be passing up my home to get to hers? With her child in the backseat Sheila was driving and had reached over and put her hand down my top! I had been knowing Sheila since we were kids and for me this was a shock and she was hurting me by pinching on my breast so hard. I looked over at her and removed her hand and told her that it wasn't nice to do that especially having her child in the backseat who was wide awake! She stopped and I told her to take me home. She didn't, she drove to her home. When she got out of the car, I sat there and told her I would wait for her. She bid me to come in saying that it would not take long, she wanted to smoke a joint. I figured she was doing this to get some courage. So while she put her child to bed because it was late, she had poured a drink and had rolled a joint. I refused both, I was tired, edgy and my heart was beating fast because I was not comfortable. One drink ended very quickly and a second drink was poured. She kept offering and I kept refusing. Let me pause here, I have been around men who have done this very thing to me before and I was nervous and scared. Being a victim of rape and molestation you can feel the evil of a set up. And to me this was indeed a set up. I had mentioned to Sheila that if she kept drinking she would not be able to drive me home. Which I might add was no more than fifteen minutes away from where she lived. And just like that as she got up from the couch and went into her bathroom and came out she was all over me! Sheila is not a small woman at all! She was groping me and trying to get my clothes off as I tried to resist her, her weight and force were beginning to wear me down. Once she got the picture that I didn't want to be intimate with her in no way whatsoever her feelings were hurt! And because of this incident we are no longer friends. Twenty years plus of a friendship ruined! See the oxymoron thing about being bi, open sexually or swinging does not mean that you want to be that way with everyone in that journey. For some that do, that sleep with any and everyone and not because of sexual attraction there has to be something psychologically wrong with them. Would one want to sleep with an unkempt man or woman who sleeps in alleys just to have sex? I think not. Of course I am not speaking of someone addicted to drugs, that is a whole other story.


We are who we are and experience things that we want to because there are thoughts that have been implanted by others, what we have seen, read and what has happened to us in our past lives. I can honestly say that being raped an molested opened up the doors for me being highly sexual. I didn't take the I am scared of men and don't want to have sex side. No I ran to any and every man that would have me! (within reason no bums or addicts or men who were not attractive sexually) Which now brings me to the many down-low men in Atlanta. Though I have spoken many times on this subject in the Erotic Cities Episodes I can't say it enough. Because of this sexual liberation which is no longer kept in the closet by America. I feel it is unfair to those who are heterosexual (women) and they meet a man who they think are heterosexual as well and they have strong desires to be with men as well. And in the erotic city you have many women who know that their husbands or partners are bi-sexual and they live out these fantasies in threesomes and bi-sexual orgies so that they can keep their man. Is this erotic? Or is this now a sickness? Or is this some seedy event that has happened in the past of someone that because they maybe were molested or raped by a man that they now have sexual desires to be with men? Or were they feeling men and women ever since they were adolescent? Many questions right?


This now brings me to “Donald” a man who I can say was all man and loved women and was a strong man inside and out. Nothing about him told me that he could be with a man in any way whatsoever, but some of the things that Donald requested or was turned on by led me to believe that there was some moment in his past that he had experienced a man sexually, and this bothered me because he was not being truthful. Needless to say that we ended our affair. Maybe I had turned Donald out sexually where he felt he could open up to some “new adventures” with me. But wearing a strapped phallus was not a desire of mine, I on no way wanted to have anal sex with him, that is me doing him!


Well my time is up again! And next we will venture a little into Holly weird. But will the adventures be as wild as Atlanta? Stay tuned for episode 13!


Toy High



EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

EPISODE THIRTEEN


I haven't lived in California for five years, well excluding a year.  But on my visit back of 2012 I had found out  some interesting things of people who were very close to me.  The ironic thing was that these "people" I would have not guessed were in the swinger lifestyle.  One of these people I had an off and on again relationship with for over ten years.  Of course this rapport we had was nothing serious, far from love it was purely sexual.  And not having see "David" in over fifteen years.  I had learned that he had divorced his wife and also was a grandfather.  David was now in a committed relationship with someone whom he stated that he loved.  In fact when I touched back down In Cali he was the first person that had come to see me.  And as we stood out and spoke he told me that he was a swinger!  That his resent girlfriend was bi-sexual and that he was loyal to her.  Now let me say this as I have said in previous articles that there are rules and regulations that couples set for each other.  And David had made sure that he stood true to these rules in his relationship.  Which I actually found so interesting.  Let me stop and say this so that you can have some more history about the rapport that he and I had.  One was that in knowing David for all these years David kept a lot from me.  I would think that after knowing someone for a long time that one could be forthright with me.  This of course was not how David lived, this creed or code did not exsist.  Here we were in a very personal understanding and David had four children in the course of us seeing one another and he got married.  David also was not faithful to his wife.  I had found out that he was married when I received a text message some years ago from his wife asking me who I was!  For those of you who know about two-way pagers.  This was a new trend that everybody had gotten into.  And though at this time I had not seen David in about five or six years.  When I had seen him of course he not once mentioned he was married.  Again I seemed to not be given any respect about his personal intimate life.  The children, the marriage none of it! So it came to me by surprise that when we had seen each other in the many years that had passed he was now a faithful man in a committed relationship.


David had asked me if I we could "hook up" Well now being older and having things in a different perspective.  I declined, he was in a relationship that he cherished and apparently in love. David told me that if he had sex with another woman he would prefer that it would be in a swinger type situation and that his present girlfriend "Megan" be there.  Or option two was that it could be more of an intimate setting that included himself, Megan, myself and another man if I wanted.  David told me that he didn't "cheat" on Megan and that of he did it in front of her.  David stated that if he wanted to have sex with another woman he had to ask Megan.  Stating that she didn't mind, but it still bothered her if he had sex with another woman.  It was a jealousy for her I assume and only can assume that she was not apart of David being with another woman. When David and Megan went on their swinging episodes Megan only did females and was not interested in other men

David kept pushing the issue of us being together in a menage a troi and I had refused.  Now the reason I had did so was because I had no interest on his girlfriend at all! David?  Well yes that's another story.  Apparently if we had been lovers for years I wholly enjoyed Davis as a lover.

Now let us get into the juicy part of this story.  "Missy" is a woman that I have been knowing forever it seems.  A woman who is very open with her sexuality.  She likes women as much as she likes men and very vocal to whomever will listen about how kinky and eccentric she is.  Now due in part that I take the time out to write said episodes of Erotic Cities.  I am not one to sit in a group of men nor women and express how eccentric I am with no one unless asked or there is some open forum.  I don't find the need to broadcast it nor show any toys, literature, lingerie or speak on any of my exploits.  Not the case with Missy.  She needs the validation, the attention and she wants to be the center of any and everywhere she can.  Have you ever had anyone in your life that looks up to you so much that if you said jump they would say how high? Well this is who Missy was. She was like my slave or servant if you will.  No I did not make her that way and that was not my purpose for her.  That is how she put herself in my life.  A bit agitating for me because of me being a free spirit  and don't like to be smothered by ANYONE! You must be secure in the love and trust for me to be with me.  So imagine my angst when I had Missy calling or texting me on my visit when I was not in her presence ALL the time.  But where or whatever I wanted to go or do Missy was down just so that she could be around me.  So now that you have background on her, I can move deeper into the story.

I had of course told Missy all of what was going on with David.  She of course was a best friend of mine.  Of course she took my side that I would not place my self in the situation of being with David she agreed with me stating, "No I wouldn't do it either! How does he tell you the only way he can sleep with you is of you sleep with him is you should have sex with his girlfriend." We agreed.  Of course she would agree with me because that is who she was.  Now when I propositioned her with being with him, she said, "Well whatever you want to do I will do it with you." There you have it!  If I could have sex with David and asked her to join she was down.  Missy was so subservient that she would do anything to see me have sex with another man and be with me sexually as well.  I have known for years that Missy wanted me that way.  Let me stress this, which is slightly scary.  She was the single black female.  She mimicked me and as much as she could and that bothered me.  You ask why do I continue to deal with her.  I scoff at this and tell you the reason why is because  for one we live in different states and I don't have to deal with her as much.  And that we also have thirty plus years of knowing one another. 


David had text me and told me that there was a swinger party going on.  And of course I wanted to go just so that I could bring you this story! Nooot!  Truth is I wanted some excitement and hadn't had any of this sort of play in a long time.  So I had agreed.  Now I had told David about Missy as well, how  kinky she was and down and that if he wanted her he could have he he could.  I had even taken pics of Missy's nipples that were pierced and sent them to him. Being a breast man I am sure that David was excited and anxious at the same time.  David and Megan could have her!  And of course I would watch!  I swear I would because not only was I an exhibitionist in this arena.  I was also a voyeur of sorts.

So we are now at the swingers event, and I will admit that we Missy and I were very impressed. First and foremost the event was in a very should I say a place I would not visit or venture to in Los Angeles. But the set up was hot!  And this house was dedicated to catering to these type of events only!  The owner of the house had it decorated very posh I must admit.  There was security at the front, and when you walked in the door past security you met up with the cashier.  It was like actually walking into a dance club.  You received a stamp on your hand.  And on her counter there was a bowl that had condoms of all sorts inside of it.  Music was blasting, not a great mix at all.  It didn't set the mood for this type of event.  There were a sleuth of men and not enough women.  There was puff puff past of joints and blunts that had permeated through the air outside.  And these men were sitting on the bench.  There was as bar, and next to the bar there were bar tables and bar chairs along the walls of the backyard and patio which was all paved and very neat and clean .  There was also a stage and a stripper pole with mirrors behind the performer.  The female stripper they had hired didn't impress me or Missy at all!  In fact she had performed twice and not get any tips!

I had seen David and we hugged and kissed each other.  Introductions were made.  And now I could see his girlfriend up close and personal.  The picture he had sent me via text did not do her justice.  However the size and girth of her body mass was not something I wanted or was attracted to.  In fact I am not bi-curious, bi-sexual in anyway and I am not attracted so much to women where I crave to sleep with them.  My preference is men and men only!  Not that I hadn't been with a woman sexually I just didn't crave them and go back and forth as Missy did. 

We were giving a tour of the house and it's many rooms.  The one room that I loved the most was a queen size bed that was suspended by chains coming from the ceiling.  A bed swing! And there was also a chair in the room too that was made the same identical way.  There was a room for oral only and a couples room only.  There was porn being played on every flat screen TV and monitor all throughout the house.  Something I didn't quite care for at any swinger party.  I feel we all know why we are here, so why do we have to show porn?  It's not in good taste in my opinion. For me there is an discomfort level that feels forced upon it's participants.  And again this is my opinion only! 

We had found a table outside and of course got a feel of the people that were there.  The sad thing about going to swinging venues there are always people that you don't find attractive and would never ever sleep with at all!  This of course is a huge turn off to me.  I am not the perfect body nor shape.  But come on!! There was the host that had tried to solicit Missy and I to sleep with her if we had asked.  She had to be six feet or close to it.  She had to be three hundred plus and she was an admitted bi-sexual woman and a cougar.  She admitted that she loved young guys who were in their early twenties and that it was these young men that were well hung and gave her a run for her money.  I was quite disgusted that anyone would lie down with her.  She was sloppy and unattractive in my  eyes.  But they say there is someone for everyone, and yes it is!  The thing about swinging is that there will always be people there of course that you will wish they were not there.  And some that are bottom line perverts.  However the one thing that all swinger clubs have is the rule of watching and not participating.  Sounds crazy right? It is the private rooms that voyeurs are not allowed to go into and watch the couples have sex and not participate.  

Now what had turned me so off about this gathering of sexual and social misfits was that their were too many young people in attendance.  Now the fact that I am a grown woman with grown children that are past teenagers I do not want to have sex with any man that is younger than my children.  There were young boys there that were nineteen and eighteen years old!  And while this may have been beautiful for the host who gleefully stated that she was a cougar and proud of it.  This was not for me or Missy.  In fact when all the "babies" had talked to me I would ask them how old they were, I would scoff and laugh letting them know that I wasn't  interested in trolling in the pool of molesting young boys that yes were of age.  I was good and so were a lot of the guest that were at the function.  No one wanted to have sex nor put on a show for some young boys!

Now David had hot on Missy a few time asking could he see her pierced nipples and even suckle, Missy had politely turned him down.  Only because she knew I didn't want to have sex with him and his girlfriend.  Well I will tell you this much that David could have had me if he would have had no girlfriend and he didn't want me to sleep with her.  This party was a serious drag and I wasn't trying attracted to anyone there.  But of course I had a few men and young boys that were acting as if I was the last meal and if they could just sit down and have dinner with me everything would be great! So we left! But the adventure does not stop here.  The private threesome party .....

Missy I could tell was yearning for me in more ways than I can express.  So Missy had decided to have her own swingers party at her home.  And this is a home that was not hers  at all!  This home that she had been living in for the past nine years belonged to her boyfriends mother.  Well let's be clear the boyfriend that I will call "Mike" is no longer a boyfriend but an ex because they have not have had sex or slept in the same room for over a year.  Are you still paying attention?  I do hope so.  So the invite went out because Missy wanted this private party.  I was okay with her having the private party I just wasn't happy with the current situation and the blatant disrespect for a man that was sweet as pie literally! So the invites went out by phone and so now Missy was going to "share" the man that she had been having an affair with for the past few months into her home who by the way had no ides he was being invited to a private swinging party.  He was under the assumption that he was coming to see Missy.  The rest of the guest knew what was going on though.

I was not feeling this situation with "sharing" of the man she wanted "us" to have.  I said nothing to Missy about this, I kept my mouth shut.  Just because she felt that the sex between them was wonderful and they had a connection did not mean we would have one.  And that is what swingers do they pick the person they feeeeel they have a connection with. So when "Mark" came over I wasn't feeling him at allll!  Not to say that he was not attractive man, i just didn't see what Missy saw in him.  As the other guest arrived I wasn't feeling them at all.  But I waited as three other guest had began to file in.  All ready for some fantabulous freaky afternoon! Ne ow one thing I had noticed was that unlike me these people were greedy and anxious to have sex!! It didn't matter who it was with they just wanted to do it.  For me it  is all about the art of seduction and seducing my prey.  To kick back and not be so hard up.  Though yes as crazy as it may sound you do want to experience that high that sex gives us all.  But when you are to anxious and hungry it shows and for me it is a turn off.  So instantly I knew that Mark was ready to devour me. 

After we all had lunch that was prepared by Missy.  There were no drinks involved no popping of pills as some do when they come to these sort of gatherings.  No liquor, no marijuana.  We were not influenced by anything just flesh.  And the men that were there seemed as if they were drooling and the women were just as hot as Missy was.  I was now repulsed.  My whole idea of lust and sexual freedom was now on the shelf.  The variety of men and women had ruined my appetite!

Missy didn't wait she instantly had began to give Mark oral and he was very shocked when she had done this in front of everyone.  But of course he didn't stop her!  As she pulled waved for me to come over I had refused and had pulled the two other women over to Missy so that they could touch, kiss, lick and watch. I watched as the need for attention and sexual validation had begun.  For me it was like being out of body and not in as good way!

As Missy was working on Mark he seemed to be enjoying the sight and feel of hands all over him.  The two women had began to work on each other while the other man had watched and had bid me to come over to him.  I ignored him, I just wasn't feeling the scene and why did I not say anything because Missy was so anxious in having this wild sexual party.  Because I ignored the man he had now went over to the two women and had joined in.  Moans and sighs of pleasure had filled the living room.  And when it had gotten further into the crust of things.  I noticed no one had used protection! Disgusted ...

The sexual buzz and high was permeating through the room.  I felt the buzz, enjoyed the buzz and loved the noises.  But  not the people...

Well Until next time...yes this article is over.. but umm stay tuned for part fourteen!

Toy High



EROTIC CITIES NEW ADVENTURES COMING SOON!!!


It is ironic how you are about something and then that something is not all of who and what you are really about?  Like you can go to a lounge or eccentric bar and have a drink or two.  But that can't put you in the group of being an alcoholic.  My point is that some of us indulge in things that to an extent I would be a voyeur.  Knowing this about myself, also know that there are some things I will and will not participate in, nor do I want to have any knowledge of what some do or go.  My experiences with swinger life if you will fall very short to those who are inspired but this lifestyle to step in full throttle!

I love seafood!! Oh my how I love seafood!  Crab, lobster and shrimp I feel I could eat everyday!  But in my right realistic mind I know that if I did I would quickly get tired of it and want to eat something else.  As in the case with some that do and have swung in the lifestyle very hard and full on! I could not be a person that could swing for years on a consistent basis.  Not to say that who does is wrong and that they have an issue.  We all have issues and flaws in on way or another.  But being apart of a community of swingers and going to hang out twice a month for years with a group and then invited to go to other parties, I don't know.  It gets boring and tedious after awhile.

Now that I am back in Atlanta because I had been gone for three years.  I figured I would try and get my feet wet for a bit.  Nothing too heavy! So I have a close friend of mine that I have been intimate with recently.  I am not a fan of us, and the closeness of us bedding one another is a challenge.  For me it is a challenge because so many issues and things that I didn't know about until I had come back. I will call him “Kevin” Kevin was a huge supporter of my parties when I gave them.  And considered  to be an open-mind candidate to watch and have sex in a group setting.  We had discussed this many of times before we had gotten involved.  I loved Kevin because all the tiny and large idiosyncrasies I had he understood.  He also seemed to understand my prowess and my yearn to be free and adventurist.  I loved and still do love him for that! 

My first intimate encounter occurred with Kevin the night before I left Atlanta.  Wow!  Three years of knowing Kevin and I had no clue that sex would be as great as it was under the circumstances we were in.  The hopes of getting caught and not getting loud was also a huge factor for Kevin and I and it made it a bit more animalistic!  Three and a half years go by and I come back and tried too many times to have what “we” wanted; a hot passionate steamy sex life.  Not to be! Kevin is much younger than I and has major issues.  Issues that I had no clue about! Let me back up and say this before I go further.  I do not believe that a man/woman should have sex with anyone if they have physical, mental or emotional issues that will prevent them from performing decently in a sexual capacity.  And yes Kevin had these issues. It was so hard for me to address Kevin as to why he could not maintain an erection, why he kept trying over and over and over again to get one and yet make himself look bad and on my end grow increasingly tired of his issue.  I no longer wanted to be with Kevin in this way any longer.  What was the point? So After a few, which are a lot to me.  Kevin and I are and will be only friends like we were before the sex. 

When I left for a five week personal and business trip in California I could not lay down with Kevin and be intimate with him in anyway because I knew that I would be disappointed.  When we finally got to the meat and bones of his issue Kevin told me that when he was under emotional and mental distress it effected him sexually and his performance and he could not maintain an erection.  So my question was or is, “Why keep having or wanting sex with me?”  To keep me frustrated and agitated?  I assume that was the reason!  So now it made sense to me!  Kevin did not have sex at my parties because he was inadequate in the bedroom! Though he told me long ago it was him just coming to support me.  He wasn't about that life.  Now fast forward.  Kevin told me that he would love to go to some parties with me.  Really?  A man that has feelings for a woman wants to see her get done by another man?  Will I test this theory?  Of course I will!  Kevin has been wanting to have sex with me since I got back, and I don't have the kind of insurance!  I mean lets give it a break!  You are still under duress and saying you're not (Kevin) and what will be the excuse this time.  So in the new year we will adventure out into the world and see what happens.  I bet you this much!  He will not enjoy himself!  How can a man of his situation do so? So be on the look out!  Because the sexapades of the rich, famous and not so famous of swingers will begin! Rather I go just to hang out or rather I participate!  There are a lot of Erotic City stories to be told!

To be continued soon!...

EROTIC CITIES THE FLIP-SIDE

THE DIRTY DIRTY SOUTH

EPISODE FOURTEEN

You don't understand! Whew! I had to get that one out! It has been awhile since I have brought an Erotic City Flip-side. However I have recently moved back to Atlanta! After being gone for close to five years I was happy and excited to be back. Coming out of a bad relationship/marriage that didn't last long at all! My husband and I were not in the swinging lifestyle. However I had no idea that I was marrying an unstable emotional cheater! Who knew? I waited twenty years to get remarried and I marry him! I am not bashing him, I am only speaking truths! However, it would have been fine if we had been in the lifestyle than maybe I would have been okay with him being with other people. However, since we were not...it was time to get up and walk away!

Well I came back to Atlanta now being separated and soon to be divorced after two years. I wanted only to date! Nothing more nothing less. Jumping into the pool of lust was the last thing I needed nor wanted to do. That seemed to not take me into the right places. However here comes the boom! After dating here and there. Meeting some men that really didn't do it for me. Now I was more into having my mind stimulated. Or should I say I was always like that, but now even more!

I will call this man “John” I met John on one of the social media sites I am on. I am always meeting people on my accounts so this was no surprise. Rather it is business or personal. I of course make the decisions as to if I am going to meet the “personal” in person or not.

John and I spoke through the method of in-boxing here and there. Then John asked me of he could call me. I told him to leave me his number. John left his number in my inbox. I was in no rush to call or text John. If men found me interesting enough to approach me. I asked them to leave their number. I reached out when I was ready to reach out. You can call it control.

It took me a few days to contact John. As soon as I contacted John he was ready to meet me ASAP! We had one conversation, text the next day. Then John was ready to see me. This was typical of all the men that had the guts, or balls to reach out to me. I say that because it is much easier in my opinion to reach out to someone over the computer, behind a phone or some sort of screen and not in person to many.

At this particular time, and still to this day. I am not looking for a relationship, love, marriage or sex. That may seem odd to some. However, when you are on a path of personal improvement wanting to heal from emotional, mental baggage and garbage this is what one does. However I was clearly, and I am still open to meeting men. Of course! I am attracted to them, I enjoy the company of men, hanging out with men and talking with men. I wanted to be sure that the man I hang out with or even date stimulates me intellectually and that we have more than just physical and sexual attraction.

John had left work and was eager to see me when he got off. He had told me that he had been working a lot of overtime and had very few days off. Today was a good day to see me. Well, I am busy too! However I made some time for John since he made it a point that I seemed to always be busy. So a late lunch was planned.

It seemed that John and I would be a good couple. Meaning that we could be honest and straight forward with one another. He was very curious about me. As I was about him. John was also eager to ask questions about my past sex life. So soon? I had nothing to hide, but jeesh! I said something that seemed to spark these questions. However I said nothing in regards to sex. Nor pertaining to sex. This was a flag! A flag that would stay up from that moment on! John asked me if I was bi-sexual. Well I am not, neither am I bi-curious. He had began to tell me that he was sleeping with a woman that was bi-sexual and a model. When he showed me a picture of her. I was not impressed at all! I saw nothing that said model, good looking, attractive nor beautiful. I instantly asked myself....who has she modeled for? John also told me that he was having an affair with a married woman. My eyebrows raised! Why was a man who was fairly attractive dating, or should I say having an affair with a married woman? But I will tell you this. Atlanta at one time use to be number three in divorce rate. John told me that she was now pregnant so he was no longer seeing, sexing her. But, the “model” was his gosee you can say. She was the one that attended swinger parties with him and was bisexual. So there another red flag had gone up! He asked me if I was bi because I described myself as being “eccentric” however not fully knowing that eccentric has no correlation with sex at all. It simply means, odd, weird, different. He assumed sexual.

You see, John immediately thought that I would be a great addition to his circus and he hadn't even gotten to know me. Though he lied and stated that he loved my writing, my views, my opinion and how intelligent and different I was. He enjoyed my style and outlook on life and energy. I hear that a lot. Of course artist stand out. Well most do! I could see deep inside John plotting and planning. However I gave no vibes that I wanted to be with him nor join his cohorts. John was honest, he said that he was a swinger and loved the lifestyle. I told John this was not a lifestyle that I indulged in anymore. All because I was too old for these shenanigans. John was going to be fifty soon, and to me I thought that was a bit too old to be playing in this arena. Not saying tht men don't have sex at this age or not players. I just thought differently of him I guess from the inboxing and conversation we had. Yes, I told John I had been with a woman. But that didn't mean that I was looking to get with a woman again!

John was fairly fit, so it seemed. I mean he was active, not overweight. However, when is enough enough? It seemed as if John was getting on me for not wanting to be a swinger anymore. Though he told me that he didn't participate as much as he use to because he worked so much now. However, the ha ha thing in this is. John says that he had to stay relevant in the community and at least participate here and there. Later I would come to find out that John was very vain and cocky because he hosted ten inches. I guess that is impressive for a lot of horny women.

I go to hang out at Johns house. Why because I was comfortable to do so. I didn't feel threatened of any sort. Of course he tried me, tried to hit on me in a sexual way more than twice. But I refused! I just met the man! I wasn't looking for a bed fellow! But apparently John was because his ex married lover was now off the market. However he was tiring of the “model” because she begged and asked him to come have sex with him. Again I wasn't impressed. Swinging was no longer appealing to me as it once was. The reason was because most of the people that were in this life got so consumed, for some it was like a drug. For the men that were addicted to this lifestyle I found out later were having a hard time maintaining an erection. Some would get to these parties and were drunk and couldn't get it up! Some were stoned on so much more than just alcohol. Again I say some. Keep in mind in this elite tight circle. Drugs were plenty! Of course! It was an open orgy! Of course the host, if the host was giving this at their home. What one could think of or want would be supplied! This is of course is the same when you go to the private clubs. Nothing different! It is like going to a rave! The club owner of course may not sell drugs, but there are people there who do!

After my first meeting with John I had placed him on hold. He and I spoke, but what I came to find out was that we really didn't have too much in common. Our conversation flowed only because we were trying to get to know each other. That meant asking each other questions about the other. Children, family, interest, past relationships, hobbies. You know things like that. So that was the interesting part of it. However, John came off as a horny crazed sex fiend in my opinion. Whenever I would tell him that he would deny it! But I knew better! Is there not more than just having sex with a woman? Are we now old wnough and not young teenagers where we have to feed our lust ASAP? Plus STD's is back on the rise and now Charlie Sheen has come out and says he has had HIV for years! Don't be in such a rush to lay with someone you barely know was my feelings.

Two weeks had gone by. The one thing I could say that I did like about John was he was very straight forward and honest. He also had a great sense of humor. He also enjoyed my sense of humor. I could tell that John was deeply feeling me, while I was far from deeply feeling him. Why? Because here was a man that was too cocky for his own good. He also was a narcissist that need to be put in his place. But while he was slinging his penis around giving it freely. While women were praising him for his thick ten inches he would be arrogant and self fulfilled! I hadn't taken that plunge as of yet.

John was accustomed to women running up behind him, he loved it. He denied this, but that was a lie. He loved the fact that women wanted him, begged for him to sleep with him. Too much begging bothered him. Oxymoron isn't it? I didn't do it, and yet had I had any of Johns ten inches, I was cool! I really was. So as the days progressed, some days I would text him and wish him a great day. Days would go by and neither of us would reach out. However when I did, he would call me a “stranger” My thoughts were, you can call me just as I can call you. Oh, I forgot to mention that John drove a Mercedes convertible Benz. This was not an extension of his penis. But of his grand ego. Not just for the ladies to drool over but for men. No no no! John wasn't gay! But he liked the attention! When I hung out with him, John took me to the places that he frequented. Mainly to show me off. This is not for my ego, but for his. Because the men he introduced me to, that hung out and frequented the same places he did would fond over me as well. I seen the women, or some of the women John had been with, and ummmmm....it seemed to me in my eyes that it didn't matter what they looked like. As long as they had a va jay jay and breast it was all good. Neither did he discriminate, he screwed all ethnic backgrounds.

John had asked me to go to a gathering with him. A gathering that I made sure by asking of course if these people were who he swung with. They weren't, they were people he worked with. So I went. I did have a great time, beautiful home, nice people. Then I see John, John was drinking and I am not a big drinker. My father was once a severe alcoholic. I drink sociably, two at the most! But john, John was throwing them back. Now I was concerned. How would he be able to drive? I was very nervous! I asked him if he wanted me to drive, he said he was okay and that he could do it!

I had noticed that John had gotten off the freeway, or highway some say. This was not the way to my home! However maybe he felt comfy taking the surface streets because he was a bit alebriated. The police are notorious in Atlanta on drunk drivers! However, I quickly noted that we were not headed to my home but his! So of course I opened my mouth and spoke. I asked, “Why are we going to your house?” because I am too drunk to drive you home.” I knew this trick, and I thought it was a low blow to my esteem and as a woman that we are grown and you could have simply asked if it was okay. Not just take me to your house. Such a low life I thought to myself. Of course giving him a piece of my mind at the same time. In a cordial way of course because I had no idea of what type of drunk John was. John tried me, of course he did!!! However he was too drunk and I wasn't having it. The one thing about me is I loath a drunk, and I loath drunk sex!!

John an I ended up hanging out the whole weekend. It was fun, we laughed and again in that getting to know ach other. Me being an inquisitive soul I was alwys asking question in many areas.

I had a lot on my plate, and I didn't have my internet or wifi services on as of yet. I had to change my provider and they couldn't get out to me as they hd promised. I needed to handle some serious business. John and I had not seen each other in three close to four weeks since our last meeting when he was drunk. However, I had called him up and asked if he felt comfortable with me using his printer and computer so I can set up some of my business' services. He of course was okay with it. The wonderful thing was he was working two of his jobs and I would not have to be bothered with him over my back and on my neck and trying to get between his legs!

However John did warn me that he was going to have company later on. A couple were coming by his house that were swingers. At this time my funds were low, my car had been wrecked. Those who I could have called to come and get me and take me home lived too far away. I had been gone for close to four years. So I had not contacted many of my old constituants. How clever to tell me all of this at the last minute. Or the day he had picked me up to bring me over to his house. Now if he wanted to have sex with a couple, I really could have cared less. This may sound odd to some, but not for me. First I wasn't going to participate, second I wasn't sexually attracted to John. Not in the way he was with me. Third, we were not in a relationship nor were we dating. I mean we were hanging out here and there. I will say that I did have an intimate moment with John. I didn't get nor feel the way the other women did over this man in bed. My expectations are very high in the sex arena. When a man toots his horn and speaks on how wonderful he is in bed. I expect that! However, John didn't say he was wonderful in bed, he spoke on how large his member was and how women seemed to clamor all over him for it. John gets the gas face from me because I was not impressed!

John thought that if he had brought this couple over I would jump at the chance to make it a foursome! Nope not at all! I didn't even want to play the voyeur. How silly of him, the simple mindedness of him. Thinking that he could lull and pull me into a world I said I didn't want to be a part of. No one can make me do anything I don't want to do. It has to indeed be something I want to be apart of, period!

Well, when his friends got there. I went into the other room. I had no wishes to meet them personally so that I not give off the impression that I was participating in their romp. Besides, when I seen her and him, I was not impressed. My thoughts had quickly went to all the pics of women John had shown me that he had sex with, past girlfriends. I am not saying any man nor woman has to sleep with a model-esque type person. No! But to lay up with anyone who wants a sample is too much! When do you draw the line? It's like a woman/man who is in a relationship and their partner cheats with someone who is less attractive than they are. You scratch the side of your head and think, “Why?” I shook my head at John, you have fun, because that is! I was not going to be pimped out for John's personal sex lust games.

John was excited and happy! I ignored him and the menage he was about to have. When he was ready to move into his bedroom which is where I was at, I kindly moved out of the room and came to sit in the living room. Where the female was giving fellatio to the male. I walked back out, John thought it was funny and was smiling from ear to ear. I rolled my eyes and was getting a bit agitated by it. But I didn't stay in the mood for too long. Because John was getting a kick out of my facial expressions.

They all left and journeyed into the bedroom and I was content in the loving room watching TV on the projector screen that john had in his living room. I talked on the phone, it was like they were not even in the same house. That is until John came into the living room nude, with a condom having off of his penis!!! Smiling like a Cheshire cat! Really???? Did you need to come out of the room and walk allll the way in here to let me know you were using protection, or that you were screwing??? Wow!!! This was now the last straw for me. John had signed his death certificate.

When they left John expected me to sleep in the same bed with him and wanted me to have sex with him!! Really???? Are you serious???? You just got laid!!! Nope I am good, I slept on the couch. That morning John woke up, he tried to solicit sex again. I was so livid and disgusted with him.

John spoke incessantly of swingers, his lifestyle, his penis, having sex so much that it totally turned me off!!!!

The life of a swinger! When I left that day I immediately erased his number, all text messages and blocked him from my phone. If I want to be a madame, a swinger, live a loose life as he was. I'ma call you, I will! NOT!!!!!!However when one meets a person(s) who is so deep in this life and can't see past their penis or va jay jay to live in reality and note that there are more things that are interesting in life than just a quick screw an not establish a real friendship. Which is what I was trying to establish with John. The many conversations we had with one another. The many conversations that I had told him of his many exploits and that I did not want to be his concubine or a part pf his harem. He seemed to inner and understand that. But for some reason John was blinded by sex, sex, and more sex! This is some of the thoughts and feelings of some of the people that lived in Atlanta! Hot sex on a platter!


Stay tuned for more Episodes...until next time!











 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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